Was I rude for dismissing a stranger who interrupted me on the platform?

[KookyLemonReader]

About a year ago I started a new job in finance in the City which has been very intense. The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline. I am contractually required to be in the office at least one day a week so on Thurs I dragged myself out to the office. In the early afternoon I was at the local tube station platform waiting for the train and on my laptop deep in work mode when I noticed someone trying to get my attention in my peripheral vision. I turned away from my laptop removed my headphones and listened to the man. He was asking me where my handbag is from. I was very irritated that he interrupted me with this when I was clearly deep in concentration and replied in a cold way ‘I am working’ and went back to my business. A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that) turned back to him and said I’m sorry I was a bit rude what did you ask. He again asked where my bag is from. I told him the brand (vintage Italian designer). He made some random comment like oh I can’t buy that here I guess. I didn’t engage. Went back to my work. My concentration was lost and I was very annoyed by the whole exchange but also questioning myself. Was I awful or is it fair that he should not have interrupted a clearly full of focus person with a silly question?

Not when they have headphones on and are working on a laptop!

She said she began a new job a year ago and is now (or still was on Thursday) intensely working towards a deadline at the end of this week (so yesterday). Hence still trying to continue working whilst on the platform on Thursday.

Perhaps re-read the post. The incident with the man wasn't years ago.

You have been stewing on this for nearly a year?

really? She could have been doing her online shopping for all he knew.

This. No need for rudeness.

You didn’t owe him your time but it takes fewer seconds to be polite and answer the question than pontificate about being Very Busy.

And misses the point of the thread but why on earth are you doing work for a financial services company in public - even if you were tethered to your phone and not using public wifi? You might want to check your IT policy!

You were very rude.

I’d think that was a really strange question from a man, even if I was just staring into space waiting for the train (and would wonder if they were trying to distract me to pick my pocket). I don’t think you were particularly rude.

He was the rude one. Doesn’t matter what you were doing, you were obviously engaged in something and had headphones on. I would never go up to someone busy expecting them to stop what they were doing so they could answer my inane question.

No. Re-read the post. She got her current job almost a year ago. The incident with the man happened on Thursday of this week just gone.

This is the most southern thing ever. Politeness costs nothing.

And? Even if what she was doing was unimportant he was rude to demand her attention by disturbing her.

You remind me of a friend, we were at a nightclub one night when a sleazy older guy tried chatting us up, I told him not interested please go away and she was appalled apparently I would have ruined his night and he'd be really upset, nope he'd have just moved on to the next girl he saw. I do not owe a complete stranger my time.

Do people up north expect random strangers to remove their headphones so they can engage in some chat with them?

I don't think I'd have my laptop out on a tube station. Sorry!
But no, not really that rude. Londoners don't talk on the tube, golden rule!

I'd likely answer the question and quickly pop my headphones back in. Not because I'm nicer or more polite, but because the only thing worse than an annoying fella is an annoying fella with a chip on his shoulder.

But having already been rude, I wouldn't be seeking someone out because of some misplaced white guilt I needed to absolve myself of.

Dp you think he was polite? He saw a woman engaged in doing something other than paying attention to him, and felt free to interrupt her. to him obviously unimportant activity, in order to engage over something entirely trivial. What gross arrogance, entitlement and rudeness did he demonstrate? But you don't seem to think that courtesy goes both ways. Extraordinary.

Where on earth are you where you have to wait so long for a tube that you’ve got time to unpack your laptop (brave in London) and immerse yourself in work. And then time to gather all your shit together when the tube rushes in?

Yes you were unnecessarily rude. This is why southerners have a reputation for being unfriendly 🤣

Nah, that's a bit of a myth, may be the odd friendly place. Yes, I lived up North! Leeds it turned out to be the unfriendliest of cities I have lived in and so were the places we visited around the dales on many an occasion.

Cumbria was friendly though.

Don't look them in the eye! (c)

A year ago this happened? What made you decide to do a thread about it now? I'm surprised you didn't forget it seconds later.

If strange men try and talk to me and I'm busy then of course I politely but firmly say so and or ignore them. That's perfectly normal and reasonable and happens quite a lot.

Nope. I live in the N.E and I'd happily pass the time with anyone, especially when bored at a train station, but not when they are busy working.

He was the rude one. Do you go over to strangers knowing they have headphones on and start asking them questions? Do you stand and wait while they remove the headphones so you can engage in some inane chat? I bet you don’t.

Weird question for a man to ask tbh. But I have had a man sit next to me at a station, ask if I wanted to talk, I said no (I had my reasons) and proceeded to use me as a ear hole service anyway until my train arrived 15 minutes later. Also rude.

But I have had the same with woman as well who took a small query and indulged in a monologue about her son for the next hour and half on the train so tbh you got off lightly there.

I'm going to shout it for the people at the back... "we dont owe random men our time".

Sure, it's nice to be friendly, but we owe them nothing, if we dont feel like being friendly, that's ok.

The end.