Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Colour me silly then.
Off to cook lunch for my 88 y\o FIL who visits EVERY Sunday!

It sounds like a scam. She's furious because she's got away with it for so long that she thinks it's fine, and you uncovering it the review has blown that game for her. She may well have MH problems but that doesn't entitle her to scam people and everyone have to pretend she isn't in case she has a breakdown. That works out remarkably well for her but not so well for the kids she's meant to be teaching, or their parents.

And FWIW my child had an 11 plus tutor (and passed) and we had none of these issues. You're kept abreast of progress so there shouldn't be any need of an expensive last minute package - however as this was clearly offered to all children, it sounds like she uses this to rinse extra money from the parents.

She did speak to her first. She's said so in multiple posts on this thread.

Have you considered talking to him about it?😬

You are.

Can those who think the 11+ is easy and you don’t need a tutor please join us in 2026? It may have been easy and unnecessary to tutor when every area had a grammar school and there were enough places, now there is extreme competition to get in and the children who would thrive there could be easily beaten to a place by a child who won’t but has had 4 years of tutoring to pass the test. Using a tutor and being unhappy with their service isn’t any reflection of whether the child is capable or not.

I hope you aren’t intimidated into taking your review down. I’ve read all your posts but not all the others. I don’t understand why other posters are showing so much concern for the tutor. She’s harassing you and appears to have contacted at least two other people ie your SIL and another tutor to get them to put pressure on you to remove the review. Frankly she sounds like an unhinged bully with no regard for client confidentiality. And she can hardly complain about police involvement when she was the person who first threatened to call them.

Suggest you ensure the police know that she also contacted your SIL and that you got a later call from an associate of hers asking you to remove the review. I assume they recorded the messages and visit as separate occasions. Harassment is two or more incidents and the above should count as at least 4

You really are desperate to blame the OP.

You are as desperate as the clearly unhinged tutor.

I wonder how many other teachers are running similar scams.

Every parent who reads the review will thank the OP for leaving it.

Just because she is a teacher does not mean she knows everything about everything, respectfully.

We had some interactions with teachers where the communication was so poor we had no idea what the possible outcomes for our daughters were. We didn't know if we should even attempt the 11+ after parent's evening, which was all of 5 mins before being shuffled to to the next subject teacher.

Being a teacher in primary doesn't make you an expert on all things educational.

If I am not getting enough feedback or suggestions from my teachers about what is best for MY DDs then yes it is my responsibility as a parent invested in their educational success to look at other resources; of which tutoring is one.

If you RTFT the OP did raise concerns before leaving the review - comprehension is important. It is only you who has unilaterally decided that the review was shitty and I don't think you have evidence for this view.

I predict peak teacher indignation this evening, when they start wailing that they have to go back to work tomorrow.Remember, they know best.And if you are not a teacher, you should put up and shut up! 🙄😂

I’m on OP’s side and I dread going back tomorrow.

Oh, are you still bizarrely accusing anyone of having a heart and showing any concern for the tutor's situation of being a teacher? You must be a teacher, by your own reasoning as you are supporting the OP who is - no, was - a teacher, also

But op has been vague about the concern she raised / wanted to raise with the tutor or what exactly was ‘somethings came to light’. Only think she has mentioned in full details is tutor’s behaviour. So anyone who is being sympathetic to Op is also lacking of knowledge in the manner you claim poster you are replying to does.

Odd your supposed empathy is only to the presumably fellow unprofessional teacher/tutor. Perhaps you should think of empathising with the parents who are being scammed? And to the OP and her relatives who were harassed by the tutor? And to the kids who were terrified enough to run upstairs when their angry tutor banged on their door at night time?

Best to follow OP’s approach and post him a crap review 😉

No she hasn't. Read the last of the OP's posts and then it's blatantly clear.

Every pupil of the tutor has been told they need intense expensive extra tuition, having not been taught enough up to this point. Despite the OP questioning what's going on during the year and if they are being taught enough.

OP I think you need to keep the review up. This tutor is raking it in, and other parents may struggling and going without to afford the extra tuition. This woman is ruthlessly manipulating everyone who sends their child to her.

I think the issue here may also be a little cultural, in England we notice that people will not bring up the issue on the spot, but wait to write a review.

I don’t think she’s been vague? Issue was child was not at standard expected by time expected and this was not raised in a timely manner at feedback sessions but raised belatedly with the proposal that said child needed additional sessions costing £800pm to catch up. Sounds like a scam to extort more cash and OP is reasonable to have been unhappy about it.

@OnlyOneAdda You put it much more succinctly than I have. This is exactly it, she wanted my child (and 55 to 60 other kids) to do 10 hours over the weekend, at 800 pounds a months. All phrased as, ‘look how hard me and my staff are working, we are even here at the weekends supporting your children, leaving our own families to do this’

She is absolutely raking it in, and the centre was full of kids at the weekend.

I think parents should be aware, and that this does seem to be the MO. My SIL pointed out, that perhaps she did react in that way because she’s been caught out. But that’s a big maybe.

I am keeping the review up, but I will not escalate any further. I do feel very scared she knows my family and knows my address though. The most normal people can do the most unbelievable things. Especially where money is concerned.

