WWYD: Giant armoured mum spider (assumed) with eggs has taken over my egg chair

[Flupitude]

For various reasons I didn't get a chance to use my super duper expensive double egg chair last year. On Saturday DH hosed it down and pulled it out into the middle of the garden, jet washed the cushion, left it out to dry.

DS had a quick lie in it just now and came in casually mentioning that DH had missed a spider. A shiny spider.

I've gone out to check and the spider looks like something out of Aliens. It's huge. It does indeed have a super shiny exterior, the longest legs, it has spun a protective layer over itself and it has positioned itself over a giant sphere, which I can only assume to be its eggs.

DH wants to jet wash it off and while I agree on some level, on another level it just feels quite wrong. It's mumming.

But I've waited two years to sit on my egg chair. I've rustled up my book and everything. What do I do?

What would you do?

I'm currently sitting in a camping chair next to my egg chair. DH and DS laughing at me. How long until the eggs hatch? Shall I just wait for them to hatch? We can jet wash them then no?

It's been relocated to a woodpile.

I once accidentally painted an enormous spider blue when I was painting the shed. I worried that the paint would kill it. I was though happy to see it in the garden for weeks afterwards and the blue eventually sort of grew out - as if it was covered in hair and it was growing out a bad dye job. I would have felt very guilty if it had died.

blimey, that’ll be keeping flies and mozzies out of your garden all summer!

My mother once did the same with a mouse that was cowering in the corner of her car port. It got rollered with white paint. It was fine!

Totally agree. And all the performative guff about caring about spiders, being worried about killing them, sad when they die is total bullshit as well.

“particularly as they don't go around killing things just because they don't like the look of them/find them mildly inconvenient.”

This is such a good description of what is going on in the world today. So very true, unfortunately.

Tbf some kill their mates for sustenance once they've had their jollies

I'd be worried that you've left it fairly near to your home and the baby spiders will come in to your house at some point. Then again, I have a lifelong phobia of spiders that has my husband asking if I've checked the bedroom every night to reassure myself that there are no spiders anywhere near.

Yes, but that's an evolutionary behaviour, presumably as it somehow helps the species - it's not done for the hell of it or because they just don't like the look of their mate.

I had a spider mummy in the corner of my bedroom last year. I was really sad when I went to bed one day, and she'd gone. I assumed I'd missed the hatching, but they all hatched the next morning. IDK why mum left early. Maybe my room was too cold, and they hadn't hatched by the time she thought they would.

I was hoping she would come back this year, but there's no sign of her yet.

I'd love a pet spider, but DD threatened to move out if I did. I am undecided whether that's a bonus or not

So, according to you, anyone who feels differently about things than you do is just being performative. I see. Can you not allow for the possibility that not everyone reacts the same way to the same things?

We don't really know what motivates spiders to do anything, do we? And considering they presumably lack the capacity for moral reasoning, we can probably assume they're not weighing up the pros and cons of doing X or y, or researching more ethical ways to kill their prey. I'm not sure how we would go about modelling our society on spiders.

Lots of species become more aggressive towards other species due to fear. E.g hippos kill lots of humans, but they don't eat them. Maybe spiders do an equivalent thing too, how can we possibly know?

Well exactly. Spiders presumably can't make moral judgements, but people can, and they still choose to kill things for the hell of it or because they find certain creatures "disgusting". People make a deliberate choice to be cruel/horrible. That's why I dislike humans as a species.

Speaking sense also false widows endanger our own species.
Get rid

They are the fastest replicating spider across Europe !!

Wow that's terrible I've heard of many spider bites like this from false widows.

Fair enough, I agree that as humans have the capacity for moral judgement, we have the responsibility to try and not cause pain/suffering.

I have lots of respect for vegans, who choose to reduce the suffering their lifestyle requires by eating a plant based diet, not buying leather products etc. I'm not vegan myself, I'm vegetarian and mostly plant based, I agree with trying to reduce the suffering we cause and maybe this thread will make me think twice when I see a non venemous spider in the bath.

I don't understand why people would worry so much about spiders but not about how more sentient species suffer in slaughter houses. But if they're worried about both of those things then fair enough.

All life involves some suffering, in nature animals die in a variety of horrible ways. I agree with trying to reduce the suffering we cause, but I still wouldn't want a wasp nest in my kitchen or a false widow nest in my conservatory. But both of those things could harm me so I don't think that's illogical, cruel or heartless etc.

I'm with you on that. I am vegan. I avoid causing harm wherever possible. But even non vegans can be justified in trying not to cause any extra harm.

Now you really are showing your ignorance.
I'm not exactly a fan of spiders myself but they are amazing and helpful creatures and I certainly wouldn't kill one just because it was a living thing that I didn't like!

Exactly. The world would be a much more miserable place if spiders didn't exist.

I've also known more people to get seriously infected bites from cats but people would be up in arms about killing one I found in the garden.

Of course people would be more up in arms about you killing a cat, it's a vertebrate, presumably more capable of feeling pain than a spider, it's more predictable and it's not going to reproduce rampantly in your house or garden. Maybe it might have a few litters if it's not neutered but it's not going to be producing hundreds of offspring multiple times throughout it's life.

False widows are invasive and may actually reduce numbers of native spiders by out competing them. So if you're a big fan of house spiders, maybe you don't want the false widows taking over. I'm scared of both but I'd prefer to keep the native species.

Personally I don't like cats in my garden either as we've got the sparrows. I don't think it's surprising that people would react differently to a cat versus a venemous, non native spider with a big egg sack though.

Actually - one female unneutered cat, left to reproduce at an average number of kittens per year, half male half female, and if all the kittens survive and go on to reproduce at an average rate, you will end up with 21,000 cats in seven years.

In practice of course most kittens born outside die/are predated before reaching maturity, and the colony would be limited by starvation long before that number is reached, but still...

I absolutely agree with not neutering cats and just letting them breed uncontrolled. But spider populations are still going to increase more quickly, spiders are more likely to cause an infestation. And invasive species are presumably more likely to reach very high numbers more quickly as they're less likely to have natural predators? (Although technically aren't cats invasive too?). I am just being pedantic though as I think we're in agreement! I don't want to be unnecessarily cruel to cats or false widows and I also don't want either to be breeding uncontrolled in my house/garden!

I would absolutely judge people more harshly for killing a cat in their garden though, even an unneutered one, because I'd assume there's more suffering involved in killing a cat than in killing a spider, and because the cat situation is easier to deal with humanely (contact the owner or call a rescue etc).