Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Wouldn't you want to know this kind of information before hiring a tutor though?

This is a good shout!

Why the fuck didn’t one of you just talk to her then?

Absolutely insane that there is now a culture of people expecting and demanding good reviews only. To the extent that they are excusing really wild and threatening behaviour from someone who works alone with children. Everyone blithering about her livelihood - she runs a service, advertises publicly, she’s not owed the custom and gratitude of people paying her to do her job. Do you never check reviews of tutors, plumbers, cleaners, the local cake shop, cafes, or anything? How do you avoid getting ripped off or worse if you think that honest reviews are so shocking and devastating? On a review site you would expect to see a mix of opinions, it doesn’t devastate anyone’s career to get one negative review in among good ones, and if they have enough negative reviews to affe t their business then they probably need a career change for everyone’s sake

I'd love to know exactly what was said in the review, and whether OP shared any personal information that arose during the phone call before it – like whether she was refused a refund. You don't lose your shit like the tutor did, threatening to go to the police for slander and go round to someone's house late at night, unless someone has written something really disparaging about you, like calling you a liar.

I'm afraid some of this is circulating in my mind.

Clearly the response was out of order on the tutor's part - but what occasions that kind of huge reaction? If Op was happy to share that she simply said the tutor was disorganised, or whatever, then I'd probably say the tutor mightily overreacted .

BUT the OP is adamant she will not disclose what she posted - despite it being, in theory, published anyway, so why not include it in a query as to how reasonable she has been?

And the tutor has other good reviews.

So taken together - the other decent reviews, the OTT reaction and the OP's sealed lips on what was actually said - like @EmmaIsOn, I am having trouble knowing if the OP is reasonable or not. Clearly the tutor doesn't come out well, but maybe they both don't?

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

This feels very extreme for an 11/12 year old. Makes me doubt the whole story tbh.

Yes the 12 year olds I know would be fascinated! 😂

You need to update your review to include this information and include images from your ring camera and text message/missed call screen shots.

From your previous post, it’s clear that she intimidates any negative review posters into removing them and the consequences of not doing that are what she did to you last night.

As a parent, I would absolutely need information from your experience to ensure that I never let someone like that near my child, she is not safe.

Don't be so stupid. She was hysterically crying, banging on the windows. It would be enough to scare anyone.

I really wouldn't update the review with the latest happenings. It's not because she doesn't deserve it or other people don't deserve to know. I just wouldn't put myself or my family at any further risk by escalating the situation. I think the LADO would be concerned about this tutor's behaviour.

I also second the LADO suggestion. Something not quite right here.

What information we have no idea how fair or unfair the review was. Op was happy to use her for a while year

No which is why i wouldn't piss her off further it sounds like a netflix documentary in the making. I like to be able to sleep at night without worrying someone is going to petrol bomb my house

I think this was very mean of you after you had used her services for a year. But the tutor's behaviour wasn't good. Still it was her liveliehood at stake.

taken together - the other decent reviews, the OTT reaction and the OP's sealed lips on what was actually said - like , I am having trouble knowing if the OP is reasonable or not. Clearly the tutor doesn't come out well, but maybe they both don't?

my thoughts exactly

What did you say about her.

Did you try to make her give you money?

OP if you just wrote about your experience about communication and transparency and timelines it is indeed odd that the tutor threatened to contact the police. She said that she’d call the police before you actually did call the police.
This seems far more fraught than a review as you described it - it wouldn’t even have time to make a dent in her business as you say you put it up so recently and she came around almost immediately.
Whatever you do next writing another comment is clearly not wise.
Nor is sharing her image or calls - don’t expose yourself to harassment or other kinds of legal avenues.
Raise your concerns with regulators or safeguarding leaders in the organisation but stay away from committing anything in writing that isn’t so easy to erase.

Is she a qualified teacher do you know?

Is she aware that you phoned the police? So she knows it’s serious now and she should stop harassing you?

You call the OP vindictive and petty and then write that? Lol.

I'm glad OP is paying no heed to these ridiculous replies. Update your review or post a new one with the new facts so other parents and children are warned.

I know how you feel.

This from the first post:

My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door ...

... She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company

Also:

I emailed and spoke to the head regarding my concerns and they were effectively dismissed.

I guess this means that the same woman who came to the door is the tutor who is the Head who runs the company who is the teacher who came to the door.

Surprisingly enough, OP is a genuine poster, and this isn't her first thread about leaving online complaints, turns out.

Our Son attended group tutoring sessions before taking the exam. The group sessions were aimed at covering any gaps in knowledge and showing them how the specific exams were laid out.
We don’t have any grammars close by and our eldest child attends a ‘normal’ secondary school but our middle son wanted to try for a grammar after hearing about the sports that were offered.
The whole process was quite eye opening, some children are heavily tutored 1:1, attend holiday camps and start it in year 4!
Out of the group our son was in, half passed the exam and were offered a place. I’ve never understood the point of tutoring heavily for it, because then surely a child will struggle to keep up, or maybe they have tutoring throughout..
Its all a bit nuts tbh and the pressure some kids are under is massive.
The head teacher showing us around the grammar said that no one needed tutoring, you either knew the stuff or you didn’t and just suggested printing off a few old exams so they knew how to fill them in, but then if you don’t do any tutoring you feel like you’re not doing what you should be… I’m glad I won’t have to do it again 😂

What did your review say?