Neighbours kid peeping over our fence

[Nws93]

Sorry I wasn't sure where to post this, hopefully somebody can give me advice.

We're having a few issues with our next door neighbours eldest son (8) peering over the backyard fence CONSTANTLY! Their youngest son is 3.
It has got to the point where we cannot go into our garden without him popping up whether it be 8am or 8pm. I dont mind if our own children (8 and 6) are in the garden as they do talk which is nice. But its becoming a problem which has been highlighted more now the weather is nice.
Yesterday (kids off school) it got to the point where I was getting a bit annoyed that he was interrupting and trying to undermine me getting my 2 in as they had started to fight over something, it just made the whole thing worse and its not the first time this has happened. then husband was in the garden doing some work (8.30pm) and the kid pops up again trying to get his attention. We have told him many times to get down but he doesn't listen and for whatever reason his parents are not telling him despite us having a chat that we dont mind now and again if the kids are in the garden too but it is not nice when we are trying to relax and hes there constantly or is undermining our parenting our own kids. Hes 8!
Theres many more incidents where hes constantly undermining me with my own kids and whinning about stuff and throwing rocks and toys into our garden to get our attention. Its like having a third child that i cant tell off and I feel like I cant just pop out in my pjs because hes always there.
I feel awful, Im not sure if hes lonely, but its too much and although his parents apologised and know it's an issue hes either not listening to them telling him not too or they dont care.
At this point I dont know what to do, I dont want to ruin the friendly relationship with our neighbours but at the same im at my wits end that I cant use my own garden without him there. Does anybody have any suggestions?
Oh and we tried fence trellises but that hasnt worked either.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Tall bamboo in big pots.
Or a sprinkler that catches the top of the fence. Or both.

I'd also start getting blunt & cross with him.

Trellis
Higher fence
Water pistol

The advice you'll be given depends on whether you and they own, rent privately or rent through council/housing association.

Throwing rocks is not something you should ignore!

Get a pergola thing and block their fence.

Do you engage with him at all when he does this. Speak with him at all? Maybe completely ignore him, don’t even look at him. Hopefully he’ll find it boring and stop it.

The parents are the ones that need to teach their son to stop doing it!!! Ideally, the son should’ve been taught when he was much younger. This is all part and parcel of parenting which is sadly lacking nowadays.

Not bamboo as its so invasive, but also you need something prickly!

We had this issue many years ago, but theyd also hang out their windows and watch us. We started calling out loudly enough that their parents could hear and tell them to stop watching us. They were very strange children, when we unpacked our shopping they used to come and look at what we had in our boot - until we told them to go away

Bamboo in pots, which will be fine. Especially if they buy clumping bamboo.

Haven't read the whole thread but have you tried chatting to him, getting to know him, inviting him over? Sound like he would make a good friend to your dc. Some of my oldest, most valued friendships are my childhood neighbours. Your kids are missing out on this opportunity.

Sounds like you haven't read even half of the OP!

Oh i read it. Sometimes making a friend is better than making an enemy.

If it’s your fence I would put trellis at the top. We had this exact same problem and I put up trellis with plastic leaves on it, which I don’t like the look of but it’s better than a child’s face.👀

Spray him with the hose he will soon stop

She said they've tried trellis. So she needs better screening.

@Nws93 if the trellis is still there you could also get a roll of greenhouse shading material and nail it up to the trellis.

You absolutely can tell him off if he's throwing things, or if he's "undermining your parenting" - if you're letting an 8 year old do this then you're being far too soft.

we tried fence trellises but that hasnt worked either

Why didn't it work?

Lots of good advice here but I wanted to reply because I was a peeping 8 year old once (minus the interacting part). An upstairs window overlooked the neighbour's window and sometimes I would be nosy and watch. One time I must have started daydreaming and when I came to, I realised the neighbour was looking straight back at me. So in a panic, I pretended to DIE and then after what I thought was a safe amount of time, I crawled out of the room...

I agree with pp. Physically block his view.

🤣🤣

How does he undermine your parenting? I’m curious about this part.

So annoying. I can see why you're pissed off. Tall trellis, climbing plants or bamboo. Failing that a tall new fence.

Why don’t you just go round to his house when he next starts, ring the doorbell and ask his parents face to face to stop him doing this. Take round anything he’s thrown into your garden and show them.

Be nice, but firm - little Kevin is spoiling our enjoyment of our garden. He doesn’t seem to understand that listening to and commenting on our conversations is rude. I’d be grateful if you could explain to him and keep an eye on him so he doesn’t continue to do so. We are shocked that he’s throwing rocks into our garden and this needs to stop.

every time he’s out there hanging over your fence, go round and see them. If they are with him, get up to your fence yourself, call them over and tell them it has to stop.

Would one of those big garden shade sails work? Ideal time to put one up considering the weather we've been having.

I think you’re being far too nice. I’d be telling him to stop looking over the fence full stop - it’s rude and cheeky. Point him in the direction of his own house and garden every time. I’m not sure how he’s undermining your parenting at 8 but I’d also be pointing out it’s not for him to tell you what to do with your own kids. I think you’re going to have to be super firm every time because his parents obviously aren’t, and if you let him look sometimes, but not others, you’re just confusing him.

Yes, but you can’t see through the trellis with the plastic leaves on it. Tacky though it is.