So how much sex are you all having in your 40’s???

[Imnotdrunkyouare]

Just been chatting to friends about sex and it varies so much between us all. Some of them don’t have sex for months and some of them all the blinking time. I’ve been with my hubby for 23 years and I still fancy him and want sex a few times a week. What’s everyone else doing in their 40’s??

45. None. Single since 2018. I could get plenty if I wanted, but I don't want. I've turned two men from the school run down lately and that's awkward enough, never mind actually having to touch them.

But you just said once every 1 - 2 weeks, which is a very high frequency for sex.

45. Once every couple of months on average. I still fancy him and him me but perimenopause means I’m not super horny although once I get going it’s very good lol. Also we have a teenager and it’s tricky. Our friends said to us the other week what do you do about sex when they start going to bed later. I was like it’s not just us then 🤣

That isn’t a very high frequency by any stretch of the imagination.

It’s almost a sexless marriage.

What? 🤷‍♀️

I have been super sexual in my 40s so its pretty much daily.

I am in no way suggesting everyone should do that though, we are all different

43
married 20 years, together 22
usually 3 times a week but not when I’m on my period

we've worked on this, being together since quite young when you’re at it all the time then being pregnant, having babies and being fucking tired my libido dropped (hasn’t massively recovered) whereas he’s the same as he was when he was 23! We had a few fights about it years ago but found a way through that worked for us both and now in a good place

How on earth is that a high frequency for sex? Sex on a near weekly basis is crazy.

I wouldn't know what was going on if sex was a weekly event.

Then if by any chance you are being serious, daily would really blow your mind.

That is very high frequency for sex.

You must think I am a sex maniac then....

… and me! I began to think we were talking about a weekend.

I knew @shuggles would be drawn to this thread. Anything with the word sec in it.

He is a man. In his thirties. Single. And has very very peculiar views on a whole host of issues. Best just skirted over.

None. I was a single parent all the way through my 40's.
Didn't (still don't) miss it as I was so busy / tired.

Mid 40s, no sex since at least 5 years ago, that's before and since my marriage ended. I don't miss it at all. Don't want the bother.

46, been with partner 7 years. Usually a few times a week but during stressful times can be once a week. No pressure from either of us.
we’re very physically affectionate which I feel is more important than sex

Is it?? Oh god, I feel bad now. I struggle massively with it. Late 40s, two small children, full time job. Sex just doesn't cross my mind.

Don't feel bad. I don't think it's unusual. I am mid 40s, youngest is 3 and since she was born it's once a month at most (sometimes less - last time was early August for example). We are very affectionate with each other, hug a lot and are close but we are just too knackered for sex right now. I'm not too worried about it as I know we are on the same page..

Haven't had sex since my early 30s. Or regularly since my mid 20s. I'm nearly 45.

48 and single/divorced. None at all, except by myself 😉.

I'm too lazy to go out and start a new relationship (if anyone is daft enough to have me) and I'm not the sort for casual hook-ups. So, rock & hard place (no pun intended).

41, married 13 years, two eight year olds. Around 1-3 times a week.

Mostly 2-3 times in a week, but that might be none all week then 4 time in a weekend.

@Pipsthegame I recall someone on this site saying that she finds it unmasculine whenever men are unable to go for sex for a long time.

And yet, here we have a thread in which once every 1 - 2 weeks is supposedly very infrequent. It's difficult to make sense of all this.

But you wade in to say that 1-2 a week in astonishingly high and not normal.

@shuggles you have issues around women, sex and loads of other issues . I don’t think Mumsnet is the place for you.

So on the basis that you recollect one poster in the past making a weird post - you decided to join this thread exclaiming with horror that 1-2x a week is abnormally high @shuggles ?

God these threads are ultimately so pointless, and yet they crop up as regularly as clockwork.

What are you goung to do with the answer, OP? Work out an average? If its 3.72 times a week are you going to harangue your partner because you're doing it more or less than that?

Honestly, if you're comfortable as a couple with every night or every two months that's perfect, otherwise, who cares?