Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Do you think people should act on an opinion that is completely one-sided, as you are telling OP to do?

@Booyou123
Having read all your posts, it appears this woman does appear unhinged.
Taking this incident (coming to your door, the repeated phone calls) I would not want her anywhere near my child.
Then to be manipulated/bullied into taking down your honest review by another, uninvolved tutor, telling you it could cause this woman MORE bad mental health is very telling.
I've not been in your shoes, but I think I would report further. Higher up the education chain.

Wow, I literally feel like I’m being hunted down on my credibility using my ADHD and RSD. The post is about a tutor and her actions which I found to be crossing boundaries. At no point did I expect it to turn into this.

I’m torn between telling the moderators to take this thread down, or just letting it carry on to see how far this will go.

I speak to so many people every day, no one in my life, as a mum of 4 kids, has anyone spoken to me the way I have been spoken to on here.

If this is the reality of some people, I’m lost for words.

Also, please do read the thread fully before commenting.

Of course there are laws,but the police are not going to leave protection officers at your house,they won't get involved unless you get hurt-So which would you rather be a bit more diplomatic with your reviews,or go through the whole process of being harassed and go to court give evidence and all of the trouble and stress and fuss..The harasser might get some community service,if the court thinks your review was reasonable,and perhaps not if they don't.
People young enough to have grown up with social media need to understand that criticising someone when they know who you are and where you live is fundamentally different to criticising on social media.

I wouldn't agree. Sorry, but I do thi k you're showing a touch of RSD; not meaning that unkindly.

Some people are dicks.

Just ignore them. Some people on here are just contrary for the sake of it. If the tutor posted she’d also be getting her arse handed to her and told not to be so sensitive over one bad review.

I’m sorry about the shit you’ve had on here. Try not to take it personally as there are people who won’t or can’t read and comprehend the posts on many threads. There are those who just get something out of being nasty too.

I really don’t know what I would do or advise you to do in this situation now. I don’t really like the idea of letting it go after her behaviours which really does seem unhinged given the detail on here.
Maybe she knows she went too far and has learnt her lesson and won’t behave that way with you or anyone else again. Maybe the stress of everything she’s done since coming back to bite her and her business is enough punishment, maybe not.
Someone has probably got her to do the professional response or done it for her. I certainly would retain all the evidence of her behaviour.

You don't need to reply to the pigs, they just enjoy rolling around in the mud.

The more you show you're upset at some posts, the more some people will post unpleasant things. Ignore or report.

And the tutor has known mental health difficulties. Maybe learn and grow yourself. She spiralled and lost it. It's not ideal behaviour. But the tutor has apologised and said she will make no further contact.

The world has gone mad. Suggesting that negative reviews be taken down as hate speech or because the mentally unstable teacher might become even more mentally unstable.

The OP did everything right. The reviews for anything that we do will sometimes be negative. They will often be negative if we are doing a really bad job and do need to stop and do something else. We can’t do everything well! I can imagine the reviews if I try to do, say, ballet on stage at Covent Garden!

This tutor maybe deserves the second chance if she learns to contain her rage (and improve her teaching). Because otherwise - today she’s banging on grown-ups’ doors, tomorrow she smacks or insults kids. I’d let the police know about the banging and threats and try to put it out of your mind. Good lick with exams!

Can you imagine? It would be all ‘if your business can’t withstand one negative review, maybe you shouldn’t be in business OP. Have you considered taking in ironing instead?’

Are you quite mad. Known MH issues because she asked her colleague to coerce the OP into removing the review. This woman has no business being on her own with kids.
OP update your review to include she banged on your door at night. And tell whatever school she works in too.

I was not mocking her. I was saying she knows how debilitating anxiety can be, and hers was over a party. While the teacher's spiral was over her livelihood.

I have ignored most. I learnt from my kids this is something that happens in the playground - rage baiting.

However I do have to say, to the person that says I am completely OTT for changing my door, and sealing the letterbox etc. Unfortunately I grew up where due to unseen circumstances with my dad, we had bailiffs at our door, and it was a horrific way to live.

I still have some level of anxiety at knocks on doors. So I hope that satisfies those that were curious about my OTT reaction.

Also for those posters who are still commenting on the fact that I have ruined her livelihood, perhaps they should read the summary of my review to find out exactly what my concerns were and the fact that this has been shared by others who attend the same place for tutoring. That would be very helpful.

I think you've done a lot of people a favor. It sounded like an almighty scam.

No, my point was about your complete lack of empathy.

I bet she's tried it before - suddenly requiring extra money. She's furious that someone has called her out on it.

Exactly, its her MO

To be honest if you’re having to spend over a grand so your son can pass what is a fairly easy exam then I’d say he’s not suitable for grammar school. Why not just get some practice papers to do at home? Avoids all of this mess that’s happened.

Thank you for being the type of person who leaves a genuine review. No you have not destroyed her livelihood. You sound like a lovely caring teacher and mother. I don’t believe this woman should be tutoring children as she’s mentally unwell and clearly unhinged. She needs to go and get professional help.

Your bar for ideal behaviour is very low.

how about empathy for children getting bad tutoring and wasting their precious time ?????