Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

This👆

OP, If your 'friend' hates second hand books, tell her never to visit Hay-on-Wye. She would have kittens 😂.

I wouldn’t have wanted a second hand present for a child either but I also wouldn’t have told you I would have just been polite and said thank you

Your error was to tell her it was a chazza find(a lovely one) what you should have told this snob was it was a carefully sourced vintage edition. Bet she wouldn't have been so fecking rude then.

How incredibly classless of her

Your friend is absolute trash for being so unbelievably rude.

Surely everyone on earth knows that if you receive a gift that you're not keen on, you just politely thank the person who gave it anyway.

Then shove it in the bin or up your own arse if you so wish. But the gift giver does not need to know.

I'd never ever give anything to her again. I know it's her child rather than her but frankly it's shocking. Imagine being so materialistic and low life.

What a twat. I have spent A Lot of money on second books in the past and you got a gorgeous one from a charity shop.

Obviously not everyone likes secondhand items and a proportion of people will not appreciate them.

So that is a small risk when gifting them.

However - and I think this is far more important - sending an ungrateful ride message like your friend did is unspeakably nasty. She must have known how you would feel (unless she's a sociopath) and that you were well intentioned.

If you were posting here saying she had expressed gratitude but you later discovered she had returned it to a charity shop and were embarrassed I would feel it was very unfortunate. What she did was entirely different and there's no excuse for it.

I'd reply

"I was very surprised to get this message. I didn't reply at the time as I was so hurt and taken aback. We obviously feel differently about the gift which is fine but that message is not fine - far from it.

‘I would have gladly taken it back/ swapped it for a new book; its value was in its unusual vintage nature’.

Initially I thought this was the best suggested response. But now I'm all in favour of the 'actually that book was very valuable' response. But I'd wait until the bin men have collected before sending it!

No need for the "cow" imo.

It was AWFUL of her to throw the book away. Really shocking. She wouldn't be a friend of mine after she did that

I'm surprised you thought she was someone who would appreciate pre loved items as she obviously REALLY hates them

Sounds like a lovely gift, I would have treasured it! I had a similar situation with an ex work colleague, hey ho. It's not you. For some people they are so short sited about having to have new stuff. If everyone thought like you were would have less excess stuff, less waste and a better future for our children. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

"up your own arse" 😂

Your friend is wrong.
I think it was a lovely gesture and it is a real shame she threw the book away. It sounds as though she values new things more than books and things with a history.

That's so horrible and hurtful 💐

Old books aren’t everyone’s cup of tea but it was well meaning, I think she was very rude to admit to throwing it away, if someone told me that I think I’d unfriend them.

She’s very rude as well as ignorant.

She could have at least given it back to you.

You could ask her to get it out of her recycling. I would.

Secondhand pants or socks? Ew. But a book? Vintage books are very much AThing™️. YANBU

Made me sick reading that!

She’s a numpty. No more gifts 🎁 if that was a friend of mine.

She is vile. Ask her for the book back. I really hope she hasn't binned it. What an awful thing to do xx

I rarely buy new books these days, there's nothing I love more that rooting in the book section of a charity shop! I was on holiday recently and the hotel had a bookcase in reception with a selection of books that holidaymakers have read and didn't want to bring home, it makes perfect sense, like some kind of book swapshop. I bought my charity shop book on holiday and on the day of departure I left my book on the bookcase for others to enjoy if they so wish! Your friend is being a dick

Your friend is a rude, ungrateful, shallow idiot.

I once took a primary school assembly all about "which book would you prefer?" I showed them two books: one new, colourful, shiny and the other old and well-worn, which I had bought in a charity shop. Of course they nearly all said they would prefer the new book. Then I told them how I would prefer the old book because it had survived all those years and obviously been read many, many times, so it must be good. It was a revelation to the children and in the following weeks, even years, sometimes a child would come to me to show me a tatty old book treasured in their family, or a book they had bought in a charity shop.

”Oh dear, it seems we’re not on the same page when it comes to vintage books. Hope it wasn’t worth anything, too late now it’s in the bin 😁 Hope Balonz likes the other books. Don’t worry, they are brand new from Waterstones 🤪”

Just give him some haribo next year. If you’re still friends 😆

ETA damn it, I’ve just seen someone has already named the kid Bilious.

She’s not your friend. I would dump her immediately!

Your friend is a mindless, ungrateful idiot who should know better.

She made a fool of herself OP, not you.