Do u hang out much with your late teens daughters?

[Greedybilly]

I always imagined it would be so nice going for coffees/city breaks/walks/shopping but both my kids only hang out with me as a last resort.
I have my own life and they have theirs which is as it should be but neither of them ever wants to spend a day/afternoon together/go anywhere. :(
I just feel I'm completely used for cash and emotional support which is fine as a mum but shouldn't there be a fun side too? Or what's the point? Please be kind feeling hurt and very sad.

My DD is 18, she spends more time with friends than us as parents, which I encourage. If she is free i may get her watching a tv show we both like or shopping when we have lunch out. We both enjoy trying new restaurants so it works for us. Try to find a common interest.

I spend a lot of one on one time with my 17 year old, he says i’m his best mate! I never spent time with my mum as a teenager but it changed when I was about 23 and we are now very close and I see her almost everyday

From a different perspective, my Dd is a bit younger (16) but we hang out a lot because she is autistic and has had years of mental health problems so hardly has any friends. Your children are enjoying their independence- it's not a bad thing. I would much prefer it if my DD could be like yours. There will still be times that you can do things together, even if it isn't quite how you envisaged.

Have you asked them for suggestions what they want to do?

It's likely in a few years they will grow up a bit more and want to do your list of suggestions with you.

In the meantime, start smaller and much less pressure:
Quick chat making coffee in the morning, sharing a left over pudding, asking them for makeup/hair/style advice.

I have boys so never expected to hang out with them once they were older. Now, at 20 and 22, we do go out for coffee or for the old meal but only of they aren't seeing friends or they're at a loose end. And this is how it should be in my eyes, I have my own friends to go out and about with, as do they.

I enjoyed spending time with my mum as a teenager, we would go on walking holidays together which I loved as she would tell me stories about her youth and that fascinated me (especially her secret boyfriend when she was a teenager!). She also took an interest in my interests, which helped. In my late teens I suddenly got interested in opera, and she took me to various operas. I moved abroad at 20 though which I realise now must have been really tough on my mum, but whenever I can I get back to visit and spend time with her, or she visits us - we love to drink beer and play scrabble together.

My own DD is only 15 so don't know yet how our relationship will be later on but right now she still enjoys spending time with me and we watch programmes together most evenings. She is currently trying to plan a time for me, her, and one of her friends to watch Hamilton together and sing certain parts (her friend has made a spreadsheet). But she will be moving away in a year to go to a school further away and that will make it harder to spend time together. But I've promised to take her interrailing when she finishes school, hopefully she'll still be up for that.