Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Dozymoo42 · 30/06/2026 12:39

TeaAndStrumpets · 30/06/2026 06:57

Morning all!

I woke up with a racing heart again so my PEM is ramping up. It is so boring conserving energy but I know I have to rest. This always happens when I overdo things, it's like driving a bit too fast and getting a speeding ticket the next week!

@Dozymoo42 I only had DDs but having 3 DGS has been such fun. DD1 finds them very entertaining, although they are not very houseproud to say the least.
Her 12 yo youngest is covered in mud before he even gets to school because he and his friend take a 'short cut' involving a hedge and a ditch.

Love this! My mum used to say to me “a mucky child is a happy one” 🥰

Dozymoo42 · 30/06/2026 12:41

Bit of a rough day today first bad one in a while, woke up in a crash so looks like a bed day for me. Just glad the heat has broken cannot imagine anything worse than feeling how I do today coupled with last weeks heat! 😞

MewithME · 30/06/2026 13:02

I've never even tried for PIP. I don't think I'd get it from everything I've read.

It's hard to understand though because I see some of my friends who do get it and they manage work and concerts and nights out and all sorts. I don't get how it works.

It should be so much easier for people like you @Oioiqueen.

I totally understand how much we wrap ourselves up with work as an identity. I want to try to get away from that.

OP posts:
TeaAndStrumpets · 30/06/2026 13:12

Dozymoo42 · 30/06/2026 12:39

Love this! My mum used to say to me “a mucky child is a happy one” 🥰

Oh this one takes it to new heights, he's always surrounded by grime and disorder. His Mum painted the walls in lovely eco friendly clay paint and there is a sort of tidemark where the boys have run their hands along. She's looking into marble paint you can scrub! The funniest thing was one day she asked dgs3 if she should offer his friend a lift and he was horrified because the car was so messy....all made by him of course 🙄

My battery is so run down today.

martha79 · 30/06/2026 14:17

Afternoon! Had a last minute lunchtime flat viewing and have just put down a holding deposit. Fingers crossed everything goes through ok and they don't have a sudden change of mind 🤞

I have also got public transport home for the first time this year!

Thinking of you all with the PIP applications, I've seen friends do them and it's a horrible process.

Oioiqueen · 30/06/2026 15:22

@TodayIsatrickyone I don't get fast track as I'm deemed to live longer than 12 months. Whilst a pain waiting I'm kind of grateful that it isn't having to be fast tracked. I hear you on having to give up work it's so tricky to know what to do for the best. Thank you for sharing your experience, given me food for thought.

@MewithME you might be surprised to what you could get 'points' for. Thing is you wouldn't know much by looking at me until I've got the bone crushing fatigue that we all have, the forgetting what I'm saying mid sentence and neuropathy in my hands.

Swanhilde · 30/06/2026 17:21

I was very surprised that I was awarded PIP first time @MewithME as I had read how hard it was too, but at the time my then employers were threatening me with capability and, as I was, I didn't know if I'd ever be able to work again.

It's all about how your condition affects you and not what your condition is. The form is horrible and took me about a week to fill in in chunks. But the telephone assessment was fine and the woman was very understanding. I was honest and explained that I still worked, but had had to reduce my hours, and that I could walk or drive short distances. But I also explained the effect that these everyday things have on me, things that others take for granted.

If you have the headspace, it's worth a shot 🤞

Dozymoo42 · 30/06/2026 17:33

Awww they are funny aren’t they @TeaAndStrumpets my DS is 22 But still mucky with his job and still has a habit of forgetting himself and touching the walls!
Hope you have been resting!

amazing news @martha79 everything is crossed for you 🤞

@SwanhildeNice to hear a positive PIP story for a change! I’m also filling forms in after my family insisted I apply but I had it in my head I wouldn’t get the award and that it was pointless. 😞

TodayIsatrickyone · 30/06/2026 17:51

Great news @martha79

Tiredandwired2 · 30/06/2026 19:40

@Swanhilde I had a letter saying mine is extended until 2028 too so they must be sending them out to a few.

I also got PIP on my first application. I did have years of doing DS DLA though so that helped. My friend has applied recently though and has had to appeal. It's so unfair and such a postcode lottery.

I considered the PIP assessor role for a less clinical role but I can not do It. It would feel like I was selling my sole.

@martha79 well done on the house.

Struggling to remember the others posts I have read now. Brains stopped working because as I was writing this I have DD have a mini crisis, DS getting verbally aggressive and slamming doors which is triggering DD more and exH telling me he is bring the kids home 2 hours early on Saturday which means I have to change my plans. Happy days. Think I will head to bed with my book!

Oioiqueen · 30/06/2026 22:31

@Tiredandwired2 sending hugs. It's hard when the kids play off each other. Mine make me so frazzled.

Tiredandwired2 · 01/07/2026 09:47

Oioiqueen · 30/06/2026 22:31

@Tiredandwired2 sending hugs. It's hard when the kids play off each other. Mine make me so frazzled.

Thank you @Oioiqueen today is a new day and I can see I was rather hormonal yesterday 🙈

Just re-read the thread a bit to catch up and hope you can make a decision about work. It must be a hard one to make

TodayIsatrickyone · 01/07/2026 10:01

Morning all

Awake early with mind whirring today and wiped out after a bit of a wait at the hospital yesterday.

