Reasonable garden and music cut-off times for an 18th birthday party?

[Wigeon]

DD is having her 18th birthday party at home, jointly with a friend. They have invited 35 guests, I am guessing (hoping!) not everyone will come. We have a smallish garden so it's fairly close to our neighbours houses, both side neighbours and those at the end of the garden. We are semi-detached. The party is on a weeknight (and not a Friday).

Given it's the day after everyone finishes their A Levels, I think they will be a bit giddy and over excited.

What time would you tell them they have to come in from the garden? What time would you tell them the music inside needs to be turned right down? DD inevitably wants this as late as possible and obviously we want to be respectful of the neighbours. Although we barely ever have a noisy party, so this is a very rare occurrence.

I just worked an 18th last night and the music was still blaring at midnight- however I would say 11 should be the latest. If you want to be considerate of neighbours seeing as it is a school night I would say 10 for the music to be turned down. Night be worth sending out some notes to neighbours to say your intentions too.

In the UK?
law states 11pm, doesn’t it?

can it not be moved to a weekend?
I’d be a more forgiving neighbour if noise levels were high on a Friday/saturday vs midweek

I think if you talk to your neighbours and /or pop a note through the doors then midnight is ok. Explain to those whose houses you back onto, not just immediate.

If you don’t contact anyone or have any feedback then 11.

midnight, but say 11pm 😊Notes to all neighbours saying this will happen, apols for noise but we were all young once, it's the end of A levels yada yada, and it's a one off and garden will be empty at midnight.

I'd like to point out on behalf of my own neighbours that no music doesn't = quiet though. Once they are all excited (or drunk) the talking and yelling can go up and up regardless.

Then when they leave, the goodbyes are like they are never going to see each other again and every single car has 79 doors that must each be thoroughly slammed.

One of our neighbours had an 18th birthday party and the boy went to all houses and explained that the garden would be "shut" at 11pm and everyone would move inside. Party was over at 1am.

After the party he came again and delivered chocolates.

I find a personal note really helps neighbours being more accepting.

I'd have told them they need to have a weekend. However, midweek I'd say completely quiet and gone home by 11 at the very latest. If any of your neighbours have young children at school they may well be a bit grumpy, but your dd will have to deal with that if needed afterwards.

Brilliant description 😂

But as I said, we were all young and excitable and tipsy now and then ourselves, well at least I was!

Neighbours are usually ok about these things as long as they are given the courtesy of a heads up! Well normal neighbours I mean. 😊

Why on earth would you do this on a week day?

If your DD wants it to be as late as possible, why is she doing it on a weeknight (I assume that’s her choice rather than yours?)

I'm assuming the weeknight is the actual date the A levels finish. I think.

Surely they can wait a few days?!

11pm, people have to work in the morning. It's one-off to you, but other people have commutes, children, work commitments to honour the next day and need a good night's sleep. It's not the same as a weekend party, not at all.

Jesus your poor neighbours...id at least give them some warning.

I'd look to move to a weekend if impossible....

I'd start it early like 3 or 4 with.a view to getting them to piss off to a pub or for food about 9pm.
Maybe book somewhere fpr them to go on to....as pp mentioned no music does not equal no noise...

People will have children trying to sleep.

Depends on your neighbours and if they have small children, assuming they will also have work too.

I would say 11 is reasonable and let the neighbours know in advance. I would do what someone suggested above and take round some chocolate after to say thanks for putting up with it

So many po faces around these days. I suppose you were all saints back in the day. The excitement of the end of secondary education is something that happens on the day, not four days later. Get a life you killjoys, one night won't kill you. I'm old not young BTW but remember my youth with great fondness and my parents and neighbours for all the mad parties at end of term and over the Summer. Halcyon days.

Just hire a hall or other venue. Not fair on your neighbours if this is mid week. Even a weekend is unfair to families with young children. Even 9pm is too late to deal with over tired babies and children.

The problem is that we remember the wild house parties. I’m in my late 20s and would resent neighbours partying and keeping my toddler awake.

I wouldnt do on week night. Fri or saturday night minnight finish for 1.00 final clear out, ubers, is considered fine round here with notes beforehand to let know.

I'd be pissed off if anyone had a party Sun-Thurday night that went on much later than 11.

I’d say as a one off midnight is fine especially for the reasons given.
All part of living amongst people - give and take.

Your 'po face' is other people's respect for those living around them. We had a party to mark the end of our education - it was at the local rugby club on the weekend. My mum would never have let me have one in the house on a weeknight - everyone else around you doesn't have to suffer just for you to blow off steam for one night. As part of my education I was taught manners...

That might have been great for you, but probably not for anyone who was trying to get some sleep!

My own last day of secondary school was somewhat less eventful. I finished my last A-level exam, walked out of the exam hall, picked up my personal belongings from the 6th form common room and walked out. I don't recall seeing anyone else and there were no goodbyes. I simply walked home and that was that! A few weeks later, I found a job and started work.
Most of my generation were much the same, in my experience. There was no fanfare, no party, we just left school and started work.

Our neighbour recently did this but on a weekend with a note sent round to say it would end by 11pm. I put up with the noise because they said it would end at 11pm and it did. There's nothing worse than lying there not knowing if you are going to be disturbed till 2am or 3am. This was also a weekend but some of my neighbours do work on Saturdays and there are lots of toddlers around here. If you really can't do it on a weekend then 10.30pm is least disruptive and let the neighbours know. Ideally someone with a more secluded garden should be hosting.

It isn’t the end of secondary education. That happened a few weeks ago. It’s the end of exams. I’d certainly be more obliging about a party at the weekend, when most people don’t have work. If it has to be on a midweek day, I’d want them to be inside at 11 and I’d expect a warning beforehand too.

I expect most people will be accepting, especially if they know about it beforehand and can plan for it.

Whatever you decide, tell everyone, including further afield than you think as the bass really carries. Then stuck to it. 11 is better than midnight and make sure you are absolutely not dragging on.