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If you have a girl diagnosed with ADHD….

56 replies

readysetcake · 16/06/2026 13:58

Would you want my 10 yo DD assessed if she was your child and did the following things?

  • Difficulty concentrating and remaining focused on tasks, particularly if not interested.
  • Frequently failing to complete work.
  • Often trailing off mid-sentence and not completing stories or explanations.
  • Becoming easily distracted.
  • getting frustrated and down on herself for getting distracted or being slow.
  • Difficulty sustaining effort on tasks that require concentration.
  • School reports that she is distractible and often does not finish classroom tasks.
  • Becomes obsessed with things for a couple of weeks and does nothing else then drops it never to return
She experiences intense emotional reactions that seem too big for the trigger and has done so since early childhood. Examples include:
  • Frequent emotional outbursts when things do not go as expected.
  • Becoming overwhelmed by disappointment or frustration. Often claiming she wants to die.
  • Difficulty accepting criticism or correction.
  • Interpreting correction as rejection and saying things such as “You don’t love me” And “you hate me don’t you”. Or calling herself stupid and hitting herself.
  • Becoming distressed when things aren’t the way she wants them (her room is messy her bed cover is not just right, sand in her bed (on holiday))
  • Persistent negative self-talk
  • When upset, she often blames others and takes no responsibility and can turn very nasty.

there are other issues as well but the thread will go on too long. I’ve lost sight of what is “normal” and what needs further support. My biggest concern is going into comprehensive in just over a years time.

Does she sound like any other 10 year old that has ups and downs or like something else is going on and needs support?

I have a meeting with school Thursday and not sure how hard to push. She does have emotional outbursts at school and has been in emotional learning support so they recognise something. But obviously don’t want to pursue as they are so stretched.

OP posts:
namechangeforthispo · 20/06/2026 18:48

readysetcake · 16/06/2026 15:11

Thanks for the replies. The school is so reluctant to do anything, which is mainly coming from the local authority. The waiting list is so long they are just keeping referrals for the most extreme cases where kids disrupt school.
I am prepared to go private but would still like support of school

I would be weary of just listening to the schools take on this. Does your DD do any outside clubs/hobbies? Children can and do often mask at school.

At my DD parents evening in Y3 her teacher listed off a list of things she does which all pointed to ADHD in the classroom. She disagreed.

two years later, lots of school trauma and EBSNA DD was referred for assesment and QBTest. Her scores were off the charts.

She is now medicated and able to attend school as she once did! I can’t help but feel if I had been taken seriously when I mentioned it we may have been able to avoid all the problems that followed later.

Sweepyed · 20/06/2026 20:08

@namechangeforthispo
exactly the same. I knew my dd had adhd from age 4 but school were useless. Right down to forcing it to come to a qb even though i had such a list of school issues and by then thrown out of 2 clubs 1 specifically for talking too much…

noonames · 20/06/2026 20:14

I have a DD diagnosed at 17. Also in S Wales, we were lucky to be able to get a private assessment, the waiting list for assessment on the NHS here is 4-5 years.

To answer your question, yes I would be pushing hard for an assessment for her. Too many girls fall through the cracks because they’re not kicking off in the classroom and therefore not problematic enough to warrant attention. Our first port of call was the GP who told DD she couldn’t have ADHD because her GCSE results were too good and even if she did she should just think of it like a superpower. This to a 17 year old girl in crisis ffs.

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readysetcake · 20/06/2026 20:59

@noonames I can’t believe the GP said that! I hope your daughter is doing better now.

My DD has a massive meltdown in the car back from
her hobby today. We lift share so there are 4 kids in the car. Her younger brother and a younger girl
were being silly in the back screaming and she got overwhelmed. She had an apoplectic meltdown, taking her seatbelt off and threatened the girl. Had to pull over. There was no warning she bottled it up until the explosion. So really need to figure out a way for her to communicate things are getting too much.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice. Reading it all, and after today, has shown me we will need to go private and really get on top of helping her.

any tips for parenting ADHD girls that struggle with emotional regulation very much welcome and appreciated.

OP posts:
applecharlotte · 20/06/2026 21:13

what you've described sounds like my niece who has AuDHD and rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

Funkylights · 21/06/2026 00:12

I read up a lot but also realised my DD is unique. So helping her is a lot of observation and listening. Yr11 and she’s not unpopular but also not in the in crowd. She’s just socially awkward unless eg a sport

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