So how much sex are you all having in your 40’s???

[Imnotdrunkyouare]

Just been chatting to friends about sex and it varies so much between us all. Some of them don’t have sex for months and some of them all the blinking time. I’ve been with my hubby for 23 years and I still fancy him and want sex a few times a week. What’s everyone else doing in their 40’s??

29 and sexless. Pretty sure there's cobwebs down there.

43, together 20 years. 3-6 times per month. Quantity not very high but quality definitely is

1-2 times per week, sure he’s like more though!
I mainly do enjoy it but just feel tired in evenings, small kids etc

43

3 times in the last 8 years

I’m fat and unfanciable

41. I am fairly recently divorced and have a new partner of around 18 months. Honestly I'm having more and better sex than ever. I'd say 10 times a week at the moment. Fully expecting it to dwindled but enjoying it whilst it lasts.

None for 3 years. My partner reckons has pssd. Although not got a formal diagnosis or tried to get treatment for it.

I think more likely it is just me. I know he isn't attracted to me anymore. And now after all this time and crying about it, I don't fancy him either. I plan to leave soon. I can't live like this anymore. But saying that I will probably be sexless for the rest of my life as I can't see anyone else fancying me, especially if my own partner doesn't. And I don't trust other men anymore after seeing what they are like online from so many women.

Most days

43, between 2-3 times a week and 2-3 times a month. Always a cluster around ovulation- he must sense it!

I’ve been with my dh 8 years and had far more sex with him than I ever did with my previous husband of 16 years! Although that’s definitely because he actually likes me rather than just using me as a tool to achieve a purpose.

I am absolutely confident that threads like this are always heavily populated by people having loads of sex as it’s a more positive response, almost seen something to be proud of. So it depends what you want from this and why you think you need to know. If you’re happy with how often you have sex then it doesn’t matter what other people do.

im the same. 43. Divorced from a sexless marriage and with new partner having sex every time I see him and it is amazing. Made me realise what I’ve been missing out on

Exactly! And had I known how much better it could’ve been (not just sex) I’d have split from my ex years ago. I think it’s important to share that a potential outcome for people who might be where I was.

with my ex, both 39, after 13 years - none.
now 44, both - all the time, very unusual that i am for real attracted to him not just horny

49 and 2-4 times a week, married 23 years, together 26.

We’re in a really good place in our marriage but like many couples we’ve had ups and downs, intense spells and lean spells depending on what life’s been throwing at us. When life was hard, and we weren’t supporting each other as well as we could have been, we’ve gone for months without. When our communication is good, and we are pulling together, it enhances the joy we get from each other which naturally leads to more sex.

We’ve worked hard on rediscovering ourselves and our relationship over the last couple of years and, this may sound twee and boastful, but I’m proud of us.

edited for a typo

49 and none
widowed 5 years

Barely these days with a 16 year old around. He’s always here and there and the timing never seems right. Live for the days when he goes to his dads in the holidays.

30 & no sex since I was 27

I’m in my fifties and have not had sex since my 30s. Been married for almost 30 years.

Early 40s and around once or twice a month. Both busy, blended family and pretty much always have a house full of children ranging from mid teens to under 10. A few years ago this used to bother me but I have got used to it now, DH seems to accept it as well.

Two or three times over a weekend, rarely in the week.

As little as possible. Completely gone off it. I’m 46.

Why do you ask? This is a really odd question. I do like a nice rich tea biscuit.

45 Twice a month roughly, Dh travels a lot for work, small kids, both knackered. But it’s always excellent when we do. Marriage is very happy anyway. We did have to have some serious chats about it though because at one point we were going months without having sex and it was really getting me down.

I do wonder which way around it is though, you aren’t having sex because the marriage is unhappy or is the marriage unhappy because you aren’t having sex, had to ask myself that question and for me the only thing missing was the lack of sex but it was making me question the marriage and deeply impacted on my self esteem.

DH and I both 44. Ebbs and flows but maybe 3 times a week.

This is a huge amount for us though as we went for 4 years with zero intimacy when children were babies. It led to the brink of an affair and almost destroyed our family.

so I do now realise how important sex is in a marriage. But equally, lots of things have to align for it to happen, and things like resentment can cause it to stop.

I find the more you have it the more you want it. Just need to get into some kind of rhythm.

If we go a few weeks without it, I start feeling like I could happily never do it again.

39 (40 later this year) last had sex with wife (been together 16 years) July 25 previous to that November 23. Hopefully she just saves it for odd numbered years so 2027 😉

42, together 24 years and married for 20 with one teenage boy! Probably 3-4 times a week, have a fabulous time of it!