It wasn’t the best appointment tbh, got a registrar who didn’t have the best bed side manner and was a bit blunt in his delivery. Long story short but whilst my main condition is stable, I still need another scan for a secondary condition as if that worsens, I would need surgery.

I was hoping for some reassurance and now I’m back waiting for another test and the results which will be around 6 weeks. Bit frustrating as this should have been done before I saw him but wasn’t requested so yet more waiting.

He did agree when DH asked that I was medically fit to travel next week as showing no symptoms and also drive again when I feel ready stroke recovery wise 👏

I need to just try and enjoy the change of scene a holiday will bring and put it out of my mind til I actually know the results. It could very well be no change but my mind immediately went into ‘what if…’ mode.

Just feels like weve waited over 2 years for this holiday and now it’s being overshadowed by more health worries so feeling a bit down today 😕

danglethedingle · 01/07/2026 10:20

@martha79 everything crossed for you getting the flat, it must be horrible feeling insecure in your housing. I know that is a reality for loads of people nowadays. I was incredibly lucky to get a proper council flat when I had 2 little ones, the relief was immense having a secure tenancy. I don't think they exist in the same way nowadays, which is a terrible shame. I loved my little flat, we all started sleeping better once we had our own place and could put down roots.

I've never applied for PIP, I looked at it, and on paper I should get it. But I have heard how hard the assessment process is and decided not to bother. I have a small work pension, and DH has a couple of pensions, so we can manage. I know we are lucky to be able to choose not to have the stress of applying though.

It was a hospital day for DH yesterday, a cardiology review following his latest stents going in. I think he must be more stent than artery by now. They were very pleased with him, which was a relief. There are roadworks between us and the hospital that will go on until next spring, so we decided to go the very long way round rather than sit in traffic in the heat. It was a good decision, and quite an enjoyable trip in all honesty. We said we would count it as a 'date night' as we bought a coffee at the hospital. 😁

Dozymoo42 · 01/07/2026 11:25

Thinking of you @TodayIsatrickyone I'm
so glad you can still go on your holiday, sorry yesterday wasn’t a good one for you I think beside manner is so important especially when delivering news that has that much of an impact on someone 💐

@danglethedingle love the date night with the coffee we take our romance where we can get it with chronic illness 😊

@Tiredandwired2 Hope the kids settled down and you enjoyed your book!

Another day resting in bed for me might pop a film on or just listen to an audiobook- I keep falling asleep and losing my place though 🤣

Hope everyone has a nice gentle day

JewelleryCat · 01/07/2026 11:26

I have an Ocado delivery very shortly and just to let you all know that it’s the cherry van again lol

TodayIsatrickyone · 01/07/2026 11:33

That’s made me smile @JewelleryCat 😊 Come on Ocado, jewellery cat needs a change of van!

TodayIsatrickyone · 01/07/2026 11:49

Thanks @Dozymoo42 I did misunderstand when he was talking about this other condition being more of a worry and took his word literally and started to worry! He did apologise as he could see I started to panic and say he didn’t express it well. I’ve got try and put it to the back of my mind til I get the results I guess. Just been a tough year health wise with one thing after another.

JewelleryCat · 01/07/2026 12:09

TodayIsatrickyone · 01/07/2026 11:33

That’s made me smile @JewelleryCat 😊 Come on Ocado, jewellery cat needs a change of van!

I’m glad I’ve made you smile with all you have going on. I don’t think I’ve made anyone smile apart from family lol

martha79 · 01/07/2026 12:24

Popping in quickly to say thanks for all the good wishes on the flat - I just signed the contract!

Will catch up properly later, apparently I'm supposed to be working...

TeaAndStrumpets · 01/07/2026 12:37

Dozymoo42 · 01/07/2026 11:16

@TeaAndStrumpets not sure if you have insta or not but I just saw a reel and thought of the convo we had re boys and it made me chuckle lol https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaB5alcPk7T/?igsh=MTk4ZjVraG9oM3hsNQ==

Thanks..really winced but it is so true!

TeaAndStrumpets · 01/07/2026 12:41

TodayIsatrickyone · 01/07/2026 11:49

Thanks @Dozymoo42 I did misunderstand when he was talking about this other condition being more of a worry and took his word literally and started to worry! He did apologise as he could see I started to panic and say he didn’t express it well. I’ve got try and put it to the back of my mind til I get the results I guess. Just been a tough year health wise with one thing after another.

Hope your holiday wipes away your cares!

CoffeeBeansGalore · 01/07/2026 12:41

@TodayIsatrickyone sorry your junior was a bit brusque. Sometimes I think they forget that there is an actual person with feelings behind the case notes. They've read the books and reports but we're actually living it.

I hope this will make you laugh.
I used to temp as a medical secretary, often in a dept for a few months at a time.
It was late afternoon & I was quietly audio typing alone at the corner desk in my consultant's office. He dealt with bowel, gastro type cases. I noticed 2 juniors come in & sit at the other side of the room with no acknowledgement. I'd stopped typing to read back through a paragraph and so it was silent.
I heard one groan & say to the other - ugh tell you what, you look at my arse and I'll get the sandwiches.
I turned to look at them whilst removing my headphones & raised an eyebrow.
They almost jumped as they realised I was there, the look on their faces as they realised how that sounded.
Stutters, embarassed um err umm that's not how it sounded. And couldn't get out quick enough as I started laughing.

That job definitely had it's moments!

CoffeeBeansGalore · 01/07/2026 12:46

@martha79 that's fantastic 🥳🥳🥳
So pleased for you!