Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

How early?

I’d bet half the comments defending this tutor business are from bad tutors themselves. The level of coordinated outrage is almost impressive. Instead of addressing the review, they seem more interested in bullying parents into not leaving one.

Susan, haven’t you been on this thread long enough to know this has been said several times before?
It’s also been rebutted more than once. 🤷

You’ve hit the nail on the head.

They aren’t used to people not backing down when they post en masse on a thread.

Similar to the tutor in question actually.

So another tutor has told you to take it down because she has mental health.
All the more reason to leave it up .
If I was a parent id want to know this she clearly needs some help in life .
Our children are the most important not the feelings of a tutor who can't accept feedback.

Fair enough dragonflyspeeding. The one I had tried to scam me. There are definitely scammers out there which is a shame , most are just honest people working hard to make a living.

I think publishing a negative review - whether fully or wholly negative - is s bad idea and your example shows this quite clearly. You should have written to her privately, that would have been constructive and also kind. Take the review down, tell her that you have done so and put an end to the chaos you have - unwittingly - caused. She overreacted, ok, but your review caused that. You are no longer her client so step away. She does not have to live up to your expectations of rational behaviour

But OP, have you cancelled the cheque yet?

She’s reacted poorly but take the google
revieq down

what on earth were you thinking ffs? She’s an 11 plus tutor, not a big corporate

Ok I’ve not read all people’s responses but I’ve read almost all of the OPs replies and blimey!!
to me it sounds like the tutor has been caught out and panicked! Clearly upping prices to cram in all the ‘required learning’ and using that fear and pressure on parents has worked well for her and the company in the past, the fact she openly told a group that they once had a negative review but she spoke to the parent and they changed it speaks volumes! Wonder how things went for that parent!!
turning up at your home is wild and yes, entirely unethical to use your info from company documents to do so! I’m guessing the tutoring is at a separate place so she hadn’t been to your home before- this is concerning to say the very least. I don’t think you need to go to any extremes, the police are aware, you have footage and evidence. I’d leave your review, me being petty id update it with her subsequent actions but that’s just me ;-) I’d certainly be making sure she knows that any further contact would result in police intervention though.

No.

Reacted poorly? Are you quite mad.

She is a service business conning parents out of their money.

I wonder how many she has done this to already.

Quite a lucrative scam she has going. I wonder how many tutors do this. Certainly something to watch out for and report widely.

It is the tutor world of dynamic pricing.
Get a whole lot of scared freaked out parents closer to the deadline and up the pricing! Completely bonkers.

But the purpose of a review is to let other customers know that the service is problematic. Its not like the OP was complaining about the tutor’s bad breath, clothing choices, or otherwise making a personal criticism that should be made privately. OP was commenting on a costly mistake in the delivery of the service itself. She had already informed the tutor personally and privately of her concerns and been blown off “lets not start the blame game” IIRC. Warning other customers is perfectly polite and reasonable.

So basically, review functions are absolutely pointless as posting anything other than a glowing review is unkind and the reviewer deserves any comeback they get from it, even if the come back is harassment?

I'm shocked at how many people on this thread think people shouldn't post negative reviews of services or products if their honest opinion is that it wasn't all positive.

I never knew so many people thought this was about reviews until I read this thread

The people posting to remove the review will be teachers themselves!
Circling around to protect their own income stream.

Sixtysomething - You can drop the patronising tone. And are you harrasing me here? And wonder why you support harrassment...
And ‘rebutted’ by the same people defending it? Harassment is wrong. Get it?

Do you know what the function of a review is? You tell people about your experience. That’s what the OP did. There is absolutely no fucking point in anyone leaving reviews if only positive reviews are permitted.

Honest reviews are important. People should know the good and the bad and make informed decisions.

He was recommended on checkatrade. He had lots of good reviews. He had lots of repeat customers. He was registered with lots of trade bodies.

I personally thought he was useless. Therefore, I dealt with it.

Cowardice is not in my nature. Never has been. I'm not the sort of person who writes shitty reviews and then hides behind the sofa. I am not vindictive enough to want to see someone down and out.

I complained forcefully at the hotel. So forcefully that the receptionist called the assistant manager. The assistant manager arranged a free meal. The bistro manager fell over backwards for me. After reading my online review the hotel manager offered me a discount if I chose to return. I declined.

I think I'm a bit better at complaining than OP. I would have answered the phone to the tutor. I would have answered the door. I wouldnt be afraid to face up to the consequences of my actions.

She still hasnt explained the tutoring arrangements. I still dont know how a 9 year old child was taking himself off to be tutored, i still dont know why tutors and parents arent allowed to have each others details. I always exchanged details.

I am now convinced that this wasnt a proper tutor. I think she was running a franchise for a well known tutoring company. The sort of place where kids turn up and fill in worksheets.

The fact that OP mentions that there were lots of kids there sort of confirms this. Generally speaking, a lot of these places are shit with not much adult input. There was one in our local supermarket. Parents dumped their kids there whilst they went shopping. It has closed down now. The fact that OP mentioned all day saturday, again confirms that it must have been one of these centres. I have a well known name in mind but i wont mention it here.

If OP was using one of these centres and IF she is really a teacher, she should have known better.

Whereas, I was a proper tutor who visited kids in their homes. I gave them individual attention. I knew where they lived. They knew where I lived. I had a rapport with the parents.

You know it really is interesting to read all opinions, and those who said I should have known better - I’m not perfect, I love my children very much and I only want the best for them.

I know the impact this has had on my son, and I won’t share the details on here as I’ve experienced the nasty comments already. But the little I will share is, that he can’t comprehend why his teacher would be banging at his home door, and now the event has passed the 48 hour mark, he’s really feeling hit with exactly what’s happened, and why this whole 11 plus thing has become such a big ordeal. That is not what I wanted.

I am a teacher and I know success is not linear, and I know success looks different. However time and money has been spent with this tutor, and I feel her con, dishonesty or lack of transparency whatever you want to call it, and the crazy incidents in the last couples of has had a horrible effect on us as a family. My review was there in all honesty (regardless of if anyone wants to believe me or not) to warn other parents so they or their kids don’t go through the same.

Absolutely this…I’m genuinely confused as to the number of people on this thread who think that honest reviews are somehow wrong to give. You complain to the person or company. You give them a chance to rectify the situation. Then you post about your experiences, good and bad, so that other people can make an informed decision. No wonder review sites are such tat nowadays if everyone is trying to put such a positive spin on things 🙄

I’ve just gone down the rabbit hole of UK tutoring businesses’ reviews… apparently the industry is powered entirely by 5 stars and the occasional rebellious 4 star tutoring companies. A magical world of 5-star perfection… apart from the real-life 2-star experiences that don’t always make it online.

Why do people keep coming out with this rubbish?

I'm a teacher (now retired) and I think that the tutor behaved abominably. Most teachers do not want other teachers to let the side down, and often judge each other harshly.

I don't think the review should be removed, and it frustrates me that people reading the reviews won't get to see one that tells of her behaviour that night. But I fully appreciate that OP posting that involves a level of risk that I wouldn't be up for, either.