Partner terminally ill - should we get married?

[Butterbeanbutterbo]

My partner is terminally ill, probably now in final months of life, and we are considering getting married. We have been together over 20 years and have a now-adult child. What are the pros and cons of doing this? We know it would mean me being eligible for bereavement allowance once my partner dies. Also that we would have to change our wills to reflect the fact we’re married. Anything else we need to think about? Note we are below the inheritance tax threshold. I currently have power of attorney for health and finances.

im so sorry.

see a solicitor urgently. Usually, financially, getting married is best.

So sorry.

Being below the IHT band doesn’t mean there aren’t tax advantages to getting married. If you marry and he leaves everything to you, you’ll get his full allowance, so you’ll then have a higher threshold for passing things to your daughter, so will be helpful if you end up over the threshold later.

I’ve been where you are now. Get financial advice and legal advice asap. Doing so saved me from financial ruin, losing my home and untold potential problems despite having wills in place. I can’t say it won’t be difficult afterwards, but being married (even if it was just 11 days) made a world of difference in dealing with everything. We had been together for 35 years and no children involved. So yes, get married. Registrars are sadly very used to these arrangements needing to be done quickly - ours was arranged within 3 hours of asking and was performed at our home.
It’s an utterly shit place to be in and you have my deepest sympathies.

We did, it made things so much easier in the final weeks and months and it made dealing with his (limited) estate simpler too.

And yes, wills need to be changed as the marriage means they are revoked.

Martin Lewis did a useful piece about this on his itv show a couple of months ago.

This is one reason my partner and I are getting married after 16 years, we’ve never been fussed about it before but now he’s looked into it , if anything happens to one of us the other is protected legally as we have property and other things in our separate names . We’re both going on for 60 now and he’d feel happier if we got married .
I could possibly loose my home if he died first and his family decided to try to take it from me .

I am so sorry OP this sounds very difficult for you both. But yes I'd recommend getting married, without that legal tie it means you may lose access to benefits such as spouse pension benefits etc. Some things don't require marriage but some do, by doing this simple act you may just find it makes things easier at a time when you don't want things to be hard

OP, I'm so sorry.

When people say 'get legal/financial advice', why isn't this advice/information just available for everyone to use?

Why should you have to pay a solicitor hundreds just to get information that is about life?

Firstly I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time. With regards to marriage I would think that there could be pension implications. In your circumstances I would take legal advice.

Because there's no single answer.

The advantage is primarily in terms of inheritance tax paid. It depends how large the sum you’ll owe is, to say whether it’s worth it financially.

Any views about the emotional side can only be answered by the two of you.

best of luck - I’m sorry you’re facing this xx

but couldn't a flowchart/decision tree just find out what situation the person is in and give them the advice they need?

Yes this, I should have added it.

if you’re married and one partner dies first, then the child/children get the double allowance when the estate passes down on death of second parent

OP, sorry to hear that, and yes I think that getting married would be best for you.

Make new wills immediately in anticipation of marriage, your solicitor will know what to do. Also, check the beneficiaries on any pension or life insurance policies.

You are right that you would get the lump sum and bereavement allowance if you are married. You get more if you have small DC so it won't be the top rate, but it all helps.

Also ensure your property is 50/50 ownership. We did when we put our properties into a trust.
It meant if one had to go into care only 50% could be taken to pay.
We both left our 50% to our children with lifetime allowance to stay in our property

So sorry for your situation.

Does he have a pension as if you are married you’d get a widows pension. But you won’t if not (subject to rules of that pension).

Does he have a death in service benefit and are you his nominee?

Can you get POA, registered before you lose him as this gives you access to bank accounts that would otherwise be frozen.

Agree

There may be other advantages you haven't thought of

💐

I'm sure people can find general advice pretty easily on the internet, but there will be specifics to do with the age of children, blended families, guardianship arrangements for children, pension entitlement, life assurance, who should be executor, whose name is on the deeds and the mortgage, and all sorts of other minutiae that it may just be easier and more reassuring to talk through with a solicitor.

I'm so sorry, OP. Very best wishes for what lies ahead, whatever the two of you decide to do.

This information is readily available and easy to find

POA does not extend beyond death, and in any case OP says she has POA.

You can re-write your wills now “in contemplation of marriage”. If you get married and then re-write the wills there’s the risk that the worst could happen in the intervening time. That would only mean you inherited everything as his wife, but if he has other wishes they might be lost.

I an so sorry this is happening to you.

It is available.

But you have to know what you’re looking for. You have to understand it. You have to have the time and energy to read through it all and check you’ve fully understood all the implications.

Any pensions? The main reason my Mum and Stepdad got married when her cancer returned was because her pension paid out a lump sum to any spouse.