Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Did you add to your Google review she turned up unannounced at your house? I would! That is unhinged and her mental health isn't your problem.

I have read all your posts and the review sounds very valid. I think a lot of people seem to think we should just leave things like this as people are working hard in their business and we shouldn’t do anything to mess that up. What people seem to forget is that parents were paying up to £1000 a month I think you said for her services. Those parents will not mostly be millionaires. They will be struggling and saving to pay that fee. You should absolutely be able to be honest with her.
The fact you spoke to her and emailed shows this wasn’t just a nasty review.

Her behaviour is terrible. I would log it all as like you said how would people feel if there kids teacher/ football coach/ swimming teacher etc etc- did this? And imagine if it was a male in this situation. And a man was hammering someone’s window and sending multiple voice notes threatening police. People would see it very differently.

Hope you’re ok OP and not to shaken up. Whether you should log it with the police is a tricky one, but do what feels right for your family.

You didn’t do anything wrong OP. You wrote an honest review. That’s the whole point of review sites. To help others to make an informed decision before they choose a particular service provider. I’m always grateful when people take the time to write a review.

And I don’t understand why some people on this thread have been nit picking and so critical of you - probably just had too many glasses of wine on a Saturday night. So much for ‘be kind’!

You have every right to write an honest review. You raised the issues with her and gave her a chance. She ignored your feedback.

If any business seeks and exposes itself for reviews, the logic is - they will get some bad ones - that's how it works.

One thing I’m taking away from this is how badly many posters would do in a test which relies on comprehension and reasoning.

Id edit the review and include her crazy behaviour and id be contacting her regulating body . Theres no excuses for her actions and she certainly shouldn't be around children.

Crikey - I thought this was you - first you leave multiple reviews about a party you were unhappy with before even hearing back from the company but completely slating them and now you’ve completely slated a tutor having on local
sites having used them for a year. I might have thought the tutor was unhinged (although you’ve probably ruined her livelihood over your perceived issues with her so that can send someone over the edge) but having read your other thread too (some of it valid, some of it just your interpretation but all of it without letting the company explain) I think you need to stay away from the keyboard and have a think about what you say and the consequences of it.

OP, I read your initial posts and was a bit 🧐, but after reading your fuller explanation of what had happened, I really feel for you and your son!
£1000 a month and crazy studying hours for your son, to remedy a situation that has arisen because of poor planning on the tutor’s part is absolutely wild, and you are well within your rights to feel dismayed and duped and not a little financially exploited. As well as very concerned for your poor boy.

Suspect the tutor will be panicking because the chickens have come home to roost - it sounds like this situation has been brewing for a long time and your review has been the catalyst for something that was always going to blow up in her face.

I’m sorry you had the scary situation of her pitching up at your house. She does sound like she is in a mental health crisis, which is not your responsibility to fix. Trustpilot etc is there for a reason, and the issues you raised are serious enough to warrant noting in a review.

In your position I would probably submit a written statement to the police, outlining what happened and expressing a safeguarding concern (for children AND for the tutor, who appears very distressed and possibly a danger to herself). I’d probably also flag with any professional tutoring body that she’s registered with too.

I think it’s right to leave the review up. You shouldn’t be press-ganged and emotionally blackmailed into taking it down when - presumably - it’s simply an accurate record of the service you received.

But I might log the banging on doors and windows incident with social services too as a concern for welfare. I know that sounds excessive but you might feel better if you can demonstrate that you have taken action in this way.

Wishing you all the best, OP. Hope you find a resolution, and that your son has a good outcome in the school situation.

💯

Jeez she sounds completely unhinged. This is very unprofessional behaviour from someone who deals with children for a living. I suspect you wont hear anything else from her though.
We once had a similar issue with our address. A teacher said to my son in the classroom oh you live in xxxx area. I was brought up there. He wasn't really saying anything wrong but my friend who is a teacher said he shouldn't have done this and even though this information is available to teachers on their portal, it isnt in the front page of it so you would have to go into it to look. This questions why he needed to look at this.
I contacted him to ask why. He was extremely offended and asked what I was suggesting. I wasn't suggesting anything but I was questioning why he had the need to look at our address. He couldn't answer. For info i didn't take it any further.

There were plenty of other options she had available. We deride children for wanting instant gratification, but excuse a grown ass woman who wants an answer/resolution and she wants it NOW?

One phone call/email would’ve been enough. A well measured reply disagreeing with the review , would’ve been enough.

