Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Oh, so thats how tutoring buissnesses keep their 5 stars lol

I think one should always try and resolve issues directly with a service provider especially a small business first before plastering concerns on the internet. If they don’t resolve or address these concerns satisfactorily then fair enough to go public. One bad review can totally destroy someone’s reputation and business. The question is: what are bad reviews for? To get redress / compensation for a poor service or to destroy someone’s reputation ? If it’s the former why not contact them directly? If it’s the latter then I guess throw mud at someone’s reputation.

Clearly you’re not a teacher, you can’t even read!

I would be pressing the police to at least contact this woman and warn her that this behaviour is not ok.

If this centre is part of a national Maths tutoring franchise, I think I would also be speaking to Head Office. Her behaviour is so unprofessional and unacceptable- and potentially illegal in terms of how she has accessed and used your personal data. If she were an employee this would be gross misconduct.

Fair point but this tutor obviously felt like the review was very misplaced for her to react like this. Something isn't adding up.

Rude! I can read perfectly well, thank you.

I think one should always try and resolve issues directly with a service provider especially a small business first before plastering concerns on the internet. If they don’t resolve or address these concerns satisfactorily then fair enough to go public.

So.... you're saying you think OP did the right thing when she did exactly that?

I can't believe you have written what you have written.

If this tutor is "on the floor" after one review which gives some negative feedback, then she really does have serious MH issues.
A business does not succeed or fail on one good or one negative review.

OP was one of several parents who all received the exact same email from the tutor ie that they needed to spend even more money per month to get their child to a higher standard.
This is unusual, to say the least, and possibly suspicious.

She became increasingly unhappy with her son's tutoring, and eventually communicated this by phone and email to the tutor. She therefore gave the "verbal and written feedback" you thought she should give.
She was not happy with the tutor's response.
She then posted a review highlighting some areas of concern.
Which is exactly how a review should function, and she is totally within her rights to do so.

Instead of calmly responding to that review online, as every other business does, the tutor rang OP 15 times, and her sister, and sent multiple messages.

This is already an extreme reaction.

During this time OP was busy cooking dinner, clearing away, washing up, supervising homework and bathing/bedtime routine - normal family life.

Which is then interrupted by the tutor showing up at her house at 9.45pm, shouting, screaming and crying, and banging on the door and windows.
3 hours after the review was posted!

Now we're into seriously unhinged behaviour.

There is no way to excuse this behaviour by the tutor.

You've really gone to town on the dramatics - OP's review of the tutor has "threatened her livelihood" and "the roof over her kids' heads".
OP could even have caused her to 'commit suicide'!
"OP is HORRIBLE "!

JFC, get a grip.

OP has done absolutely nothing wrong here, and the tutor has acted horrendously.

Honestly, the number of people on this thread who do not grasp the concept of a review is quite astonishing.

OP, I hope you at least leave the review as it stands. I do understand why you might be very wary of adding a follow up to explain what subsequently happened.

I hope nothing else happens to upset your family. Good luck to your son for the exams.

OP you should certainly leave another factual review outlining the tutor's behaviour after reading the review. Parents should be made aware before leaving her with their children. Its then up to the parents themselves if they feel their children are safe and if they are happy to squander their money on what certainly sounds like a scam.

She most certainly won't be the only tutor pulling this off. Parents need to help each other to try to weed these tutors out.

How can OP log threats when no threats are currently occuring? I did not suggest OP not report any further threats. I responded to someone who seemed to believe it was still ongoing currently.

OP had a truly triumphant result from writing her Google (etc) review on a disappointing party service a week or so ago. She wrote:

I did go in all guns blazing, I couldn’t think of a single thing that the company provided that they promised.

I was right behind her then. Her thread on here about it - where she was an "ex-teacher" unlike this one where she is a teacher, but I digress - was an absolute triumph of support, and I expect she was hoping for more of the same.

I don't think the situations are at all comparable, however.

How did she try to scam you?

Yes, she’s batshit. It’s good OP’s review will warn anyone else from suffering the same.

You threaten her livelihood? How about she threatens you and your family? Are we reading the same information here?

OP is ‘kicking’ the tutor with a review? How about the tutor literally ‘kicked’ the door when pleading for the review to be removed? Again, are we reading the same information here?

Mumsnet is quite literally mind boggling. The victim flipping that’s going on here and vehemence with which people are laying into the OP… who let me remind you has… written a bad review. Are you the “friend” of the tutor who contacted the OP putting pressure on her to remove the review? It’s a review. How on earth can you make the OP out as ‘threatening’ and talk about ‘kindness’ - again let me repeat, it’s a review. And again with the victim flipping - if we are focussing on ‘kindness’ - the kind thing to do would be to not turn up at the OP’s house at 9.45pm banging on doors and windows. My word there really are so many people on here who take information and add 2 and 2 and get 23. Perspective and weighing information appropriately is sooooo needed. No wonder Murdoch et al. have so much power when people are so ready and desperate to be offended.

