Was I rude for dismissing a stranger who interrupted me on the platform?

[KookyLemonReader]

About a year ago I started a new job in finance in the City which has been very intense. The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline. I am contractually required to be in the office at least one day a week so on Thurs I dragged myself out to the office. In the early afternoon I was at the local tube station platform waiting for the train and on my laptop deep in work mode when I noticed someone trying to get my attention in my peripheral vision. I turned away from my laptop removed my headphones and listened to the man. He was asking me where my handbag is from. I was very irritated that he interrupted me with this when I was clearly deep in concentration and replied in a cold way ‘I am working’ and went back to my business. A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that) turned back to him and said I’m sorry I was a bit rude what did you ask. He again asked where my bag is from. I told him the brand (vintage Italian designer). He made some random comment like oh I can’t buy that here I guess. I didn’t engage. Went back to my work. My concentration was lost and I was very annoyed by the whole exchange but also questioning myself. Was I awful or is it fair that he should not have interrupted a clearly full of focus person with a silly question?

Quite.

I had a very embarrassing experience years ago on the tube. I still cringe about it today.

I was in a rammed tube on a very hot day pressed up against other people and strap-hanging. Someone let off the most obnoxious fart I have ever known. it was vile.

I couldn't help pulling a face - it was a bit of a reflex - just as I caught the eye of a man nearby who happened to be black. He sort of flinched - and I was mortified that he might have thought I was scowling at him.

I felt like OP - but with more reason! I thought - oh God, I hope he didn't think I was a horrible racist when I was just enveloped in revolting intestinal gas.

Well you’re certainly living up to your username. Birdsong, flowers, clouds, she’s on a fucking London tube platform. Save your cliche nonsense for a fridge magnet.

My dad does this, come to think of it, but he lives somewhere with far fewer people.

I also think that people who are used to getting into their cars & travelling either alone or with people they know don’t appreciate that for Londoners, waiting for or sitting on the tube is the equivalent of that.

When being surrounded by strangers is a twice-daily thing you’re less likely to feel like chatting to them.

@absolutebollocks I'm with you!!

Yes, you were quite rude, but you really need to get over yourself. 'Dragged yourself into the office' and 'deep in work mode'? What, are you Elon Musk or something...?
😆

Haven't read the full thread but if some stranger came up to me - man/woman of any ethnicity came up to me when I have a nice handbag and a laptop and asks me a question, my first thought would be :
Distraction Technique
Take my mind off what I a doing they will either grab the bag or the laptop and run.

I have lived in East London over 35 years and it makes me cynical . I try not to fall for any shite .

I wonder what would have happened if he had gone up to a random man with laptop/earphones and told him he admired his snakeskin belt or wallet. Ah but it is vanishingly unlikely he would have done that....because the man might have not been impressed and even responded aggressively? It is so much easier & safer to bother random women instead.

This is the funniest reply on this thread!
OP, put your headphones down, stare at the mangy pigeons, look at the rats crawling over the tube tracks, listen to the kids screaming at their mothers, marvel at all the miserable people waiting for the next tube 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It might have been a ploy to steal said handbag, you show it to him, he grabs it and runs. Something not dissimilar happened to a friend in a car park while unloading shopping into the boot random man asked something distracting grabbed handbag and ran'

Sorry, I forgot London life is as shit as you describe.

Hopefully OP is enjoying a sunny bank holiday weekend at home and taking stock of how she reacts with the world.

That is quite the assumption that to make about the significance of race to the OP (I realise i have also made some assumptions about meaning, but mine didn't involve deciding the OP was racist).

There's nothing in the OP that suggests she thought she was more at risk from a non white man.

A lot of people on here defending the man have probably never even travelled on a tube. You will find the same etiquette re trying to strike up a conversation with an already occupied stranger in New York and Paris, it will go down like a ton of bricks.

Now that is far more realistic than the Pollyanna version. 😂

I agree with the first bit, not the second. Women interrupt too! But yes, if someone is clearly busy doing something, whether working, reading, listening etc., it's incredibly poor manners to interrupt them, especially for trivial small talk.

Don't dig an even deeper hole for yourself. Nothing shit about London life but then we generally stick to the parks/museums/theatres for our good times...we just use the Tube in order to get to them. And there is nothing wrong with the OP's interactions with the world as far as I can see.

Who are you to preach to others as to what they should/shouldn't do??

You sound like the type who'd interrupt somebody clearly doing something else for your own gratification and small talk etc - i.e. making it ALL about you, rather than considering the other persons' needs/wishes.

'and taking stock of how she reacts with the world.'

Yes woman. Know your place.

If a strange man interrupts your life...be kind, be engrossed in his 'enquiries'.

Lest ye be judged as a man-hating harridan. 😂

Nobody, just nobody talks to strangers on the tube (this includes platforms, escalators, ticket offices).

I learnt from bitter experience that anyone trying to interact either wanted money or was a weirdo.

Its like with chuggers, you have to not make eye contact!

I'm sure this is probably true in all big cities on public transport. People are starved of personal space and over stimulated, they do not want randoms getting in their face.

Im glad I don't live there any more, its too bloody stressful. But going on a one person crusade to speak to every person I encountered daily (WTF, seriously?!) wouldn't have made it more pleasant, it would just have made me a weirdo magnet.

Its like that film, I think it's called Enchanted, where snow white wakes up in new York and tries to call the woodland creatures to help her tidy up - she's appalled that all she gets are mangy rats and pigeons!!

Not at all rude. He was rude for interrupting you. Don’t give it another thought.

A year ago 😂😂
Moi, important much?

You are not obligated to engage with anyone. It was clear that you were working and busy so he was rude interrupting you like that

Are you writing the same bank holiday weekend comment on every thread?

But she is on a platform in London waiting for the tube? It usually smells of piss and sweat. 🙂

Yes @inmyhair, what are your own nice plans?

and look at yourself, ridiculing someone who takes joy in life rather than bitterness.