Was I rude for dismissing a stranger who interrupted me on the platform?

[KookyLemonReader]

About a year ago I started a new job in finance in the City which has been very intense. The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline. I am contractually required to be in the office at least one day a week so on Thurs I dragged myself out to the office. In the early afternoon I was at the local tube station platform waiting for the train and on my laptop deep in work mode when I noticed someone trying to get my attention in my peripheral vision. I turned away from my laptop removed my headphones and listened to the man. He was asking me where my handbag is from. I was very irritated that he interrupted me with this when I was clearly deep in concentration and replied in a cold way ‘I am working’ and went back to my business. A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that) turned back to him and said I’m sorry I was a bit rude what did you ask. He again asked where my bag is from. I told him the brand (vintage Italian designer). He made some random comment like oh I can’t buy that here I guess. I didn’t engage. Went back to my work. My concentration was lost and I was very annoyed by the whole exchange but also questioning myself. Was I awful or is it fair that he should not have interrupted a clearly full of focus person with a silly question?

You don't owe a random man a conversation.
And you don't need to waste time worrying about being rude to this random man.

Everyone you come in contact with?
So when someone is near to you and clearly busy, you just chuck yourself in there and rely on them being polite and stopping what they are doing in order to engage in pleasantries with you?

Dont you ever look at someone and think they are clearly really busy or they look like they're in the middle of something or they're behavingnin a way that suggests they dont want to chat (headphones in, reading a book, avoiding eye contact etc) I think I'll leave them alone, they seem like they'd prefer not to chat?

He was rude to interrupt you with a trivial question when you were obviously busy and with headphones on. If that’s not a clear ‘not up for a chat’ sign I don’t know what is.

If I were your employer I'd be recommending you retake data security training.

I will acknowledge them generally, yes, with a smile, with a couple of words, with a wave. Why? So far I've never come across any negativity and the positivity pays dividends.

Edit - I meant to add. Of course I can tell if people are busy. I can also tell if people are unkind,

I think you were rude but i can understand you not wanting the intrusion too..
It sounds like you are stressed with work and this brief question from a random person pushed you to respond rudely .

Yes you were very rude and very self important.
As for all the silly posts saying the 'man' was rude, you'd have been the same self important rude woman if a woman interrupted your very important concentration. You're not a heart surgeon. Get over yourself.

He interrupted you with some asinine question when you were obviously busy. No doubt he thought it would be a conversation opener. You don't owe anyone your attention. Frankly I wouldn't give it another thought.

We do and i love a good chat but I wouldn't interrupt someone who had headphones in and was clearly working.

What?! Men are not entitled to out time, our bodies or our attention.

Really? If you’re in the middle of a crowd you acknowledge everyone?

I know this is for Op but it’s not a suggestion I would follow. The last thing I want to do is make eye contact with strangers in a train platform, especially men. But that’s ok because there are plenty of people on here, including yourself, happy to connect with them, so no-one is missing out if the odd person here and there doesn’t want to.

FYI this is reading a bit like an ai post so I have reported, but on the off chance its genuine....
I don't see why people are saying you were rude. A person who looks busy and has headphones on is clearly not up for idle chitchat. Especially something as mundane as i like your bag wheres it from. If it had been me he would have probably got an "I'm sorry what? " with an annoyed look

Sorry my first thought would be he’s trying to distract you to steal something so I am not thinking you were rude

You should have either ignored him entirely or just told him where the bag was from. It was weird to engage just to be rude.

There are some seriously twisted men haters on here. It's disturbing.

Well, I'm up north and I'd find it a bit odd and very annoying to be interrupted with a daft question if I was clearly wrapped up in something else. As clearly signalled by the headphones.

It's not about me being important. I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else.

Come on. Settle down. You sound slightly off kilter.

You were NOT rude in any way. Ignore the menz here to put you in your place. Maybe he can go chat to someone not wearing headphones, looking at a laptop.

I don't think you were rude at all. The man talking to you was rude.

That is: by the standards of the tube. Other rules, elsewhere.

Why? Why do i ask do you mean?

I ask because you said you talk to everyone you come into contact with and i wondered if you meant that every person you see you go to and start chatting to them, expecting conversation, regardless what they are doing, whether they even look like they want to chat or like they want to be left alone... whether you noticed the social clues that indicate a person would prefer to be left alone.

I wondered because I've been accosted by people in the past who have demanded my attention and that I stop what I'm doing to listen to them and I've always wondered why. Whether they don't notice the body language or whether they don't care.

But your clarification sounds like you dont actually do that (interrupt them to demand conversation(, you just acknowledge them and leave them alone.

You don’t owe him anything just because you’re white and he isn’t.

I agree and am baffled that so many people think the OP was rude. If I have headphones on or earbuds in, it's because I want to be listening to the music/audiobook/podcast I am playing, and don't want to be having conversations with strangers. If I were open to chatting to people I've never met, I'd not wear headphones and would be looking around me and generally looking open to being approached.

I'd never dream of trying to start a random conversation with someone who was clearly already doing something else, be that listening to headphones, looking at their phone, doing something on a laptop, reading a book or whatever. It seems incredibly rude.

Wow!
Judging by the many responses on this thread, no wonder the majority of men walk around with an extreme sense of self entitlement!
OP you were far, far more polite than I would have been.
A random man interrupts you to ask you an inane question about your handbag, and you are supposed to stop all activity and pander to him?
Totally unreasonable of him, whether he was trying to chat you up, or see where you got it from so he could buy one for his wife (unlikely)
I would have been really bloody annoyed at the interruption, why do some men think we welcome their attention and owe them our bloody time?
And I can absolutely guarantee he wouldn’t interrupt a bloke working to ask such a stupid bloody question!

There are some seriously twisted handmaidens on here. It's disturbing.

You can assert your boundaries with strangers as you see fit without being a misandrist. When has forced politeness ever been be misinterpreted by a man?

But please do continue to tell women to 'be kind' to men who are complete strangers. It's certainly working for us atm.