Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

@Booyou123DO NOT remove your review. Her having mental health issues is not your problem. Who has that money to waste every month on being scammed when there are honest hard working people out there that strive for results?!
the fact that so many around know of her behaviour and are being silent about it is worrying, not to start a witch hunt but your were not unreasonable in your review. I would keep it up and report her to the police that is bazaar behaviour and so unhinged on that alone I wouldn’t want her working with kids.
im Sorry but I feel like she needs to get help and this might be the only way she is forced to get it.
we’re talking about children here come on … your that genuinely worried about her and what she would do you over showing and teaching your children a lesson about what is right and wrong and what we do in these situations? Really 🤔

If this woman needs serious help with her mental health she should not be teaching children , it seems that her mental health has had an effect on her ability to teach yet she is charging extortionate fees for a substandard service. She should be getting help and if the other tutor who rang you persuading you to take your review down has any sense she should have been helping her , not making excuses for her . I have every sympathy for the woman but she should not be running a business in her condition by the sounds of it

Yes she overreacted, but you have to appreciate this is this woman's livelihood, and businesses die from even moderately negative reviews.
I would guess the review is a good deal more negative, or personal than you have mentioned- it wasn't very bright destroying a woman's business when she knows where you live.
My advice be far more circumspect with your reviews in future or you are likely to have similar trouble again- people tend to take it personally when you ruin their life.
You can't expect the respecting of professional boundaries when you ruin someone's business and their livelihood.
Although you make the police sound as if they were sympathetic I would guess they wouldn't have come out whether they had a "serious incident" or not.

She used her services for a year. Op liked her enough to continue for a year.

This !!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

This is an interesting post for me.
Reviews of everything is now the norm because of the internet.

When we leave a review everyone sees it and why not.

You paid your money for a service and you reviewed the service you paid for based on what was received from the service.
We do not know the full story behind the reason you terminated the service nor do we need to know.

Reviews are related to what you thought of the service you received and you gave what you considered an honest review of that service which can and will help others. You are not responsible for the owners mental health and their actions put you and your family in danger.
If the owner of the service only wanted positive reviews they should have said that and made it clear in writing, did they do that?

Your review will help others, we all look at reviews to inform choices from restaurants, coffee shops etc. You were investing large amounts of your money so you want to invest wisely.

i wonder whether the service is reviewed by OFSTED and if so should this incident be reported to them.

Is this a safeguarding issue that should also be raised for the safety of other children still there.
You did right to leave your review. If they do not want reviews take the facility away.

Or maybe she was a tad naive/too trusting? Teachers are human too.

There is a difference between being a teacher and tutoring for specific exams. From what I understand, the 11+ these days requires a quite specific approach, which is probably why parents engage tutors to train their children in the way of working that will give them the best chance of success.

Whether you agree with that or not, many parents do it because they believe it will be of benefit. I suppose, if the child passes, it will have been worth it, if the child doesn’t pass, maybe not. It depends whether a parent feels that the child has learned and benefited from the lessons. From what the OP has said, she feels that her child is not secure in the basics, which are the building blocks.

If we are only allowed to post positive reviews, whatever the experience, there’s little point in them.

Then she needs serious medical intervention.

Not act crazy to scare you into submission and then continue her scam tutoring practices.

I wonder if she's done this before?

Also how did this person hear about what happened? Did crazy lady tell her that she went to your house to harass you?

Honestly this stinks and I would stand your ground.

And towards the end of that year, the service became inadequate, and the OP wrote a review to that effect.
However, again irrelevant to the point I made in the post you were replying to you. On the one hand you say leaving a negative review is appalling and can destroy a business, and on the other that reviews don’t matter because people make their own minds up. Which is it? Do reviews matter or not? Is it only acceptable to leave positive reviews?

Not another one! If your business is so precarious it can’t handle a negative review , then it shouldn’t be a business. If you can’t handle bad reviews , don’t put your business up for reviews. Otherwise, what’s the point? People can’t do whatever they want , however they want and then whinge “but it’s my livelihood “.

So only positive reviews are acceptable? What’s the point of reviews then?

Go outside and touch some grass.

I wonder how many other reviews have been taken down because of her behaviour, and how many other parents have said the same as you but not in such a public way?

Leave it up, otherwise the review system fails us all.

@ThriveAT I don't think that would help the OP feel better about the harassment she experienced:

*The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review.....

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.*

She can take down the review if she wishes, but her children aren't going to forget about what happened for a while. Regardless of whether people agree with leaving negative reviews or not, the tutor needs to accept responsibility for her actions and perhaps step away from tutoring until she's in a better place.

@Violinorbanjo Surely you agree that the tutor's behavior was scummy?

OP only discovered the issue in the last month or two.

Really?

Hmmmm, wonder if she started phoning all their relatives bombarding them with messages and turning up at their house hysterical too? She sounds nuts! 😱

Why would anyone be insane enough to post their actual review which someone could then reverse search and potentially identify the OP? Crazy.

It's still a shitty way to treat someone. Your opinion doesn't make the situation come across any better. If it was me I would assume that something was going on in her life and would terminate the lessons. I wouldn't make it worse for her. I hope whatever the tutor is going through she works it out and comes back stronger. I would imagine she is feeling embarrassed by her behaviour and allowing the op to get to her. Like another poster said teachers are human as well.

Agree. People invent so much extra crap on MN to support their own made-up hypothesis. They almost delude themselves!

My opinion? I haven’t given one. I’m just trying to figure out if you think only positive reviews are acceptable and if so, what the fuck is the point of reviews if you’re not getting an accurate representation of people’s experiences with the business?

Sorry to hear that you have experienced this. However, it is your right to give an honest and fair appraisal of the service you received. Which you did. Do not allow others to pressurise you into taking your review down-other parents have a right to know that you were paying (through the nose) for a service that you did not receive. You will be doing other parents a disservice by removing your honest comments. I am sorry that this tutor is experiencing MH issues but this is not your fault. Let's be honest if you had know that she was unable to fulfil her contract and would react so badly to your comments, you probably would not have hired her.

For goodness sakes report all of this to the police immediately. Including the call you got from this other tutor. The fact they have now confirmed she has all these mental health issues is even more concerning given her job. She can’t go around behaving like this every time someone doesn’t agree with her.