Reasonable garden and music cut-off times for an 18th birthday party?

[Wigeon]

DD is having her 18th birthday party at home, jointly with a friend. They have invited 35 guests, I am guessing (hoping!) not everyone will come. We have a smallish garden so it's fairly close to our neighbours houses, both side neighbours and those at the end of the garden. We are semi-detached. The party is on a weeknight (and not a Friday).

Given it's the day after everyone finishes their A Levels, I think they will be a bit giddy and over excited.

What time would you tell them they have to come in from the garden? What time would you tell them the music inside needs to be turned right down? DD inevitably wants this as late as possible and obviously we want to be respectful of the neighbours. Although we barely ever have a noisy party, so this is a very rare occurrence.

In a semi detached on a weekday when people have school and work the next morning?! Come on OP - move it to the weekend or hire somewhere.

I'm sorry but like some others here, even if there was a letter through my door beforehand I wouldn't be happy at being forced to lose sleep through other people's choices. Years ago I still remember I had a really important day at work including travel to a conference that meant I had to get up at 4:30am to travel. My next door neighbours had a house party the night before, music went on past midnight and I was so exhausted I didn't feel safe to drive. I'm sorry OP, I know it's your dd's birthday but it feels really selfish to inflict such a big party in a residential road in the middle of the week. Is there no way you can find and hire a venue at this point? I'd be worried that this may rupture a lot of relationships between you and neighbours.

As others have pointed out, the legal limit in the UK for excessive noise is 11pm. After that people can log it with councils and the police as anti-social behaviour.

I agree too & don’t care if I’m a killjoy id phone 101 after 11.

Thank you for all the replies. I have to say I was wondering whether I needed to get them inside at 10pm with the noise right down, so it's interesting that some people are saying 11pm. I appreciate that others are saying not at all though...

Regarding why we haven't hired a venue: some of the attendees are 17 (nearly 18) and a venue wouldn't serve them alcohol. Whilst I would rather DD and friends were teetotal til at least 25 that's just not the reality. We can legally give 17 yr olds alcohol at home though (legally from the age of five in fact, amazingly.)

It really won't be more like 40, we have a strict rule with DD that anyone not invited isn't allowed in (and we will be at home hiding away but on hand to ensure anyone not invited leaves). I also think it's highly unlikely that everyone invited comes because teens are notorious unreliable and ditzy. However I appreciate that 30 people is still a lot.

I messaged both immediate neighbours earlier today and one side says "No problem at all [Wigeon], As you said lots to celebrate.Thank you for informing us." The other side have also said thanks for letting them know, they have a teen DD (who isn't doing GCSEs).

Re final day of A Levels - previous posters are right that the 18th is the last day, I got that mistaken that the 17th is the last day.

Bloody hell...you are all generous...I'd say 10pm and all inside by then! 🤣

Hmm... I think the music needs to be turned right down from the start and off by 10pm. But planning any music outside is pretty disrespectful to the neighbours. Can't the music be inside and people can just mill outside if they want? It will make a huge difference to how much carries

One off or one. Yaar 11pm.and let neighbours know. Enjoy !!

I honestly would not mind this at all for an otherwise courteous family/ neighbour. I hope she has a great time!

Op I had to endure endless music and noise from a run of disrespwctful dreadful hmo people so 11pm with notice one off us more than considerste

Absolutely. It's a one off. It's not as if it's week after week of it and we were all young once.

Enjoy the party xx

In all fairness to your neighbours they don't really have much choice.

If they had said they were not happy with 30+ people in a semi detached house having a party then what difference would it make to the situation if they said they were not happy.

You're not going to change the party location or date so they're basically stuck saying it's ok.

It might not be the end of a Neighbours exams! Mid week is really selfish. 10pm absolute latest for
party to end.
Weekend 11pm.

11pm and pre-warn the neighbours.

9pm at latest for people being outside, 10pm everyone leaving to go home.

And your neighbours aren't ok with it on a weeknight, they are just being polite.

Good for you for informing your neighbours. My neighbour didn’t tell us - the worst thing was not knowing when it was going to end. We’d also have gone out had we known.

I would say 10pm for mid week. I could tolerate midnight on a Fri or Sat but up at 6am for school run and work I would not be happy any later if mid week.

As someone said, even with music stopped it'll be noisy with drunken squeals, hyper and then the zillion byes and hugs, car doors, engines running whilst they do the good byes.

Ideally move to a weekend. And I was a party girl back in the day but never mid week.

Id oblige more st the weekend. Mid week I think indoors by 10.30pm. Weekend as a one off id put up without outside with a reasonable noise level to around 1am. I have 2 young children. .n̈

Think you've nailed it OP, and I think you are really considerate ensuring it isn't too late for a weeknight and that you have let your neighbours know. You didn't have to do either of those things.

The worst thing about noise stopping you from sleeping is not knowing when it will end.

Don't be fooled by your neighbour's polite responses. No one will like this on a week night but they have realised they have no choice. Please make sure you stick to your timings and ideally, move them inside at 10pm. The fact that you are enquiring about how reasonable it is yourself shows you have your own doubts and don't want to be a nuisance so be vigilant.

I would post notes though the possibly affected houses saying what it is and if you want give mobile number so they can message? Maybe
10pm music down
11pm-midnight in from garden depending on how loud they are but then
in house low music not too giddy - 2am

It is a one off
But it is a weekday

So more considerate compromise needed in terms of late night noise than on a weekend.

Best idea to start as early as they can
Hooefulky they will be shattered by midnight!

Oh an expect to be slated on the local Facebook pages

9pm.

It is incredibly selfish to let them be noisy outside at night. You have no idea if your neighbours have a job interview the next day, a career defining presentation, a funeral of a loved one or will be getting news on whether their chemo worked the next day. They don’t want to be stressed and tired too. I need to get to sleep by 9.30, I’d be shattered if I was kept up till 11 by a noisy party.

mumsnet does make me laugh.

that’s your responsibility. Get some earplugs.

Honestly it’s just so so selfish. I despair of people.