Was I rude for dismissing a stranger who interrupted me on the platform?

[KookyLemonReader]

About a year ago I started a new job in finance in the City which has been very intense. The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline. I am contractually required to be in the office at least one day a week so on Thurs I dragged myself out to the office. In the early afternoon I was at the local tube station platform waiting for the train and on my laptop deep in work mode when I noticed someone trying to get my attention in my peripheral vision. I turned away from my laptop removed my headphones and listened to the man. He was asking me where my handbag is from. I was very irritated that he interrupted me with this when I was clearly deep in concentration and replied in a cold way ‘I am working’ and went back to my business. A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that) turned back to him and said I’m sorry I was a bit rude what did you ask. He again asked where my bag is from. I told him the brand (vintage Italian designer). He made some random comment like oh I can’t buy that here I guess. I didn’t engage. Went back to my work. My concentration was lost and I was very annoyed by the whole exchange but also questioning myself. Was I awful or is it fair that he should not have interrupted a clearly full of focus person with a silly question?

If you were working intensely for a deadline, why were you at the tube early afternoon? Either way that’s not the point, but yes you were really rude.

Yes, that’s what I thought.

I’ve given men directions on occasion, including rearranging my immediate plans in order to walk a confused student 20 minutes to his work experience placement. But in general I’ve learned by experience that it’s best not to engage with men I don’t know. So I don’t.

This is one of these long first op, no more replies from the author.

Luckily for the male half of the human species, there are a number of women on this thread who would be more than happy to be interrupted, no matter what they were doing, by a random bloke

The most concerning thing about your post is that this non event happened a year again, and here you are pontificating…

Let it go …..

I think you were extremely and unnecessarily rude. Having taken your headphones out, you could at least have been civil to him - why bother to remove them if you were just going to be rude?

as has been pointed out at least 4 times already it did not happen a year ago it happened on thursday

I missed the bit where the OP said that? Can you quote it?

I thought she was concerned about being thought racist (as well as rude) for not engaging with the random man.

She is, however, owed to be left alone in uninterrupted peace if she is clearly indicating she is unavailable to talk, even if she is just sitting there staring into space, or with her eyes closed, without headphones or book or open laptop, unless there is an actual emergency.

Still agog to know what the bag was. Presumably it's ok to ask here as I'm not interrupting anything.

The most concerning is that you didn't read the OP beyond the fourth line.

If @KookyLemonReader comes back I think she’ll have to ask MNHQ to edit her OP because this is getting irritating.

Sorry, @Theeyeballsinthesky, I posted before seeing your post. I agree

Personally I keep my headphones on at all times when I’m out in public alone and I ignore any man trying to talk to me. Maybe I’ve had too many bad experiences with men but none of them are entitled to a minute of my time.

If someone is repeatedly trying to talk to me or taps me I will take an earphone out to see what they want, however it’s usually something stupid and I will just put my earphone back in, but if I just see them talking I ignore until they get the hint.

Yes so I wish they would direct their unasked for attention only to these women. Shame they can’t make themselves known so the rest of us can be left in peace.

He was an Entitled intrusive twat. You were right to shut him down. Your cultural guilt afterward is a sign you need to give your head a wobble. Fgs don’t give power to men to harass white women with trivia just because they aren’t white. That’s truly shitty.

You only need to be in your office one day a week, and you had to drag yourself there? In the afternoon? 😂😂

I will never forget being at a train station I was heading to a work meeting was on a call with a colleague and a woman came over and interrupted my call asked if a certain train came to the platform we were on I explained to my colleague that someone needed help and I would call them back anyway long story short that lady that interrupted my call was actually planning on taking her own life that day and because I stopped what I was doing which she didn’t expect me to do we ended up talking and we are still friends to this day so my advice is get your head out of your own backside because there is a world around you and you are really not that important

Maybe it's a different interpretation.
She said "A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that)"
I took 'that' to mean if she didn't reply he might get aggressive.
You read 'that' to mean she was worried he would think she was not engaging with him because she is racist.
She said she felt bad. I think the 'also' confuses things.

Giving ‘ special’ treatment to poc, lest you get gaslit into a ‘ racist’ label. Yeah, that’s a no. We have to name the gaslighting.

I often to speak to random people when out walking my dog, not realising they are wearing those tiny ear bud things. They then stop, take them out, say pardon. I then apologise for causing them to interrupt whatever they were listening to with some random human interaction. Actually what I really want to say is, put your effing music away and listen to the beauty of nature that surrounds you. But then I’m a miserable old curmudgeon. And Northern.

Take it OP was a troll. Or maybe doing her big City job at the weekend.

sorry this list the cite to the pP who insisted that “nice women” don’t generalize about men.

Who wants to be a “nice” woman? I certainly don’t.

Ha indeed! Ooop North where I am, we all talk to anyone and everyone 🤷🏼‍♀️

Me too ... I think we'd better head back over to S&B where we belong ...!!!

(I think she was a bit rude, realised that in the moment & corrected herself. That's all. Many of the responses here surprise & sadden me.)

I don't assume every man who approaches me is doing so with nefarious purposes, whether in London or anywhere else. Nor did I when I was younger & it happened quite often. Women approached & approach me too. The reasons were & are various, & most of the time it's been absolutely fine - sometimes even delightful. On the very rare occasion it hasn't been, I've used my judgement & addressed the situation accordingly.)