I am gobsmacked that so many can think posting a bad review (which sounds justified) can be classed as “threatening” (its not - its helpful for people to read honest reviews) and coming round to the home of a parent and children, in breach of GDPR, privacy etc., and in all honestly violently banging and pleading on doors and windows, is somehow not the issue here…. But a bad review is.

No wonder the world is screwed and democracy doesn’t work. OP I would have been terrified. Knowing she knows where you live is a horrid feeling and you should never EVER have been put in this position. I’m so shocked by the responses I read on here. I’ve had my share of emotional MH breakdowns but my word if they ever breached a client’s confidentiality like this and involved children. This is some serious, serious shit. I cannot believe that people are saying what is important here is ultimately not giving a glowing review. I hate glowing false reviews. It leaves you to buy rubbish or invest your money in rubbish. Good and bad reviews are both helpful. Full five star reviews are often a sign of clients pressured into writing them, and I don’t usually trust them. Don’t listen to the haters on here. There’s some kind of coolaid going round on mumsnet; don’t drink it.

It cost £80 to finish the job properly. He had actually completed one of the jobs correctly. It was annoying but shit happens. I am not batshit bonkers enough to write bad reviews for anyone and everyone who annoys me.

You know less about my plumber than we all know about this strange tutor.

It was annoying to have to pay twice. Unlike the OP I did not continue to throw good money after bad. Unlike the op I was alone in the house with a 6 feet tall, heavily built man. I Didnt hide behind the sofa, I told him I was unhappy and told him to leave. Yes, I was able to afford the extra £80, Unlike the OP I couldn't afford £1,000 a month for private tutoring. Even if I could afford it, I wouldn't pay it.

So, no more snidey comments from you thank you very much.

Then you should try reading the OPs posts.

She did bring up the problem with the tutor and was dismissed out of hand.

Imagine coming on here bleeting about kindness and being empathetic while in the same post berating the OP and calling her horrible when she’s the one who’s been on the receiving end of threatening behaviour that is far outside of accepted social norms. If anyone is rude, it’s you.

You have a very vivid imagination, don’t you?

if this person is charging that amount for tutoring then it doesn’t sound like a small business to me! I think your review was needed! She is unhinged and not safe to be around children or to have access to personal information. Leave the review up and message her saying that if she comes near any of your family or house again the police will be involved.

Agree. Remember the poor headmistress who committed suicide over a poor ofsted report? All the parents thought she was wonderful. Ofsted didn't. I bet mumsnet was awash with sympathy for the headmistress at the time.

How on earth do you know this woman won't give any more hassle?

How can you confidently say the woman sounds about as scary as a goldfish, when she turned up at a house with children in, hysterical and banging?

The op and her family felt scared. Where is the kindness and empathy for her and her children?

If this woman is so fragile that one negative review sends her into this kind of spiral, then she needs to rethink her career.

Op tried to give feedback before leaving the review, but was not listened to.

The woman didn't like what she read. So she has a tantrum, harrassed op, and when that didn't get the response she wanted, turned up at the door.

Your take is that she is some vulnerable, delicate little flower. Another take is she is a bully who is used to getting what she wants by screaming and shouting, and has now scared op and her children, who were in their safe place (their home) because things didn't go her way. But that doesn't fit your narrative of op being a villain for daring to leave honest feedback about a professional service she paid for

Are you saying that any one who isn't happy with feedback on their professional behaviour or performance, would be ok to behave this way? We have feedback forms in clinic rooms at work... people can post about their patient experience on our website....if someone doesn't give a glowing report, should I find their address and go to their house, screaming and crying? Because thats what this is.

Something is missing from the story, the OP has played down what she said in the review. Otherwise why would tutor react like that.

Because some people are that unhinged/entitled/bullies etc.

Oh yes. Let's not forget OP is a serial bad review writer.

She also is confused about whether she is a teacher or not. A real teacher would/ should be able to spot a dodgy tutoring business a mile off. Real teachers often don't have hundreds of pounds a month to spare. Real teachers are usually capable of preparing their kids for the 11+. As a previous poster has said, a few practice papers with feedback is usually enough.

I am really sorry, that you felt you need to explain more. Shocked that you got nasty comments, it is normal to leave a review. You can be using same service for sometime, but suddenly something happens and you're not pleased anymore. And I assume it was something serious, otherwise I doubt you would've done it. With children involved, parents need to be careful. And I am sure you were right, considering that woman appeared at your doors like a lunatic and scared your family off. Forget about comments here, they don't matter. The only thing that matters is safety of your family. So please make sure you report her in case she does anything similar again. All the best!

You're just guessing. We don't know what the full picture is. The OP should have posted exactly what she said in the review for people to try and understand both sides.