@Slightyamusedandsilly

The way you write and have responded to me is quite interesting to me.

You seem to have a low key underlying disdain for both parents who send their children to independent schools and also for parents who tutor - yet this is your livelihood and you also tutor your own child. It's quite jarring to read.

Not all fee paying parents or tutoring parents are stupid idiots who think throwing £££ at a random internet-identified tutor on a Saturday morning are going to get themselves into highly selective, competitive entry schools.

I think you should have a bit more respect for your clients, and for your students.

To address your points:

Interesting that you pay to tutor your own child when you yourself are a tutor for other children.

You have worked in 5 independent schools so I wouldn't dare challenge your experience but I have been paying independent fees for 13 years plus out of salary (no inheritance, no grandparents, just our own sacrifices - not that I should have to account for this to you) and I am telling you my lived experience - we were not paying for grades.

As I said in a previous post - we have 2 DDs and we got very different academic outcomes. DD1 is absolutely flying at a super selecting academic school with both music and academic scholar status. DD2 is not even close to an academic scholarship but is finding her own path via music and drama and will apply for a scholarship in the next year because she is that good - NOTHING that a Maths / English and Verbal Reasoning tutor could have identified - only something we picked up as parents. There is NO WAY you can accuse me of "paying for grades".

It is interesting because DD2 was overlooked by teachers at her prep school before 11+ (I suspect teachers who have the same myopic views you have) - as they couldn't see past her Maths/English/Verbal Reasoning reasoning results and yet she has the most amazing singing voice, is on high grades for flute, piano, dance and LAMDA. Crucially - she is also very good at English and Verbal Reasoning - just not Maths which breaks the "11+ troika" requirement.

I feel your posts to me prove my point perfectly - teachers can be so narrow minded in their view of a child and so parents' evenings for DD2 were so negative. We could not reconcile this with what we know of her - as her parents - so we went to a tutor, ultimately seeking an independent benchmark.

Point 2, never in my life have I ever asked any tutor or extracurricular teacher to predict certain grades. It's a shame you have come across some characters like that but that is absolutely not my behaviour at all and I hope not for those around me.

If anything we feel beholden to the tutor - we do everything they say because we feel they know best.

A year of tutoring - I can't comment on this - I would have requested feedback at much smaller intervals earlier, purely because we were stretching ourselves financially so badly that I needed to have review our expenditure regularly.

I can't comment on OP @Booyou123 . I don't think though that just because she stuck it out for a year she deserves the outcome that she has had.

Finally, you say the review was excoriating - do you have sight of this review? Do you know if what she was saying was true or false? There are some really horrible tutors out there who are just out to get money out of desperate parents.

I am not sure why - as both a teacher and a tutor - capable of critical analysis - you are defending a review that you presumably have not seen? If you have seen the review I stand corrected.

You are now blaming the OP for "not tracking her child's progress".

Speaking for myself not @Booyou123 I find it hard to "track progress" when my child is getting certificates, awards, merit stickers in the homework diary, coming up in the top 3 of her class - that is all well and good but how am I supposed to interpret that in terms of an application to a highly selective school? How? I'd be interested to hear your comments on that.

From my side, you just come across like someone who has tarred all independent and tutoring parents with one brush without much reflection on the other side of the equation.

While I respect your profession, I feel you lack respect for the parents in your independent schools and for the parents who pay for your tutoring services.

It comes across as though you think we are all idiots with more money than sense. It would have been refreshing if you had considered in your posts that this sort of relationship ultimately HAS to be mutually respectful and ultimately essentially symbiotic.

Tutors who are poor communicators will get bad reviews; and tutors have a responsibility to act in a reasonable manner in response to that negative feedback. This tutor did not do that and literally jumped 2 feet first into harassment territory.

I am not sure how you, based on your profession, and also as a tutor, can condone the behaviour of this tutor. There are alternative ways of dealing with a disputed review, I am sure.

Ye gods!
I took the 11+ and passed it easily. I didn't have any extra tuition. We did some work at school because the whole class was taking it. 25% of us passed. Nothing like the intense work that schools now put in for sats.

I was sad that we didn't have grammar schools in the area where I now live. I would have liked the offspring to have had the opportunity to go to grammar. They were near the top of the class in an excellent state school. I knew this because their teacher told me so. I knew how they were progressing with reading and maths. I knew they were having extension work.

However, I wouldn't have spent 4 years paying for a tutor just to get a grammar place. I certainly wouldn't pay £1,000 a month. I think this is sheer insanity.

I have always been in favour of grammars and private education. Horses for courses. This thread is beginning to change my mind. It's sheer insanity. When I summarised the thread earlier, a poster said I had an over active imagination. No I'd just summarised the thread. It's loopy.

I love how this thread has become totally derailed into the merits of tutoring and different schools. The poor OP doesn’t need that!
OP - I think you should call the police again and ask what they are going to do about the harassment you are receiving from the tutor. Totally unacceptable.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a grammar place in 2026? My DD1 sat in 2024 and there were 4000 candidates competing for 211 places.

You do know that the OP is one of those wailing indignant teachers?