WWYD: Giant armoured mum spider (assumed) with eggs has taken over my egg chair

[Flupitude]

For various reasons I didn't get a chance to use my super duper expensive double egg chair last year. On Saturday DH hosed it down and pulled it out into the middle of the garden, jet washed the cushion, left it out to dry.

DS had a quick lie in it just now and came in casually mentioning that DH had missed a spider. A shiny spider.

I've gone out to check and the spider looks like something out of Aliens. It's huge. It does indeed have a super shiny exterior, the longest legs, it has spun a protective layer over itself and it has positioned itself over a giant sphere, which I can only assume to be its eggs.

DH wants to jet wash it off and while I agree on some level, on another level it just feels quite wrong. It's mumming.

But I've waited two years to sit on my egg chair. I've rustled up my book and everything. What do I do?

What would you do?

I'm currently sitting in a camping chair next to my egg chair. DH and DS laughing at me. How long until the eggs hatch? Shall I just wait for them to hatch? We can jet wash them then no?

@Flupitude Meanwhile, over on Spidermumsnet, there’s an AIBU to be absolutely fuming that humans evicted me and my 400 spiderlings from our egg chair?

I can see everyone's points on this and as I say if it were indoors it would be a different story...

I guess it's a bit like when DN says thank you to Alexa so that the robots spare her when they take over. But the spider version?

I'm so sorry to those who have suffered badly from spider bites. Just horrific!

Sorry to hear that. That sounds horrendous! tbh these kind of stories have freaked me out a bit. I wasn’t really aware that spiders in this country bit people. I found the big ones a bit gross but I really wasn’t that scared of them harming me!

Once or twice in the past I have woken up with something that looks like an insect bite but assumed I got it when I was out by some kind of flying bug. Now I’m wondering if it was a spider.

I am recovering from some health issues which mean I am not able to clean as frequently or as thoroughly as before so I think I need to use the local cleaning company more to supplement my own cleans and ask them to really look under things and into corners where spiders may hide. No garden but I’ve got a balcony which the living room opens out onto. I don’t want them there either.

I have spent more than enough time in hospital beds and a&e over the last 6 months and something like that is the last thing I need to complicate things.

No they are not.

How cruel to even consider hosing it off . It's doing no harm except protecting its babies . I had a mum spider in my kitchen with. A nest , it was fascinating. We left it alone and it moved on .

You did the right thing. A false widow hospitalised me for a week, requiring surgery to my arm, leaving a huge & deep open wound that took months to heal fully and has left a huge scar, but I wouldn't kill one. I would run away and cry, but I wouldn't kill one. They'll be very happy in their new home and you can sleep at night knowing there's plenty of other things for them to eat there, very far away from you.

That's not the spiders fault, its your immunity that's at fault (sent with love!)

Ask on the British Spider Identification Group on Facebook. There's experts on there and will tell you the best way to relocate your little space invader 🕷️

I was watering the garden yesterday, I was leaning through a bit to make sure the plants at the back got watered. A friggen Garden Cross Spider (think that's the name!) had landed on my head and parachuted down, luckily I was bent over or it would have been scooching down my face 🤣 I must have literally headbutted it while it was on the web as I reached through! No panic though, safely caught in my hand, then from my leg, then back on to my hand, back on the hedge.

That group is amazing though, this time last year, they'd have found my petrified corpse and no idea why I'd died of a panic attack.

I would have to kill it but i have an arachnophobe in house 😂 spiders don’t bother me for the most part i would leave them alone but i would also not let a spider dictate where i sit 😂

I mind them! The spindly ones are worse! They always look as if their legs are in danger of…I can’t even write it…

spiders do great work. Follow your empathetic instincts and let her be.

But they can do harm, they are the most venemous spider in the UK and can put people in hospital, as several people have said on this thread. I think it would be pretty silly to let a venemous spider breed in your kitchen, especially if you have children, but I guess you do you.

They may also have the potential to harm native wildlife, as they are an invasive species: https://www.manchester.ac.uk/about/news/rapid-global-expansion-of-spider-species-could-threaten-native-wildlife-warn-scientists/

I don't think it's cruel to kill them, I think it's sensible personally. I'm curious as to whether all the people saying it's cruel to kill spiders are vegan, if not then I don't understand your logic.

Boy, this thread has been a ride ....

OP, glad it's sorted. I think spiders have a design flaw in not having an arrow on it's back to suggest which direction it's going to run, or how fast. My garage is full of them (and their webs); I wear a becoming hair bonnet if I have to go in there. But still wouldn't kill one.

I'm 75 , have never once been bitten by a spider . I've never heard that spiders in the UK are venomous quite honestly . I've always left them alone in my house , picked them up and put them outside when I have spiderphobes in the house being hysterical ! I couldn't kill any living thing just because I don't like the look of it.

