WWYD: Giant armoured mum spider (assumed) with eggs has taken over my egg chair

[Flupitude]

For various reasons I didn't get a chance to use my super duper expensive double egg chair last year. On Saturday DH hosed it down and pulled it out into the middle of the garden, jet washed the cushion, left it out to dry.

DS had a quick lie in it just now and came in casually mentioning that DH had missed a spider. A shiny spider.

I've gone out to check and the spider looks like something out of Aliens. It's huge. It does indeed have a super shiny exterior, the longest legs, it has spun a protective layer over itself and it has positioned itself over a giant sphere, which I can only assume to be its eggs.

DH wants to jet wash it off and while I agree on some level, on another level it just feels quite wrong. It's mumming.

But I've waited two years to sit on my egg chair. I've rustled up my book and everything. What do I do?

What would you do?

I'm currently sitting in a camping chair next to my egg chair. DH and DS laughing at me. How long until the eggs hatch? Shall I just wait for them to hatch? We can jet wash them then no?

Mmmm there are quite a few spiders who kill and eat their own mothers. They also suck their prey dry while alive.

Burn the house and garden.

On MN, people often say 'move house' when you have horrible neighbours.

This is the one time I'd actually consider it 🤣

If you are brave enough, you can scoop up mum and egg sac with a cup, and move them somewhere else. She will carry her sac off to find somewhere more suitable

That does look like a false widow egg sac - they are round white and fluffy

[Spider photo below warning]

like this :
https://www.alamy.com/false-widow-spider-steatoda-capensis-with-egg-sacs-image456262989.html

If it is a false widow I'd be very careful and be inclined to spray it with an insecticide as the bites can be nasty and you don't want a stash of them hatching in your garden. Read this about a nasty false widow bite - if you arent squeamish the Sun and the Mail Online have the same story with a photo of the bite but it's very unpleasant - literally as they say a hole:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/false-widow-spider-bite-london-b1283160.html

It could be the dead male left for food for the babies, have you seen it move? I haven't seen a spider web itself in like that. If so you might be able to remove the whole thing and but it in a cardboard box or something to do what it has to do.

Definitely alive. Dead spiders curl. She’s guarding her sac. Spiders are actually very devoted mothers (the ones who aren’t eaten by their young anyway)

Depends on how big garden is ,are you in South how young are your own DC.
A man who was bitten by one in his work shop had serious issues and sprays his work shop every year now.
I've heard many people get ill from false widow bites and they are very good at spreading fast thats the problem there are so many of them !

The ones who allow themselves to get eaten in various terrifying ways by their young are the particularly devoted ones imo.

🤮

True. I was going to add that but still

Definitely alive. When the chair swings she adopts battle stance over the eggs. It’s a big garden and the chair is quite far away from the house. How far is far enough?

My 80 year old mother has offered to relocate it. Should I take her up on her offer? Too much?

Cute! I love spiders.

I'd leave them be, they'll be off and away soon enough then you can relocate mum and have your chair back.

If your mother feels ok doing it, let her. Not with her bare hand, mum will be protecting her babies, but just carefully scoop up mum and the sac. Once she’s released, she will pick the sac up and carry it off to find somewhere secure. Release her in some bushes or somewhere where she can find protection

I think my concern with leaving it is the probability of a good number of the thousands of babies due to hatch considering it a good place to continue the family line.

Also it's huge.

We've considered sawing off that bit of the egg chair. Metal pole tho...

There is a big log pile nearby which we'd proudly built 5 years ago as a wildlife habitat. It could have a nice life...

Not allowing elderly mum at it though. Just in case it jumps.

I am considering doing it with spider catcher, which has soft nylon bristles.

Is there a risk that my disturbing it could make them hatch while I'm carrying it?

Maybe I could advertise on the local FB group for volunteers...?

I have a similar situation with my washing line, I’ve named her Big Bertha. She hasn’t laid eggs yet and is mostly active at night, but I’m very weary with hanging my clothes out and I shake them before bringing them in. I don’t leave my washing overnight as I’m sure her lovers would rub their willies on them 😫

I think I’d need a back up plan for the spider vac- a large bucket and towel so I could drop the vac into it and throw the towel over it if it went pear shaped.

I mention this as when I do the tub and glass method, that sometimes gets a bit hairy. I have been known to accidentally throw the pot out of the window, with the spider.

I have never seen anything like that . It is huge 😧 How many babies usually come out of that . I would want to destroy it but can't see how you can move it safely. You better call an estate agent and move out .

In the words of Willy Wonka: 'I know a worse one'...

There are.

There are also plenty of humans who kill their own mothers, cannabilise other humans, do unspeakable things to kids.

All while having a much larger brain and more capability to do better. Let's not try to glorify ourselves here. For many, a spider's main crime is not looking anything like a human, and not having a frame of reference to know that humans possess things like chairs let alone what they look like or what they're for.

You will disturb her if you do that though OP. I doubt she'll resettle again with her eggs, she'll have built the cocoon around them and containing them. I don't see how it could be done in a way that was safe for them. You can survive without the chair for a few more days/weeks. And she'll move on once they're hatched.

I defy anyone to look at a close up of spider paws and think they're anything other than frigging adorable.

Jumping spiders give me full on cute aggression! They're so bloody squishable (and not in a killing them way!)

I assume it's not on a movable cushion. I would leave it a week personally. If it was inside I wouldn't do that, but it's outside, in its own territory. I checked the doonsday clock last bit, we're not doing well. The eco system is one of the 3 main factors.

I think you just need to accept that that is no longer your chair op

Then she'd be a moveable beast! 😄🕷

It's rather clever of her to see the name 'egg chair' and think 'Yes, don't mind if I do lay my eggs there...'.

🥚

Do they take about two or three weeks to hatch? This is better than Springwatch... I bet Michaela would have named her already...

This 100% I would stick a glass over it and slide a bit of card underneath and relocate to a remote area especially if False Widow! You don’t want hundreds of those things

OMG you're all saying different things and some of them are really funny but now I don't know what to dooooooooooooooooo!