Neighbours kid peeping over our fence

[Nws93]

Sorry I wasn't sure where to post this, hopefully somebody can give me advice.

We're having a few issues with our next door neighbours eldest son (8) peering over the backyard fence CONSTANTLY! Their youngest son is 3.
It has got to the point where we cannot go into our garden without him popping up whether it be 8am or 8pm. I dont mind if our own children (8 and 6) are in the garden as they do talk which is nice. But its becoming a problem which has been highlighted more now the weather is nice.
Yesterday (kids off school) it got to the point where I was getting a bit annoyed that he was interrupting and trying to undermine me getting my 2 in as they had started to fight over something, it just made the whole thing worse and its not the first time this has happened. then husband was in the garden doing some work (8.30pm) and the kid pops up again trying to get his attention. We have told him many times to get down but he doesn't listen and for whatever reason his parents are not telling him despite us having a chat that we dont mind now and again if the kids are in the garden too but it is not nice when we are trying to relax and hes there constantly or is undermining our parenting our own kids. Hes 8!
Theres many more incidents where hes constantly undermining me with my own kids and whinning about stuff and throwing rocks and toys into our garden to get our attention. Its like having a third child that i cant tell off and I feel like I cant just pop out in my pjs because hes always there.
I feel awful, Im not sure if hes lonely, but its too much and although his parents apologised and know it's an issue hes either not listening to them telling him not too or they dont care.
At this point I dont know what to do, I dont want to ruin the friendly relationship with our neighbours but at the same im at my wits end that I cant use my own garden without him there. Does anybody have any suggestions?
Oh and we tried fence trellises but that hasnt worked either.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Can you put one of those garden sails up attached to the fence, so he can't see anything?

Don’t, next thing you know he’ll have a supersoaker and be wanting water fights with your kids all the time.

OP, you want to make this boy lose interest. I’d rig up a clothes line close to the fence and hang a couple of sheets over it for a few weeks, or hang up some awnings. Once he can’t see you his interest will wane.

Don't be silly - how on earth is it 'horrible' to not begin a friendship with a random person? Do/did you go out of your way to make friends with people whom your parents tell/told you they feel sorry for?

There are billions of people in the world who aren't my friends; that doesn't mean that they're my enemies or that I'm being horrible to them by not having identified and nurtured a special bond and become their friends.

He is not a random person. He is a young neighbour. Be the adult.

Most people don't plan to move in with their friends or indeed people whom they know - they do indeed randomly end up as neighbours. Some later become friends, in the same way as people who meet others at school or work sometimes become friends; but it's not actually compulsory.

Where do you get the rule from that you have to be great friends with your neighbours? Do you really make your kids choose their friends based on who happens to live next door, rather than the other kids to whom they feel a natural affinity - with similar likes/dislikes and personalities as them? Even if they throw rocks into your garden?

I'd go easier on him if he were a toddler (although I would still talk firmly to his parents about what is and isn't acceptable); but he's 8: plenty old enough to lead your kids astray, rather than them honing his behaviour.

Unbelievable. I understand now why communities are breaking down.

I agree the behaviour of todays children is wrecking it

No man is an island.

Good luck op.

Maybe OP should give this boy lots of attention and encourage him to throw rocks and undermine her parenting because of course we should never say no to children and it would destroy his life and self esteem forever if she doesn’t want to engage constantly?

Perhaps she should take down the fence and include him in everything so as not to be mean?

Would you seriously want to encourage this intrusion and welcome it?! I can see why some kids are so badly behaved now if they have neighbours who see them being annoying and instead of telling them off they their kids to make friends with them.

I don’t believe anyone would reward a child with more attention when they are so intrusive, I think this is just a post for attention.
Were you an annoying kid who spied on your neighbours?

I'd have a word with parents. They must be aware of what he's doing and clearly don't give a toss, so need to know it's not on.

If that doesn't work, make sure you water near the fence when he's there, and you need to tell him sternly whatever us happening, urs not of his business and his comments aren't worth considering.

Do you own fence? Then last resort, put a note through parents door telling them you're putting spikes on the fence!

Respectfully OP, you need to get a backbone. You’re wringing your hands and feeling anxious an 8 year old. You’re far too soft and have allowed this to persist for far too long already. He knows you’re a walkover.

You are the adult here, he is the child. The fact you even use the terminology that he ‘undermines’ your parenting says something. The only person allowing him to undermine you, is you.

Next time he is up there, tell him to get down, NOW and STOP interfering where he is clearly not wanted. If he persists, openly spray him with a high pressure hose until such time that the brat stops. Repeat as much as needed. Here is your chance to show your children that they don’t have to just put up with other people’s shit in life!

Also, collect whatever he has thrown, march round there, bang on the neighbours door and leave whatever it is on their doorstep when they open it. Don’t ask them, tell them to keep their child under control and away from your fence or you will continue spraying him whenever he invades your privacy.

Quite frankly, his parents are clearly shit, so you likely don’t want to be friends anyway, and he’s an arse who you probably don’t want your kids hanging around with, so no loss. No way I’d spend a penny more trying to shield him from the garden, it is time he just got telling off after telling off after water spraying until he gets the message. If he persists, so do you until such time he stops.

So go and get your life and your peace back from an 8 year old.