Neighbours kid peeping over our fence

[Nws93]

Sorry I wasn't sure where to post this, hopefully somebody can give me advice.

We're having a few issues with our next door neighbours eldest son (8) peering over the backyard fence CONSTANTLY! Their youngest son is 3.
It has got to the point where we cannot go into our garden without him popping up whether it be 8am or 8pm. I dont mind if our own children (8 and 6) are in the garden as they do talk which is nice. But its becoming a problem which has been highlighted more now the weather is nice.
Yesterday (kids off school) it got to the point where I was getting a bit annoyed that he was interrupting and trying to undermine me getting my 2 in as they had started to fight over something, it just made the whole thing worse and its not the first time this has happened. then husband was in the garden doing some work (8.30pm) and the kid pops up again trying to get his attention. We have told him many times to get down but he doesn't listen and for whatever reason his parents are not telling him despite us having a chat that we dont mind now and again if the kids are in the garden too but it is not nice when we are trying to relax and hes there constantly or is undermining our parenting our own kids. Hes 8!
Theres many more incidents where hes constantly undermining me with my own kids and whinning about stuff and throwing rocks and toys into our garden to get our attention. Its like having a third child that i cant tell off and I feel like I cant just pop out in my pjs because hes always there.
I feel awful, Im not sure if hes lonely, but its too much and although his parents apologised and know it's an issue hes either not listening to them telling him not too or they dont care.
At this point I dont know what to do, I dont want to ruin the friendly relationship with our neighbours but at the same im at my wits end that I cant use my own garden without him there. Does anybody have any suggestions?
Oh and we tried fence trellises but that hasnt worked either.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

You don’t want to ruin your friendly neighbour relationship but you’re happy to let an 8 year old do it for you?

Ask them to stop their son throwing rocks in your garden.

Thank you everybody for your quick replies! Some good suggestions which ill look into.

Sorry should have clarified a couple things, the fence is 2m high (not sure if we can legally go any higher). The trellis weve got doesnt deter him, hes climbing on something to peek over Which is higher than it.
We do tell him off if he does something dangerous (i.e throws stones). Ive tried chatting briefly and then telling him to get down, but 2 minutes later hes back.
He tries to undermine my parenting by telling my children that they weren't in the wrong and basically shouldn't listen to me. For example, my 2 arguing, I go out and try to defuse the situation. Most of the time it means bringing them in to calm down a bit, but he will say to them no you dont need to go in it wasn't your fault or talks over me when im trying to talk to my own kids and find out what happened etc. I have told him not to interfere but he still persists. Luckily my kids dont really listen to him when this happens and know if ive asked them to come in its to cool off for a bit and calm down.
The kids do play together too, but its like he wants constant attention (which my eldest does too, but he doesn't go over their fence because hes been told not to) and we give him the attention he needs as a family.

I think im just going to have to be stricter. Ignoring him doesn't work, but then telling him over and over to get down doesn't either. And even when hes down hes still shouting over the fence at us. I feel awful, I do, but its very overwhelming at times.

Get some windbreaks and nail them half way up the fence. We did this for my Mum when the little boy next door kept standing on a chair next to the fence shouting at her the whole time she was outside. She's got a gorgeous little courtyard garden full of lush plants and it's her sanctuary - but this lad was stopping her from going out there.

Next time he does something, firmly tell him you're going to have to go and speak to his mum if he doesn't stop.

He sounds awful op. I'd have no qualms at getting cross with him and telling him to be quiet, mind his own business, get down, don't be so rude and how dare he attempt to interfere etc

Another thing you can do is put higher trellis on posts about a foot away from the fence. Not the cheapest option but there are photos online if you're interested

A hosepipe would work 🤭

"That's enough Jack, go away please".

"Jack, this isn't anything to do with you, go away please".

"Jack if you don't stop this, I'm coming to speak to your parents".

"Jack I'm coming over now to speak to your parents"

Then speak to them.

Get your kids to hang over his fence and comment on everything that goes on.

I think I'd ask his parents if they can move whatever he is standing on and stop him doing that. It's rude.

Channel your inner school teacher talking to him. Of course you can tell him off for throwing rocks - involve talking to his parents as part of this even if you don't expect them to police it effectively. Reframe this "undermining" - he's 8, he doesn't have that power. All he's doing is trying, and failing, to undermine you. Your parenting is strong enough that it's not going to be troubled by someone else's 8 year old.

Tell him very loudly to fuck of. I wouldn't have the patience for that carry on.

This would drive me fucking insane, in fact it has before. Kid always up the fence. My kid out there encouraging it. Then it’s “Alfie says can he come in our garden?” Ffs. Ok. Then that’s never enough “Alfie said can he go upstairs?” No!!! Give em an inch they’ll take a mile. Don’t know what the solution is. Your own kids are the reason he’s up the fence but what can you do 🤷‍♀️

Hosepipe

Water gun. Every time.

He sounds awful and he sounds like there's something wrong with him.
Some children are awful starecats.
I'd get a hose and spray him.

I woukd try not interacting with him as well . Make it boring for him.

I would you around to your neighbours and disturb their peace Everytime and I would ask them to move what he is standing on. Tell them that it’s become a nuisance as it is constant and deterring you from him coming around to play with your DC.

Id have a clear chat with the parents it needs to stop.

Then id escalate.

HEY! GREG!
BE QUIET AND GO AWAY! No one cares what you think.

Afterward I'd go round even if its in your PJs
Knock fucking loudly, Disturb their peace and tell them their child isnt being rude to you.
Every single fucking time.

I'd do that for a week after that I'd be accidentally using the garden hose on him.
What a little fucker

Also Wtf is he standing on thst he is over 2m high???
The parents need to move it away.

The stones take them back to the parents and explain their feckless little arsehole is going to put you or one of your children in hospital. If its happens again you'll serve a legal letter.

Tell him you’ll have him arrested and thrown in jail under the Nosey Little Gits Who Don’t Mind Their Business act (1998).

A high plant or bush. Or some sort of trellis. He’s 8 - just cover up the gap.

Actually it's a fair point to tell him that this sort of behaviour is harrassment.

Water pistol

I really think you need to take a much stronger line. Tell him to go away in a loud, nasty tone of voice. Lose your temper and tell him how angry you are about his behaviour. Spell it out to him how rude and unacceptable his actions are. Do not allow your children to interact with him ever again, certainly not in your house or garden. Be blunt; he and parents clearly don't understand polite.

Had this with the previous people next door and their son.

Being polite didn’t work, so I told him angrily to bugger off and stop looking over the wall at us. He stopped.

I’m sure I’ll be told I was cruel, but he was a stubborn little git and wouldn’t take telling nicely.

Are you me? We have this EXACT problem with our next door neighbour and my 2 kids. He stands on a stool and interrupts us when we do ANYTHING in the garden. Often his parents and his siblings are also in the garden and take no notice. We might be having a family splash in the paddling pool and he’ll ask my kids to stop and come and talk to him. I say sorry, we are having some family time but he persists.

The other day he asked them if they wanted to play with his new nerf guns. My kids are younger so I said thank you but no, my kids weren’t yet allowed to play with toy guns. I said this VERY loudly so him mum could hear. Next thing I know he’s chucking two guns into the garden and shouting for my kids telling them to ignore their mummy and listen to him instead.

Talking to his parents is useless as they just say he’s inquisitive and is ‘just being friendly’

I hate summer for this reason!