There is never a need for 15 phone calls to OP, her husband and her SIL. That’s already deranged behaviour. There definitely wasn’t a need to show up at OP’s house (regardless of the time) , and bang on doors and windows, frightening her children and demanding that the review is taken down.

The fact that you can’t see that is seriously concerning.

You seem to have a lot of issues with people not meeting your standards.
First the party which you left a negative review for (and then received a refund for along with your update of a free party of your choice).
Now it's the tutor that you wrote a negative review about. Yes the behaviour does sound unhinged with them turning up at your door at night but is there something particularly triggering you put. Most people respond to any negative feedback online with a general response e.g. sorry you feel unhappy with our service. As you can see we have plenty of happy tutees from the other reviews. Unfortunately for reasons we don't want to share publicly we cannot comment on your son. Best wishes for the future.

I wonder why you feel the need to do publicly name and shame people - to make yourself feel more righteous, to get free services, boredom? Maybe it's just coincidence that two services have disappointed you at the same time and you have chosen to post in detail about both, but to me it is beginning to appear that the common factor is you.

You mention being a primary school teacher so why do you even need to pay a tutor for your son?

since you were contacted by another tutor and her mental health issue raised, i think you should take it down.
dont concern yourself with other parents which is your aim.
just concentrate on your own family

The OP had an issue with the tutor randomly turning up at her house at 9:45pm to confront her about a review. That’s why they started this thread.

People are perfectly entitled to leave an honest review.

Sorry you have had so many unhinged responses to your post OP, so weird that they are supporting this woman who acted so irrationally. I would love to know how they would have responded 😂 Make an official report to the police, keep the review up, report her to whatever regulating body she is registered with. It’s her actions which have caused these consequences. Time for her to deal with it.

They wouldn’t. And they also would be freaked out by the tutor’s behaviour if it happened to them. It’s pathetic to read.

Yes but is seems rather a coincidence that she also had issues with a sports party recently too and went leaving reviews all over the place before even giving them chance to respond!
It makes me wonder why she feels the need to give a review on everything and what she gains from it.
Agree the tutor does sound unhinged but was there really a need to post about it, surely these things are personal and maybe there is a clash of personalities. Think about your own school days, some teachers you liked, some explained things in a way you got, while others were unclear, dull, didn't build a rapport.

Damn the lonelies are out in force for this one.

Sorry this happened to you @Booyou123 hopefully she leaves you alone now. Keep that footage! Just in case.

What a horrible experience for you. She’s obviously unwell and skint. Your review pushed her over the edge. However, maybe she will now lose customers and struggle to live. Personally I don’t leave reviews, I talk to the person and explain why I’m not happy so they can remedy.

If she posts the exact wording, OP will be identifiable to anyone.

She's explained what the review said.

Either you think what OP is saying is true, in which case, the re-wording is sufficient, or you think she's making things up and not describing what happened accurately, in which case why bother with the thread at all?

The specific wording of the review is not relevant to how she responds to the tutor coming to her house and being unhinged.

Even if the OP’s review was completely dishonest, incorrect and unfair (I am guessing it was the opposite), this tutor behaved unprofessionally and appallingly. I can’t believe people don’t understand that!!!

Why should the OP do that, though? The tutor simply didn't like receiving a negative review and lost her professionalism over it. Removing the review just to avoid hurt feelings is ridiculous. Why should other parents be kept in the dark? If I’m looking for a private tutor for my children in the future, I’m going to rely on honest feedback to make that decision. Honest reviews exist to protect consumers, not to shield businesses from the consequences of their own behaviour.

@KnitNot I totally agree. If a teacher, or holiday camp staff, or carers or nursery staff or anyone who works closely with children behaved like this surely there would be outrage.

I have kept the review up, but my husband is putting CCTV and changing our front door (it has lots of glass and we are going to get something more solid) and sealing our letter box. Not saying she is a serial killer but we are as a family quite scared at the reaction.

Also I have had two unfortunate experiences, with my son’s party and the tuition that have happened in close succession.

I am not a bored and horrible person, but I think if you’ve paid for a service and it doesn’t meet expectation, there should be the freedom to say it.

I really agree with the poster about reading and comprehension. It would save a lot of unnecessary and sometimes horrible comments.

Skint when she’s running a business that hires 9 other tutors and at £ 800/1000 a month?

If one honest review is enough to destroy an entire business, the issue is the business.