Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

I can’t get over the absolute shakedown prices she is charging, and having the gall to accelerate the fees to cover topics. Private tutors charging fees for a private service are absolutely fair game for online reviews. Taking the OP’s posts at face value, she was dead right to review now, not post exams/results.

The reaction by the tutor is completely unreasonable. Paying customers are entitled to say ‘I paid x and expected y curriculum to be delivered; I did not then expect to be charged an additional z for y.’

OP please dont get influenced by bullshit replies on here. Doesn't matter what you wrote or what your issue with her tutoring is - RED HERRINGS! But posters on here just LOVE to latch on those, and this OP/Victim-blaming is pretty much on every thread. Ohhh unless your husband cheated or was abused you!
Even if you wrote a horrible and dishonest review (and I dont believe you did btw), she had no right to be doing all these crazy things. Please do take it further, she will do this again to other families. Honestly, would you be comfortable ever leaving a child in her care?? Let people know, she should not be anywhere near children, especially Primary School age!

Get a ring doorbell as well - bloody nutter she is. I don't think she should be tutoring kids if she is capable of such extrreme behaviour major red flags!

It just sounds like your son failed. I am not justifying her reaction but seriously the tyranny of review leaving... I don't leave them unless they are positive.

Take it further in case it happens to someone else - she should not be anywhere near any kids.

Well your reviews are pretty useless then arent they?

So I’m a Primary School Teacher and I have been for 15 years.

It's interesting you say this, as on your other thread you said you were an ex-primary school teacher. Who somehow managed to not notice her son was not (a) at all good at maths and (b) not improving despite months of tuition.

I would have thought a primary school teacher would be able to teach a child maths for an hour a week at the kitchen table, not employ a tutor at great expense for many months, and then manage to publicly blame the tutor for her son's shortcomings in maths to such a degree she has a breakdown and loses it.

How many times?
The son hasn't taken the exam yet. It's in September. OP has had to repeat that information multiple times for people who can't be bothered to read the thread (or even her posts) , as have many of us. Did you read ANY of this thread beyond the OP?

According to AI:
'In the UK, nearly 24% of women (nearly one in four) experience a common mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression, in any given week.'

Mental health issues are very very common, including for teachers!

You said you left after certain things came to light. Was this hearsay from other people or from your own experience.
It's quite personal leaving a negative review for someone you visited for months. So I guess it would be hard not to take it personally. Normally you leave a negative review if you have a bad dinner or the driver was late. But a negative review on a professional business could be hard to shake.

AI also states that teachers with MH issues should teach only if they have effective symptom management and the ability to handle it.

It appears this tutor lacks both of the above. Therefore should not be around children.

The OP has already answered this.

If you go to the original post, there is a button on the bottom right of this post which says 'see all' You can easily read through all of the OP's posts and replies.

OP has one - and has the woman's nutty behaviour recorded on it fortunately

HOW CAN HE HAVE FAILED AN EXAM HE HASN'T YET TAKEN???

Failed to progress.
Failed to grasp basic maths.
Failed to improve.

She has just now replied to my public review, and disagreed with points made etc in a professional manner.

Your words are there now for anyone to read, I think that’s all you can do.

I’m curious though - who was the local tutor? Was it someone who worked for her, or a tutor from a different company?

If she contacts you again inappropriately, please don’t hesitate to call the police though.

So you are saying the tutor is just pocketing the money knowing the child has "failed" in all of these areas, despite months of her tutoring?

If he has failed in all of those areas, then throwing nearly £1k a month at the problem is going to make no difference to the kid - so she is not only an unhinged nutter, but a scammer too then

If I remember correctly, another thread says DS has been having tutoring for 4 hours weekly since the beginning of year 3.
Also that she has left teaching for a completely different profession.

No. I was responding to your all cap assertion that assumed the poster you were admonishing had not grasped that the child had not sat the exam. There are other meanings for her use of the word "failed" in her post.

Yes, but I think you know that the poster was not looking as deep as "what could failure mean" - she was asserting the kid had failed the exam and that is the reason the OP left a negative review. Which the OP has said copious times is not the case.

So you coming up with all the ways the kid could fail in is a bit daft.

You are coming across as quite desperate to defend the indefensible here. Hmmm I wonder why.

Can’t get over how many people are excusing the tutor’s behaviour. She sounds unhinged. It’s good that you’ve kept the ring doorbell footage and voicemails.

Given she has sent a text to apologise I would leave it there (after blocking her). I would not take down an accurate review.

Try to draw a line under it now. Be on your guard but it should be over.

Four hours a week tutoring on top of school and homework is a lot for a child of your son's age. How does he feel about it? You may find he does OK when the exam comes round, I hope so but, if not, some comprehensive schools are excellent. There is one near me that is great and it competes well with very good grammars in my area. There are many ways of being successful.

Good luck to him and to you. Enjoy the summer!

OP you are in the right, your review is based on your own experience and people can take it or leave it but what shouldn't be happening is this woman bullying and harassing you - and that's true if she does or doesn't have mental health issues. If her mental health issues are this extreme I'm not sure she should even be working with families like this.

Stick to your guns don't let her or anyone else bully you.

Well, I'm not a teacher. HTH.

And the only thing I was "defending" in that post was common sense and a basic grasp of language, after being misunderstood by shouty all caps poster.