Reasonable garden and music cut-off times for an 18th birthday party?

[Wigeon]

DD is having her 18th birthday party at home, jointly with a friend. They have invited 35 guests, I am guessing (hoping!) not everyone will come. We have a smallish garden so it's fairly close to our neighbours houses, both side neighbours and those at the end of the garden. We are semi-detached. The party is on a weeknight (and not a Friday).

Given it's the day after everyone finishes their A Levels, I think they will be a bit giddy and over excited.

What time would you tell them they have to come in from the garden? What time would you tell them the music inside needs to be turned right down? DD inevitably wants this as late as possible and obviously we want to be respectful of the neighbours. Although we barely ever have a noisy party, so this is a very rare occurrence.

I’d be more tolerant if Fri/sat. I know it’s a one off/all young once yada yada but I’d still be annoyed at a loud party mid week. Kids, school, work etc. so I’d prob say 11 for the noise to be dropped significantly.

Why does it have to be late night? I think aPP suggested 2-9pm then move indoors. That's seems ok, still annoying for neighbours who need to be in bed earlier for school/ work the next day and still inherently selfish but at least you can be done at a time people will still be able to get a decent amount of sleep. Also make sure when the move inside that music isn't too loud that it still disturbs immediate neighbours and that they are quiet and respectful when leaving. Anyone who isn't won't be invited again and DD won't be having another such party.

If DD is insisting on a midweek party she has to accept that it comes with more restrictions on time and noise because other people have lives that mean they need to go to bed before midnight. The same is true at weekends too but for fewer people.

We have done this and I made DC go to the neighbours likely to be affected and explain it was a birthday party and they would be indoors with the noise down by midnight. The neighbours were fine sand appreciated the heads up.

But ours was a Saturday. No way I’d do it on a weeknight as even if adults are ok with 11, there’s kids affected who have to get up for school.

It doesn’t work like that now.

I agree with others I cannot imagine approximately 40 people in a not very large suburban garden and traipsing in and out the house for the toilet and more drinks. The music would be the least of my concerns your poor neighbours will be disturbed even without music. I'm really surprised you didn't hire a venue.

On a weeknight, by 10pm I’d be packing everyone off home. Not the least because I’d want to clean up and go to bed. If you want later than that, then hire a venue. Note around to all the neighbours to let them know the time and stick to it. Biscuits or chocolates around after to say thanks for understanding.

This. Be very kind to the neighbours,possible take round some birthday cake because it'll be really noisy with 35 teens!

DD did the same in the last day of her GCSEs with a big friend group of about 40’people. People arrived from 6ish, music god turned down at 10:30 and then off altogether at 11 then inside/lifts from 11:30.

was a blast, neighbours were cool with it.

Maybe for you, but others have children who need toget to bed early and jobs to go to!

Have all your neighbours finished exams, does everyone work, are there young kids...

Lots of factors. Week days I could just about cope, as long as it wasn't noisy and I had no exams, weekends, I would be partying with them

I really wouldn’t object at all. Presumably it’s a one-off. Let them just enjoy themselves until the party reaches its natural
end but pre-warning the neighbours is always a good idea.

11pm for outside but the party can continue on inside! 🍾

Me too. I would be ringing the police if there were large numbers in the garden and music blaring. I don't think that is acceptable at 10 in a semi, let alone midnight.

What about the poor neighbours who share a wall with the OP?

Almost 40 teens (possibly more) inside playing music, drinking, shouting, giggling, squealing until goodness knows when is beyond selfish.

A level exams finish a few days before GCSE exams. What time would you be happy for a neighbour to loudly party to the night before your DD's last exam?

11 at the latest but 10 would be more considerate

It's a one-off special birthday so if I was the neighbour and have been advised on what's happening, I'd be OK with it.

11pm and send notes.

Surely the point is you don't really have much choice though. What if you're not ok with it? Let's not pretend it's not going to be incredibly loud. 40 odd people in a house is going to disturb your neighbours and even as a one off it's unfair to inflict it on them.

My kids parties at home have always gone on til well into the early hours. By 11pm, they feel like it’s only just getting going.

If your neighbours will be unhappy, hire a venue.

But do you live in a semi detached, like the OP?

18th house party on a weeknight is wild 😂 I’d have considered hiring a venue instead

OP do you know, for absolute certain, that none of the affected neighbours have children sitting GCSEs who might be impacted by this? Because if there are any such, this really would be the last word in selfishness.

(To be clear, I'd hate it either way if I were your neighbour but would probably be grudgingly tolerant of a one-off)

Was that on a week night like the OP is proposing? I presume those neighbours who joined you didn’t have to get up for work at 6!

No, we don’t have neighbours, which is why I said OP should hire a venue.