Reasonable garden and music cut-off times for an 18th birthday party?

[Wigeon]

DD is having her 18th birthday party at home, jointly with a friend. They have invited 35 guests, I am guessing (hoping!) not everyone will come. We have a smallish garden so it's fairly close to our neighbours houses, both side neighbours and those at the end of the garden. We are semi-detached. The party is on a weeknight (and not a Friday).

Given it's the day after everyone finishes their A Levels, I think they will be a bit giddy and over excited.

What time would you tell them they have to come in from the garden? What time would you tell them the music inside needs to be turned right down? DD inevitably wants this as late as possible and obviously we want to be respectful of the neighbours. Although we barely ever have a noisy party, so this is a very rare occurrence.

With the neighbours notified:

Music down at 10
In at 10.30
Teenagers being teenagers that means Music down at 10.30 and in at 11.

They will have to be carefully supervised when they leave to keep noise down.

I think the idea that 35 have been invited and fewer will come is optimistic. There will be 45/50 @Wigeon be prepared.

Have plenty of buckets and bowls to hand - they aim better than into a plastic bag.

Your dd takes wine and cake to the affected neighbours the following day.

I still have the picture of DD leaning gently against the fridge for support after her A'Level party as the screen saver on my phone. Such happy days.

I would feel like this tbh. Move it to another venue. 35 people in a house with a smallish garden will be mayhem.

Was your party on a week night?

Yes turning the music off needs to be a consideration but having at least 35 (I predict more) drunk 17 and 18 year olds in a residential semi is not going to be quiet and the noise isn't going to stop at a time of your choosing and nothing you do is going to change that.

Midweek, that would drive me nuts, but I would seethe quietly. When I was a teen our parties were luckily at 'the friend with the house in the middle of nowhere' so there were fewer if any neighbors to annoy. I feel sorry for kids who don't have that friend.

If over 18 I’d encourage a club. They have students nights in the week. I would facilitate this if lifts needed.

Me too. Imagine thinking you can dictate how others use their property and enjoy their lives!

If it was every night I’d understand but it’s literally one night.

I think it was a Friday because they didn't all finish A'Levels on the same day. It was NOT at our house. I recall collecting DD from a Club!

11pm is a legal cut off after that neighbours can complain to council. I wouldn’t equal “ thank you for letting me know” to permission to dancing until 1 am so I would plan 10.45 cut off outside.
Our past neighbors (students house) had a midweek birthday party once. They were absolutely wild around 9.30 and I was nearly crying anticipating difficult night but they started tidying up at 10.45 and at 11.01 it was dead quiet. We even questioned if there was a party 😆

Yes to the detriment of others knowingly. So many other options to celebrate.

How do you know how that one night affects others?

If you’re that sensitive, sleep with ear plugs. I do, and they’re brilliant!

Why should I? Different if the noise was for uncontrollable reasons but this is planned disrespect

Thanks for further replies, I appreciate people sharing their thoughts. We can't move it to another date at this stage I'm afraid. We also can't shift the party to daytime as we are taking DD out for a booked birthday treat and won't be back til late afternoon.

DD is absolutely clear that anyone not invited is not allowed in, and that DH and I will chuck them out of she can't. So I'm sure that it will be fewer than 35 (possibly quite a lot fewer since IME teens are just a bit chaotic with diaries).

We will bring them in from the garden between 10 and 11pm (need to discuss with DH and DD exactly when). We will turn down the music inside too to be much quieter and it will be completely off by midnight. We will be on hand to make sure people are quiet and respectful when leaving.

I replied "thank you" to the message from the neighbours that we are attached to, saying they appreciated me letting them know etc (see my past post), and they put one of those emojis of a face with a party hat and blowing a party blower on my message. So I really don't think they are just being polite.

We never ever make more noise than the usual (mowing the lawn during the middle of the day, talking in the garden etc), this really is a one-off. It's helpful to know the range of views though.

Not for everyone it is. My son doesn't finish his a levels until 19th there are some next week as well.

I hope your DD has a lovely party.
One off noise wouldn’t bother me at all whatever day of the week it is.

Definitely let all your neighbours know in advance, stick to the cut off time of maybe half 10 for a weeknight, 11 for Sat nights. My neighbours a few doors down allowed their kids to have mega loud parties outside in the garden with loud music and drunken singing and yelling til 3 in the morning for years from the age of 17 and it made our lives hell. Think the parents would go away for the night and leave them to it, so didn't give a shit about everyone else's sleep. We'd do family parties for our own DCs special birthdays but always done and dusted by 11 and they'd just go on to a club if they wanted to carry on partying.

As a one off, as a neighbour, I would feel the same as yours and wish them a fantastic party!