Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

I can’t believe people are supporting this incredibly unprofessional and aggressive tutor over the OP. The tutor needs to learn some emotional regulation and potentially needs therapy. She cannot behave like this with her clients, however tough times are.

It’s all irrelevant. She hired a tutor who then behaved abysmally in response to feedback. The fact the OP is a teacher etc has no bearing on what this tutor did.

@Shitshowpolitics I agree that she's human and undoubtedly has things going on in her life - but would you want her tutoring your child right now?

I have every sympathy with people struggling with their mental health, but I think she needs to step back from tutoring atm, what she did that evening was appalling.

I think we call this batshit crazy in the MN trade. Jesus Christ almighty. This is terrifying behaviour.

Do you read into every review and make a decision based only in that review? The tutor seems to know the family quiet well if she is close to her sister-in-law.

To be honest, I’d let it go.

She has messaged you, apologised and said she won’t do it again

Having read the whole thread , I am more convinced than ever that the review needs to stay. She can’t intimidate people into removing their reviews. She is a loose cannon and if she behaves like this, I would suggest she’s not stable enough to teach children right now.

Would we expect a school teacher to behave like this in response to negative feedback? A GP? Why is it okay for a tutor running a business to do this?

People really need to think about this. You leave a negative review about somebody and they turn up at your door shouting and screaming and scaring your children. How can anyone think this is okay?! It’s inexcusable.

I don't disagree with that. I would let her go if my son wasn't doing well. I hired a piano teacher who was pushy and I had to let him go. It never occured to me to run to Google/Facebook to leave a review.

No I don’t. I look at all the reviews and make a balanced decision based on the points raised in them and, if necessary, the response of the business owner to any negative reviews.
You were the one who said one negative review could destroy a business. And then that reviews don’t matter.

@TheWineoftheChicken that's such a good point. I might not discount a business because of a bad review, it really depends on how they respond. If they seem like they want to sort things out and take on board feedback, then it's all good. This response would definitely make me look elsewhere. I'd put money on this being a pattern of behaviour though.

Wow so that OTHER tutor thinks that other parents should just be in the dark about mental health issues and dangerous behaviour of that person who is teaching theirs kids!!! All the while paying a grand a month?

they are all appalling

The negative review could negatively impact her tutoring business. She is the only one in her business. She doesn't have a book full of tutors. If a parent doesn't like one tutor there is another one waiting on the side. When it comes to their children they want the best. The tutor would be better off shutting down the Google account and starting again.

Not leaving a negative review isn’t a virtue. Leaving one isn’t a moral failing.

She is still harassing you just via colleagues now

I too do this. 'Stairs in old listed building coaching house hotel nonethelesswere uneven'. No shit sherlock (and I don't care). Fine, I'll book it.

'Bit shabby looking, no view from window.' In a hotel I am booking in a town I am getting the train to and leaving first thing in a morning and just going to stay over to attend a gig. No problem, I am just using it for a bed for the night.

'Lovely hotel but staff were rude and no WIFI' Nope. Don't care if It's £20 a night and 5 star rating 😆

I was a music teacher. When my daughter wanted piano lessons I outsourced the instructor role to another teacher. Kids need that distance, and parents need not to be the one nagging their kids to practice or to be pointing out their flaws.

Did you read the OP’s posts? The woman runs a large tutoring company and has 9 people working for her.

When it comes to your child you become a snob. You want only the best.

Like I said before, I would never trust or use a business with only positive reviews. For my child , or otherwise.

As it should!!! It’s not malicious review, it’s factual review. She can’t be expecting to make that much money off the poor quality of teaching so yeah the review should have an impact and should encourage her to change her practices and teaching approach

Please inform the LADO in your area. They will investigate this and may already have a record of her.

Wow, I left for a family gathering this evening, and some posts literally make me feel like I’m on trial in front of a 100 man jury!

I couldn’t possibly reply to every single one. I’ve decided to keep my review up.

She has just now replied to my public review, and disagreed with points made etc in a professional
manner.

Behind the scenes, I’m still pretty scared. This woman comes across completely normal, but what she’s doing behind the scenes is frightening, appalling, crossing boundaries etc

I can’t quite process the enormity of it now, outside the actual incident.

If I escalate it I bring more trouble for me and my family, if I don’t I’ve let this woman who is potentially very unsafe with mental health issues in the care of young children.

A message this those who actually read my posts. A big thank you, I didn’t just ‘dump’ her after a year, my concerns began over the last couple of months where I thought she was charging grossly unfair amounts to cover topics that should have been taught in the year we were there, and expecting kids to study 10 hours over the weekend. That’s an insane amount of tutoring for any kid, insane amount of pressure for them and financial stress for the parents. I’m so glad I removed my son when I did.

You should update the review with the crazy behaviour. This is the vital info potential clients need to know

Lots of businesses shouldn't be businesses, but people have to work, so people who are not suitable to a professional life- will, shock horror, still need to work.
It's just not sensible tanking someone's business and their life if they know what you look like and where you live- or can find out. You can report it all to the police but they are not going to do anything about unless you suffer serious harm- your choice.

Or the tutor could write a mature, professional response to the negative review for potential customers to see how she handles criticism.

I don't automatically discount a business for negative reviews...I form a balanced opinion as I recognise some negative reviews are ridiculous (I remember one negative review on a caravan site because the caravans didn't provide fish slicers...to me thats a ridiculous review but the reviewer felt it important to them)

I believe a business should be able to handle criticism, whether justified or not, its part of being a professional.