I have never been so invested In a thread so much! 🤣 Such kindness OP in relocating spider mum and her babies, the world needs more people like you. Thank you for keeping us all entertained. 🤩

False widows are an invasive species from Madeira and the canary islands, they are spreading throughout the UK as the climate warms and becomes more suitable for them. Just because you have never been bitten by one doesn't mean they don't exist here, that they are not a problem here, or that they don't bite. I'm not suggesting everyone should be terrified as for most people it'll be more like a bee sting and a lot of us will probably never encounter one anyway. I just don't understand why people are saying it's cruel to kill them.

I'm not suggesting people should be killing animals just because they don't like the look of them. But if you find a wasp nest in your house would you not get pest control in?

Personally I don't agree with killing animals to eat them and I also don't agree with letting pet cats kill wildlife, so generally I'm quite pro animal welfare and conservation. But if it's a species that can do damage to me or my home, especially an invertebrate that I assume has less potential for suffering than say a pig, I'm less worried about it's welfare frankly. That's my criteria, can it do harm to me, my home, or native wildlife. Nothing to do with whether I like the look of it.

Where as to me you have that backwards. I find it odd that anyone who has specifically chosen a dietary approach specifically based on not killing animals then happily kills ones they don’t like/are scared of/ are a bit inconvenient.

dead cow = food, leather and a ton of other byproducts that are used in stuff
A dead spider just equals a dead spider (and in this case about 150 orphaned babies!)

my issue with false widows is that they do tend to push out other spider species and wolf spiders are more fun

I'm glad to see that mum and her eggs have been safely relocated. Thank you for not killing her!

There's no reason to fear false widows - having the 'widow' part really does them dirty. Every spider (apart from hackled orb weavers) are venomous. Everything with teeth - or fangs - can bite. There is nothing with dangerous venom in the UK. Secondary infections can occur due to bacteria. They are reluctant to bite. If you fear spiders, try picking one up and you'll realise how averse they are too getting onto humans. The only scenario where you'll get bitten is if they think it's life or death.

You will get horror stories in news articles every spring about spider bites and every autumn about 'giant home invading spiders'. It's to sell drama. Admire your local spiders, let them do their thing.

I'm typing this, sitting about a metre away from an actually unpleasantly venomous spider...but that's cause she's an indian ornamental tarantula...and even then, she would just give me a few very unpleasant days if she bit me. She wouldn't kill me. And she would only bite me if I put her in harms way. And there's no wild versions of her roaming around the british countryside.

What a great thread. Thank you, OP. Glad you relocated the spider.
I would not be able to sit on that chair again.

I think you should eat your breakfast outside so you could add more eggs to this story.

I don't happily kill animals that I don't like. I have a phobia of spiders, it's actually quite annoying as I struggle to get near them. My partner took two spiders out of the bathroom last night, at my request, they weren't false widows. I would much prefer to do that.

I do think people like to virtue signal about things like this though. The reality is that we kill things all the time, we kill snails when we step on them, people kill pests on our behalf when they grow our crops, spiders themselves kill prey, often in quite slow ways. Life is generally quite cruel.

Cows have a demonstrably higher cognitive and emotional capacity than spiders — they form social bonds, show signs of grief, experience fear and anticipation, and have complex nervous systems capable of significant suffering. That's why I'm more empathetic towards cows, pigs, chickens than I am towards spiders.

Anyway, I'm clearly derailing the thread. I'm not suggesting everyone go round squashing every spider they see and that's not what I do either. I'm just confused by the fact that people will happily munch a ham sandwich, laugh at tiddles bringing in a field mouse, but get all upset about someone killing one invasive spider.

I do agree with you about them pushing out other spiders being an issue though. I don't actually hate all spiders, I just have a very annoying phobia of them.

Why are they disgusting?

I'm so glad you relocated them safely. That is a Good Thing.

I am not a fan of spiders, and being Australian had good reason to fear quite alot of them. But we had a lovely old large spider living behind our toilet cistern for a couple of years and became quite fond of him. He was very scared of us at first and would scurry and hide when we came into the room, but eventually realised we meant him no harm and so would hang out with us while we did our business. I was terribly sad when he died.

I'm not a fan of humankind tbh and the sheer destruction we wreak on everyone else. (And yes, am vegetarian). I recall once accidentally squashing a spider nest when I was enthusiastically cleaning and the mum spider ran out towards the nest from where she had hidden when I did so. I felt so guilty. It really was an accident.

Get a grip, hose the spider off and be done with it. Speak about making a mountain out of a molehill.

Read the OP's updates.
How rude.