Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Trading standards direct you to CAB if you contact them. CAB act like a triage service and may refer back to trading standards (but may not).

Ok,it's changed, but in any case it doesn't change the fact she has two threads running at the same time about reviews and what to do about them.

Sorry are you seriously comparing OP’s feelings about the party to what the tutor deed? That poor poor “panicked” tutor that used OP’s private address from the invoices (which is against the law) to visit at 10 pm and bang on the door?
do you also think it’s ok that someone injures or kills someone just because they had a psychotic episode? Just because it is all lumped together as “mental health issue” it doesn’t mean they are the same or even remotely comparable

Why not pissed off, entitled , “how fucking dare you?” tutor?

so? Things happen. Sometimes bad experiences happen around the same time. Negative reviews are absolutely permissible.

This post nails it.

You’ve never had more than one thing go wrong at once? Lucky.

Your post just illustrates your ignorance of RSD and how overwhelming and incapacitating it can be. This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow: look it up, really think about the quotes you've bolded. You may not experience it yourself, but plenty of others do.

I'm sure you're not as scathing about people with visible differences.

@Booyou123

I am so sorry and horrified by the abuse you have received from some posters.

Please make a police report. What you are experiencing is S4a stalking and trust me when I say I know this law instead out (as I have been accused of it with zero evidence).

Her coming to your door at 9.45pm, calling you many times, resulting in you having to reconsider your security etc, and your children are scared! Particularly mention your children and the security - it is highly relevant.

She had the opportunity to write a public counter-argument to your review and instead she has gone down this alarming harassment route.

She needs this matter on police record. I have little faith in the police but at least you will have tried. She will also be assessed by a mental health worker which can only be of benefit to her.

Please write that report now, six months down the line, you might be relieved you did.

I hope your abuse on this forum does not put you and other posters off sharing their very real concerns.

For context, I am 280 miles away from my ‘victims’ - my daughter and her husband who blackmailed me out of £200k lifesavings without my husband’s (age 70) knowledge. When he discovered the truth he was so shocked, he had a near fatal seizure, was blue-lighted to hospital needing CPR and months of recovery time.

It started 4 years ago and this past week my ‘seriously alarmed and distressed’ complainants had a letter sent to my address for child benefit for their son!

I think you're misunderstanding @blueminimoon 's post.
She's talking about how 'how overwhelming and incapacitating' RSD is, and linking it to OP's behaviour.

Whether the review was right or wrong I would take it down if I knew it was causing someone real distress.

The majority of these posters will be teachers themselves acting in their own interests. Anyone with any common sense can see this tutor has no business having any interaction with minors.

I also thought it was not in the spirit of MN to trawl through a poster’s history and make reference to their other threads.

Teachers are far and away the most prolific posters on MN. They are doing what they always do - piling on to try to wear the OP down. This frequently results in the OPs giving and backing off to which they then reply with patronising posts saying well done for being sensible. It’s their same tired old formula.

Do not remove the review OP. And you should absolutely reply factually to her answers on your original review highlighting her subsequent inappropriate behaviour. Other parents need to be aware of this woman.

Well clearly the tutor who turned up thought it would destroy the business- and that is the pertainent point, whether it does or not is irelevant- you are attacking someone and they are retailating, the police won't get involved unless you get hurt- so how is your point relevant?

Teachers are far and away the most prolific posters on MN

Not true. You just made that up.

It’s always unwise to make assumptions about others lives and wealth.

"the absolute lather of panic and dread and anxiety OP was in, over what the other parents would think of her party not being up to scratch"

That is not showing awareness of RSD, it's mocking her.

The OP is / was a teacher too

I’m also thinking this.

There is a certain amount of teacher bashing on Mumsnet. 🤣

It’s clearly just someone who hates teachers. There are posters like that. And no, I am not a teacher.

This is not correct in any way. Please read the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. You cannot just turn up at someone’s house, bang their door and scare their children - following a ‘bad’ review.

Whose point? You need to quote the person you’re replying to, otherwise we have no idea who your post is aimed at.

This

at the end of the day this is your opinion and completely one sided.

does this really matter that much to you? It clearly matters at lot to her.

if it were me I’d just remove it and think twice before leaving a shitty review unless people absolutely and categorically deserve it.

Does your child not go to school? Is this the only education they are receiving? I'm baffled by the whole concept. Parents evening for tuition? All sounds very odd. Grammar schools are for the most able children - if all this is needed to get in - it sounds like the business is praying on parental desire that is out of keeping with their children's actual reality which is bound to create the sort of warped situation and mismanagement of expectations that you describe.

OP has addressed this, several times, in this thread.
What part is unclear?