WWYD: Giant armoured mum spider (assumed) with eggs has taken over my egg chair

[Flupitude]

For various reasons I didn't get a chance to use my super duper expensive double egg chair last year. On Saturday DH hosed it down and pulled it out into the middle of the garden, jet washed the cushion, left it out to dry.

DS had a quick lie in it just now and came in casually mentioning that DH had missed a spider. A shiny spider.

I've gone out to check and the spider looks like something out of Aliens. It's huge. It does indeed have a super shiny exterior, the longest legs, it has spun a protective layer over itself and it has positioned itself over a giant sphere, which I can only assume to be its eggs.

DH wants to jet wash it off and while I agree on some level, on another level it just feels quite wrong. It's mumming.

But I've waited two years to sit on my egg chair. I've rustled up my book and everything. What do I do?

What would you do?

I'm currently sitting in a camping chair next to my egg chair. DH and DS laughing at me. How long until the eggs hatch? Shall I just wait for them to hatch? We can jet wash them then no?

I'd be gently moving it to a more convenient (to me) location so that I could use my chair but also be able to continue to watch the spider in eager anticipation of
a play date with the spiderlings.

DH hates that I like to play with the spiders in the garden but is grateful that I will also deal with the home invasions we get every autumn. We had one so big once you could hear it tap dancing along the window sill.

I had one of those drop out of the conservatory ceiling and on to me the other day.

I brushed it off a bit smartish.

I’m terrified of them but would still leave it alone. There’s no way I could kill a creature that had given birth and was protecting its babies.

id put the cushion in the shed and use cushions from the house

I think try to identify what type it is.
If you take a picture the Natural history museum spider identification will check it for you.
They will no doubt offer advice about how to move it if need be.

It is unlikely to be a danger. But possible.
Do not randomly kill it.

ypu could be out your chair for 2-4 months according to google while it nurses it’s eggs.

i’d be trying to come up with a plan now to relocate it somewhere safe with a long handled dustpan and brush….

I was waiting for someone to bring up the willies!

Sorry everyone for the delay. I went and bought a cheap sun lounger. Bit worried about the possibility of it being a false widow. I will try to post a photo of it tomorrow.

DS asked Chat GPT if it could tell how close the spiders were to hatching and it estimates one week. Just as the weather turns but maybe they will have all grown up and left home in time for proper summer?

Set it on fire.

Setting it on fire feels like an unnecessarily sadistic response no?

Definitely a joke comment but I am absolutely petrified of spiders. One of the many reasons I have a sad blank garden 🤣

I can understand that. I’m wondering if I should just buy a new egg chair…

Cleansing fire is probably the only way.

It's an egg chair. Spider mum was just being logical.

If anyone is still following this thread here is the spider…

Aw just leave it OP. They'll be gone soon enough. I would be photographing it every day to see progress. Spiders are often excellent mothers (depending on the species).

To those saying 'disgusting creature' I really wish humans were less ignorant. If you aren't respectful of our wildlife that's bad enough, but without spiders we'd be overran with flies, would you really want that? It's also ridiculously immature 'Eeww I don't like look of that let's kill it', are you 5? Then again I am no genius but I knew about how important spiders were at that sort of age.

I loathe flies, so spiders are fine with me.

Where?

Sorry, here:

Gnarly

I agree.

This is the time that we Mumsnetters need a ‘Aaahhhh-Eeeeeewwww’ reply/emotion button, because that is just 🤢 I know it’s mumming, but it could have chosen a more appropriate location than @Flupitude egg chair! If it’s any consolation @Flupitude I’d be gutted too if I’d waited two years to use it!

I'm laughing at 'maybe they will they have all grown up and left home in time for proper summer'. 😂

Now if it was a fake widow, I’d be in a real ethical dilemma!

Are we supposed to look after them? I’ll happily protect all the others…

Could it be a wolf spider. The eggs apparently take 2-3 weeks to hatch and then she carries round the babies on her back! You need to get it off there before it hatches!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, i wouldn't want that mum in my chair.