Daughter refused transvaginal scan because of virginity

[Fej]

Our eldest daughter (19) has been experiencing a women's health issue that has required further investigation. She has been trying to get all of this done rather quickly, as she will moving abroad soon. When she went to have scans done, she was asked if she has ever had sex. After this question was asked, she was apparently told that they wouldn't be doing the transvaginal ultrasound, as they do not do them on women who are virgins. DD was very upset. She felt humiliated because the woman seemed surprised when she said no and even made a comment that she does not see that often with young women nowadays. DD has told me that she will just lie if asked in the future. It saddens me that she feels she has to lie to receive better treatment.

AIBU for feeling that this seems a very antiquated and outdated policy? Are they not aware that being a virgin does not necessarily mean that a woman has an intact hymen? Not to be vulgar but tampons and masturbation do exist. You would think that medical professionals would be aware of this. Someone shouldn't be denied superior medical care because of their sexual activity or lack thereof. Our daughters deserve better.

This is true. My Daughter tried to get the pill via a service that offered to post them free after a telephone consultation. As soon as she said she isn't sexually active and it was for period regulation, they said they couldn't provide it and she had to see her GP. I now just pay for it.

Omg this almost happened to me! At age 23. I thought they were being ridiculous and I was completely fine with the trans vaginal (it's a medical procedure???). It was a bit shocking and painful and uncomfortable if I'm being honest but yeah I almost wasn't allowed to do it either. I would have preferred the abdominal ultrasound. The nurse by my side was saying I should have told them earlier, and that my virginity was for my "husband to take" 😳I was honestly shook.

So aside from straight teens and twenty somethings waiting for Mr Right, lifelong lesbians, asexual women and nuns can't access the full range of gyne healthcare either? Who the fuck cares if there's a hymen there or not. If a woman consents to have an ultrasound wand inserted in their vagina, why is that not enough?

If we haven't had anal sex should we be denied colonoscopies too?

Have you ever had a transvaginal scan?

How strange. I certainly had my first smear test beforehand 30 years ago.

Yes same here.

That's quite disturbing. By this policy quite a number of women wouldn't be able to get scans : a lot of young women, many lesbians for that matter. This must change.

I also had smears and one transvaginal ultrasound whilst I was still a virgin in the US. After coming back to the UK, I'm left feeling that we're behind them in many aspects when it comes to healthcare. This thread topic is just one example.

Just wanted to add a bit more reassurance to anyone having a trans vaginal scan - I had one for post-menopausal bleeding and it was no problem at all, despite the fact I have vaginal atrophy.

I have had a transvaginal exam and I think I would have found it pretty horrendous and very painful when I was a virgin. I can understand why they woupd want to offer alternatives- although the choice should always be with the patient.

I have had them, before and after becoming sexually active. I have barely felt anything each time. They put so much lube on the wand. They're much more accurate and detailed than abdominal.

The poster I was responding to has said on other threads that he is a man.

i don’t think men should have a say on transvaginal scans.

I don't think people complaining about how awful they are and saying that they don't think virgins would be able to tolerate one helps the situation at all. It's up to the individual. What is true for you may not be true for someone else.

There shouldn't be an outright ban or policy against it, though. Religious beliefs are personal and cannot be applied to everyone.

This absolutely.
And the amazing thing about a medical scan is that you can withdraw consent to it at any time. A virgin or a woman who's birthed ten kids can equally both hop up on that trolley and say "yes go ahead" to the wand wearing a condom. And amazingly, that woman can also say "Oh that's a bit too sore, please stop"
Women have this wonderful thing called a brain which we can use to make choices in our own best interests.

They are asking the wrong question then. I had used both tampons and vibrators before I lost my virginity. The question should be about whether their hymen has been broken, not whether they are a virgin. It's so frustrating that they're framing the question in such a misogynistic manner, it's not the 1890s.

When I worked in gynaecology as a HCA this was common practice. They didn’t do TVS on patients who were virgins. However the staff member should not have made any comment on it, that was unprofessional imo.

One of the trusts in that seems to be changing stance going by that.

But why not give that information to the patient and let them decide if they'd like to go ahead?
"if you have an intact hymen the wand may cause it to tear, causing some pain and bleeding. Would you like to proceed? If you consent, we can stop at any time"

I'd imagine that the blood is irrelevant to the quality of the scan and the hygiene of the procedure since there's going to be an amount of bodily fluid involved in any case, with obvious precautions taken.

It might be because the pill is provided as free contraception on the nhs but not free as medication.
If she sees the GP or rings back the service and says it’s also for contraception it would be free. Although I’m surprised they don’t want to check her blood pressure etc first.

I never had one about 10 years ago when I was in my late 30s because I'm a virgin, I did have an ultrasound. They were going to operate anyway because I had am 8cm ovarian cyst. I felt absolutely zero judgement from the nurses, the sonographers, or my surgeon.

Agree with this. I had a TV scan recently and it was nothing compared to some of the smear tests I’ve had! The situation is uncomfortable on a dignity level obviously, but it wasn’t remotely painful or even physically uncomfortable.

And yes to this, I was actively bleeding when I had the TV (much more so than tearing a hymen). I mentioned it beforehand and it was totally shrugged off, happens all the time, has no impact on what they can see and assess.

Yes, I actually agree.

I can understand them asking if she wanted to proceed because if she hasnt already broken her hymen she mignt choose not have it.

But to just decide for her and refuse her treatment is a disgrace. Your poor daughter OP, id pursue a 2nd opinion