Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Tangent, but DH and I run our own small business. I still fully support people's right to leave an honest review. If someone were unhappy with our service, I'd hope they'd raise it with us first and give us the opportunity to rectify the situation, but if they're still not satisfied, they should be free to leave a review about their experience with us.

A few negative reviews won't break a business. Consumers know that you'll almost always have someone who has a bad experience (or a chip on their shoulder). People are more likely to take the time to leave a review if they're either upset or exceptionally pleased, so you take reviews with a grain of salt. I wouldn't refuse to go to a business just because they had a couple of unhappy reviewers. If there's an obvious pattern of unhappy customers, however, that would put me off—and that's as it should be. From the other side, if I'm getting many negative reviews, I shouldn't be blaming the reviewers but looking for the problem and ways I can improve.

I see what you’re trying to say, but sod it if the chips were burnt the chips were burnt. That owner should have just acknowledged the burnt chips - not hunted you down and told you you’re damaging a local business. Local businesses are vital and good reviews are vital, but honest reviews also are too. And reading a review about burnt chips would not put me off a place. But knowing the owner had hunted you down would. We all need to be more comfortable with criticism and feedback, positive and negative. It doesn’t all have to be so polarising. Whenever I read snarky owner responses to negative reviews I don’t want to go there. When I read gracious responses with humility or a want to do better, or one that respectfully disagrees and explains the situation, I do.

I think this was an honest review. Seems like this tutor ramps up the costs in a last minute kind of way to cause panic and in a sense that of course the parents will feel they have to pay. I had a similar thing when I was learning to drive and after quite a few months my parents asked oh do you know ‘mirror signal manoeuvre’ yet? And I didn’t… I’d been working so hard at my part time job to fund the lessons and suddenly the test was coming and it was oh no you’ll need double lessons because you aren’t ready etc but unless my parents had pointed this out, I would have carried on paying and trusted the instructor who appeared to be taking my money just to let me have a little drive of his car on quiet roads.

It’s because OP has had the effrontery to put her child in for the 11 plus, when she should know her place and send him to a “normal school”.

That is also why the same posters are falling over themselves to tell her her son is an ignoramus who couldn’t pass the 11 plus if his life depended on it, despite absolutely no evidence to suggest this in the OP (and nothing to suggest he or anyone else actually needs £800 with of catch-up tutoring either - sounds like this is a scam the tutor pulls on every parent to try to screw more money out of them).

💯

I would take down the bad review.

I wouldn’t take the review down.

In fact, I would escalate to Dept of Education, DBS and the police and do her for harassment and abuse of the Data Protection Act / GDPR for using your information to come to your house and do what she did. I would also contact the ICO as well for good measure.

Unforgivable really.

But what I’m trying to say is… a very different side to the story

Because if they are working full time maybe they don’t have the time to dedicate and would rather pay someone?!

And reward bad behaviour?

OP you don’t have to take the review down because of her mental health issues. If anything you need to leave it up. If she’s so unhinged by one bad review she shouldn’t be working with children

So you think the OP is lying and the woman didn’t turn up on her doorstep at 9.45pm ranting and raving? Probably no point engaging with the thread if you think it’s fiction.

OP you are completely within your rights to leave a bad review - only you know if it was fair and factual but I am going to assume it is. So many businesses these days expect a 5* review irrespective of the actual service delivered and frankly that’s not how it works.

From what you have described this was a total scam designed to make you pay more money and her behaviour was totally unhinged and unprofessional. If her mental health is very bad, that is awful for her, however you can’t have somebody with no level of control working with children.

I would report the matter to whomever you can in an official capacity. IOS for a start for a GDPR breach using your personal information inappropriately. If she’s the boss that makes things harder but are there any regulatory bodies? Anybody she’s affiliated with? I would also formally log a complaint with the police / get a formal report.

I am very sympathetic to mental health issues having suffered myself but you can’t have people that can’t regulate their behaviour working with children whatever the reason.

What? Are you ever reading the same thread? Maybe it’s your language skils that need help if you can’t understand op’s posts.

Many children are a lot more receptive to an external tutor than their own parents, and a professional tutor will have years of experience of the type of questions to expect in the test. I paid a good tutor for this reason for both my dc.

Should she call MI5 while she's at it?! This is so OTT.

No

i think that there is probably a very compelling other side to the story. No big deal

And I think that however ‘peculiar’ the OP is, however many companies she writes bad reviews about, there is still absolutely no excuse for turning up at her house at night ranting.

No, the banging on the door is bad, I think.

If it was quite like that sure

wow you have really got the OP’s back here! 😁

There’s no other side that justifies that kind of behaviour. None.

I’m just confused about your point! You said you’re not suggesting she’s lying about the tutor turning up at 9.45pm, but also saying ‘if it was quite like that sure’, so I can’t make out if you think it happened or not!

Is she registered with a professional body or association? (If not you should never have hired her, but stables, horses)
If so, report her
Make a formal complaint of harassment to the police
I personally would edit my review to include this behaviour, but can understand that you might not want to

And actually, I haven’t shown any support for the OP herself. I’ve said that regardless of what the OP wrote, or how reasonable her complaint was, there’s nothing that justifies the tutor behaving as she did. Anti tutor, not pro OP.

Is there a professional body for tutors?

I think you are going on how privileged you are by leaving a review. You could have moved on rather than stick a knife in her back. It's tough times for many people. What doesn't work for you and your child could work for someone else. I think it's a shitty way to treat someone. I don't agree with her reaction but I do feel sorry for her. She relies on her business. You was with her for a year if you didn't like her move on and find someone else. I haven't got it in me to be so arrogant to ruin someone else's income.