Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

I'm not sure where to go with this, as it sounds deeply concerning behaviour on her part.
I would update your review to reflect her behaviour.
Can you log a complaint with the police to lie on file?
I see that she runs the business, so it's possibly difficult to complain, as she will ignore it. If she belongs to a professional body, it could be worth contacting them to report her behaviour.
Am also not sure if you can/should report her behaviour to the LADO.
Could also be worth contacting the ico https://share.google/cDiqSIhojte4FjkMx
As she has misused your data - ie turning up at your home address, to intimate you, when presumably she should only has your address for invoicing purposes.

She didn’t “use” her for a year she paid for a service which she discovered to either be fraudulent in some sense or inadequate or improper or unsafe which could easily happen. The duration of the service period doesn’t mean that the service which was paid for not free was fine just that OP didn’t know it was problematic. She didn’t demand a refund, btw, she just left an honest review.

Thank God my parents never found out about them!

I'm baffled that people cannot imagine a scenario in which you could wish to change tutors after a year!

Failing to cover the correct elements for the specific test;
Failing to inform parents of a lack of progress that might point to a requirement for additional support;
Failing to ascertain the level of the child's understanding and teaching above or below their ability level;
Not having the qualifications they purported to have;
Not having the pass rate they advertised;

Nobody would say that a business couldn't fire someone after a year if their performance failed to meet the expected standard or if it turned out they had lied on their application - why is it so hard to imagine an equivalent scenario with a tutor?!

As it stands, it seems likely that an individual who responds this aggressively to a single negative review is probably not smashing it in every other area of their life.

I find it much easier to believe that someone who behaves like that is an inappropriate choice for a tutor than that the OP has done something so untoward that this reaction is proportionate. 🤔

I’d be putting on another google review outlining her recent behaviours. She deserves her business to tank.

I tried to complain to my dentist and got a swift rebuttal. They tried to sell me more work! Don’t quote and promise something which you then go back on. My mum recommended them too and I’d been there before countless times. Not now.

So she had legitimate access to your address @Booyou123 , but the way she chose to use it was highly inappropriate. If she has such a big organisation, it's even more mystifying that she went ballistic over one negative review.

I know you're not going to quote your review here, obviously. Did you simply state facts? Obviously what you cannot do is discourage other people from using her or imply she's untrustworthy. Had you done those things that could impact her business, she could have had the review removed.

Why is it cheating?
Tutoring will help but only if a dc is bright enough to understand the questions and work out the answers.

Surely speed will be the only real advantage

That's sounds like a good scheme.

I'd update your review to include her turning up to your house, frightening your children and that you had to call the police.

There's absolutely no excuse for that.

I don’t think having a tutor is unfair as no teacher in a class of thirty can give every child exactly the attention they need.

my dd had a maths tutor online for about ten sessions before gcse as her confidence was so low and I was worried that it would prevent her showing what she could do in her exam.
it was exactly what she needed and her mark reflected her work and her ability.

Classroom teachers don’t have the time to do this one to one reassurance and confidence building

Agree. There's something in the water here today because everything I'm reading is bonkers. Practically every service has some bad reviews, it's not a disaster. Turning up at ex-client's houses at night suggests a lack of balance that I wouldn't want to risk around my children (theoretical as they are adults now).

@SouthLondonMum22 I do think I should but I’m so scared of a further escalated response from her.

I am also worried about me not escalating, letting her get away with it, and then letting someone who is potentially unsafe with children continue to run a business?

I remember once in a parents meeting with 15 other parents, she said we always try our best for the children and work incredibly hard. Someone once tried to write a bad review but once I spoke to her she took it down. People know that we are genuine.

A bit odd to share that.

Her reaction was obviously out of order but people really need to think a lot more before slating people online especially when this can have a significant impact on their livelihood

Not if the exam contains elements that aren’t covered by the curriculum. As I recall the ancient 11+ consisted of a maths paper, a verbal reasoning one, an English language one and an essay. I remember the essay paper vividly - you were stranded on a desert island with a variety of items and you had to write a story including how you used all the items. I started a fire with my magnifying glass, can’t remember the rest.

I'd contact the LADO if I'm honest.

😆

@Booyou123 this thread is insane, as is your ranting tutor. Dare I ask, have you cancelled the cheque ...!!

I worked with someone who sounds exactly like this woman! She was charging London parents up to £100 per hour for 11+ whilst being on long-term sick at her main job. This is definitely the sort of thing she would do! My only advice is to leave her alone- for your own sake! She sounds very unstable.

Yeah really piss off the unhinged person who knows your address thats great advice

Is there any reason you can't you tutor your son yourself through the process if you already teach primary?

That aside, you keep mentioning you phoned and emailed her before you posted your review. What was so dissatisfactory about her response in that call you persisted with it? Did she refuse to give you a refund on sessions?

In the current climate, one bad review can tank a business that someone has spent years building up. As a teacher you must appreciate the precariousness – one egregious complaint against you and you'd face a gross misconduct/Teacher Standards hearing. That in no way excuses her coming to your home, but clearly after receiving no reply to her pleas, she lost the plot. At least she has now realised she made a terrible mistake and won't repeat it.

But maybe have some compassion for someone who spent a year tutoring your child only to be told she was crap. On a side note, as a teacher, how did you not realise her tutoring wasn't up to scratch long before the year was up???

Rolling over and allowing someone to treat me like that and frighten my DC isn't my style.

I'd also want other families to know about her behaviour. Would you want someone around your DC if they had behaved like that?

Or when you’re honest with parents they fire you. Can’t win either way.

I'd be contacting the LADO

I posted the review 6pm in the evening last night. She called myself, my husband my sister in law multiple times with threats of taking us to the police. She turned up at 9:45am banging on doors and windows. This all happened in 3 hours 45 minutes.

As a teacher, I completely understand how precarious working with children is, however her response is completely disproportionate, and really questions her suitability to be working in such a profession.