Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

I think you should contact the LADO regrading her behaviour (OP will know this as a primary teacher, Local Authority Designated Officer for allegations of anyone working with children who display such red flag behaviour).

As an aside that is crazy money for 11 plus tuition!

Leaving reviews is absolutely pointless if it’s only deemed acceptable to leave positive reviews.

THIS THIS THIS all day long👆. Forget the google review completely. This tutor lady should NOT be around children. If a teacher employed in a school acted this way they would quite rightly be suspended pending investigation.

You don't write negative reviews? Thats fine for you.

Personally, I like seeing a business with both positive and negative reviews. It helps me to form a balanced opinion if I want to use a company or not.

Someone who runs their own business should be able to deal with reviews that they don't agree with without turning up at the home of the person who wrote the review, uninvited, banging, shouting and upsetting the children.

That is unprofessional and unacceptable behaviour and in no circumstances understandable or justified. And if that is how the individual behaves, they shouldn't be running a professional business.

The op also said she's a teacher. Why don't she teach her own child if she knows the curriculum and standards set in exams. Why spend a whole year with a tutor if she's shit. Didn't the op see that in the first couple of months she is a teacher herself.

Yep. What I've learned from this thread is that it's entirely pointless to check reviews before engaging any kind of service. Because apparently it's entirely unreasonable and mean to leave anything other than 5* and glowing recommendations.

I suspect that in Mumsnet land it's only unreasonable and mean if the service provider is a woman, though.

I'm a nurse. I still take my kids to the hospital if they need it.

My brother in law is a chef. We still eat out and get takeaways....

I would never use a business that only has positive reviews.

We live in an 11 plus area and my kids took the exam many years ago.
We had never heard of tutoring when my first child took the exam and DC passed well.
We used some tutoring for subsequent children having moved to an area where tutoring was common, although it was unusual to tutor for years on end.
In hindsight, I really don't think the tutoring made any real difference to how the children performed.
Are there still any parents who believe this?
What do parents do who can't afford tutoring?

Wouldn't you give it try for a couple of months to see if the tutor works well with your child. My son had a piano teacher I felt he was too pushy but others loved his teaching style. I am capable of making decisions and giving people a chance regardless of whether the reviews are good or not. They have to be able to work with my child a review is not going to tell me whether they can or not.

How is that relevant to the actual point I made in my post that you replied to?

In your position I would update the review to include her reaction.

The company I work for gets quite a few negative reviews, unfortunately the people we work for are usually in a heightened emotional state so it’s understandable that a small mistake can get blown out of all proportion to them. We simply comment on the negative ones that they’re welcome to contact us and we’ll try to resolve it, we still get customers because people understand that a negative review isn’t necessarily a balanced view of the business and we have lots of positive reviews too. People looking for a tutor will understand that the type of parents who pay for a tutor usually have high expectations and may be angry or unreasonable if their child doesn’t get the required marks, or they’re told their kid isn’t as bright as they think they are. One negative review won’t harm an otherwise successful business.

Nym checks out.

Why did you continue to use her for a whole year if she was so bad you felt justified in leaving a bad review about her?

She massively overreacted but I can see why she's confused and upset.

Reviews means nothing. My experience and common sense is the judge not a review.

Do not take it down. The woman needs serious help and you’d be doing a disservice to take that down and let another family fall into the exploitative trap.

By that logic, why is she sending her child to school at all?🙄

No. There is no justification.

So it doesn’t matter that she left a negative review then? Because they don’t mean anything anyway?

I am flabbergasted by responses. In general, the tutor is unprofessional and this should be reported to the NCTL for multiple reasons. She should not be allowed to teach students.

Why are posters so unable to see that this woman is running an exploitative program? I’ve heard of these but never known someone who has actually ended up being a victim.

I am sorry OP. You need to stand your ground. You know you’re right.

Op needs to work. You would have thought having first hand experience with the education system she would know what is expected.

Nope, i would rather have a conversation and a trial period first before making my mind up.

If her mental health is so unstable that one negative review causes her to spiral uncontrollably then she should not be teaching children one on one.

Leave your review up and do not pay heed to her flying monkeys.

But earlier you were saying how awful it was that she left a negative review? But also reviews don’t matter because people can figure it out for themselves? Bit confused TBH.