Partner terminally ill - should we get married?

[Butterbeanbutterbo]

My partner is terminally ill, probably now in final months of life, and we are considering getting married. We have been together over 20 years and have a now-adult child. What are the pros and cons of doing this? We know it would mean me being eligible for bereavement allowance once my partner dies. Also that we would have to change our wills to reflect the fact we’re married. Anything else we need to think about? Note we are below the inheritance tax threshold. I currently have power of attorney for health and finances.

Edited as I'm talking bollocks

Do get some legal advice for your circumstances, and sorry you are in this situation

Sometimes you do have to apply for probate even if married and the financials have been willed to you.

If the person had over £15k in premium bonds in their sole name as my DH did (and I also do) that means probate is needed. We also had things set up so that for the first of us to die their share of our properties will go into trust for each of our three DDs. That too requires probate as have some investments etc. that were above certain limits. We have had proper legal advice on this.

I arranged an at-home marriage for Thursday after visiting the Registrar on Tuesday. Our house had a temporary licence as a wedding venue.

Probate (or Confirmation in Scotland) depends on the value of the estate, not whether you're married or not.

All Powers of Attorney terminate on death.

I'm so sorry you're in this position.

The admin after someone dies is tedious at best and challenging at worst, and it comes at a time when you're not really up for it. Being a widow rather than a former partner makes it much more straightforward. Believe me, you will need everything to be as straightforward as possible. I strongly suggest getting married for this reason alone, never mind any financial benefits.

I would also suggest making all your bank accounts joint as soon as you can. Then you will be able to continue to access them normally, instead of having to wait for the bank to confirm you are entiltled to them. If your bank isn't cooperative in making the existing account a joint one, then just use the bank switching service to swich the existing account to a new account with a different bank in joint names. They do all the admin for you.

Thinking of you and sending love.

Can I just make one further suggestion which I hope won't sound too tactless?

Does your partner have online banking or other accounts set up that he uses biometric security (fingerprint, eye or facial recognition etc.) to get into? If so discuss with him removing the biometric aspect and just reverting to other security such as a shared pin for now.

We had totally forgotten about this when my DH was ill and immediately ran up against problems after he had died. He had been a real dabbler in investments, stocks and shares etc. It was almost a hobby of his. We have had to have a solicitor (one who was dealing with the probate anyway) and a financial adviser to help us get around things as on some apps and websites DH's biometrics were still being demanded even after the institution had been informed of his death!! We just couldn't find a way round it and they could be very stubborn over it.

I think we've managed to put a stop to that runaround now but would suggest you consider taking the biometric level of security off for now so that it doesn't cause you issues in the future when you just won't need the hassle.

You can always set up your own biometric security once stuff has transferred to you at a later date.

Please. Get married. Lost my wife /best friend to cancer . That piece of paper made everything simpler.

One of the main benefits* is the right to inherit from your spouse if they die without a will.

Probate is also much simpler, less evidence required to complete the forms etc. Council home transfers are simpler.

Inheritance tax allowance transfers from first spouse to die to the second to die - it means your allowance increases to up to £1million.

This money saving expert blog on the legal/financial benefits of marriage may be useful.

If you do decide to marry, and as a Registrar I highly recommend it, do ring your local Register Office and talk to them, normally you and your partner's notice has to be given 28 days before you can marry, however a waiver can be applied for to allow you to marry sooner, he would need to be well enough to visit the Register Office, or alternatively if he is too unwell and has a letter from his Dr's, the Superintendent Registrar can apply for a Registrar General's licence and this means they can attend where he is currently (home/hospital/hospice) and take his notice (you would still attend the register office) once this is cleared by the General Register Office, normally the same day, the Registrars can attend and marry you. As a PP said we deal with this situation frequently. I highly recommend you redo your wills as any previous ones will be voided by your marriage. You can do a will in contemplation of marriage. Wishing you well.

Also I have just re read your original post and see you have a grown up daughter. Once married you can re register her birth so she can have a new birth certificate stating you are now married. You and your partner (husband) would both need to fill out and sign a 're-registration after marriage' form. You will need a copy of your marriage certificate, your child's original birth certificate and the signed and dated form, again your Register Office staff will help you out.

Next of kin has no legal status in the uk in terms of health.

What is needed here is power of attorney for health and welfare. I had this (as well as for finances) when my OH's condition deteriorated and the plan was to blue light him into hospital. I knew this was not what he would have wanted and, after talking with my DDs, I made the difficult decision to refuse this on his behalf. We chose for him to die in peace without heroic invasive interventions.

sorry to hear this. Future means when you also die, your husbands inheritance tax allowance can be used then. If not married this wouldn’t be the case so more IHT if estate is of the value. I really do think its worth doing it yes.

I agree.

I am sorry about this, it's very sad.

That's a very confusing way to explain the situation.

If you're married, when one partner dies and there is property (and other estate) that passes to the surviving partner without using the first partner's IHT allowance, then the unused allowance can be claimed by the surviving partner's estate on their death.

@Butterbeanbutterbo there is more to it than IHT. Being married will just make everything so much easier - as all the assets simply pass to you. You will also be able to claim Bereavement Allowance (as you say) and also widow's pension. Does your partner have an occupational pension? If so you would almost certainly be entitled to a widow's pension from that.

So all in all, yes there are lots of upsides to being married. I don't think there are any downsides - unless he has debt you don't know about?

Don't rely on marriage and intestacy in place of a will.

My Mother's brother did that then dropped dead at 60. Untangling the resultant mess with a deed of variation took a lot of time and not inconsiderable cash to lawyers.

Neither is probate done away with. Some stuff may pass by survivorship but I think Letters of Administration - effectively probate - will be required for transfer of assets etc.

Another pro/con is that if not married, organisations may only want to deal with the child as being the next of kin rather than the partner, as 'partner' has no legal standing - e.g. in registering the death, receiving any insurance / pension / death in service benefits.

Neither is probate done away with. Some stuff may pass by survivorship but I think Letters of Administration - effectively probate - will be required for transfer of assets etc.

Yes, any institution holding any assets will.probably want to see evidence that they are handing the assets over to the.right person. If no will, that is Letters of Administration.

As a general point, when dealing with any financial institution, utility company, etc, always ask to speak to the bereavement department. They will be able to guide you through the process, and people I know who have used bereavement services in different places have said they were kind and sympathetic.

Oh God, definitely straight away

I’m so sorry, OP, but yes, you certainly should, for reasons already stated, and do please make new wills, which AFAIK can be written to apply after the date of your wedding. Wills made pre marriage will not be valid.

In the case of serious illness some solicitors will make a home visit for the purpose of making a will. This happened in the case of a friend of ours who was terminally ill and had changed his mind about who to leave what to.

Because people's circumstances can be different.

There can be other things to think about, children / step children, even if no children involved people might want their share to go to neices and nephews or the cat and dog home the surviving partner could remarry someone else and that money end up in the pockets of people you don't know.

Because everyone’s situation is unique to them and everyone will want a different outcome regarding what happens when they die.

Be careful. Some pension arrangements have what is called a "death-bed marriage rule", which says you have to have been married for longer than 6 months in order to qualify for the spouse's death benefits.

You don’t have to change will on marriage, the previous would become invalid so might wish to, otherwise inheritance laws would intervene. Are you nominated for his pensions, life assurance etc. Do you co-own property and if so how? Do you/dc have poa as that may be needed sooner than later.

Need to check that but as there's (presumably) no partner benefit if unmarried it's not going to change advice given already.