What are the most ridiculous things you’ve heard a grown adult say? (Lighthearted)

[MyTrivia]

‘Can dead people inherit money?’

‘If you put disposable nappies in the bin without removing the poo, they decompose’

My eldest adult dd

(Prince George had just had his first birthday) 'is he king?'

'Im not scared of falling'
Me-'what are you scared of?'
Her-'landing'

'If you wake up dead,do you know your dead?'

'I've tried but I cant spell in capital letters'

Her pointing at her new pups bollocks
'What are those things?'
Me-his balls'
Her-'he has balls?'

I once rang her-'im doing an ET and just phoning home'
Her-'whos ET?'
Me-'oh its a movie,about an alien,from the 80's,Google it'
Her-'how do you spell ET?'

It's a laugh a minute around her

I love this 😂 I hope I’m having those sort of conversations with my girl when she’s an adult, sounds like a lovely relationship!

Oh I thought of another one ‘do maggots appear out of nowhere?’

Me: " I work for the government".
Hairdresser: "oh, wow, cool.... what do the Government do again?"

I have to admit that when she was about 15/16 she came wandering in while I was sat eating my dinner

'Mum?'
'Yes?'
'Can I ask you something?'
'Sure'
'If you give a lad a blow job,and when you blow and he comes,can you get pregnant?'

I spat fish across the table and howled laughing

I then had to explain how to give a bj and the look of disgust that was aimed at me personally,was unreal

'Have you ever given one?'
'Er,yes'
'That is fucking disgusting'
'Yep'
'I won't get pregnant via a bj as im not giving any lad one-they piss out of that!

tries to explain that you cant get pregnant via a blow job but she was too disgusted at me to carry on so i gave up

Another time 'mum?'
'Yes?'
Did you ever meet Queen Victoria?'
'No'
'Why?did you not hang around where she did?'
'How old do you think I am?!'
'Dunno,old?'

She was 18 at the time

It was on a reality show on channel four years ago. Someone thought that each country had its own sun.

Do dogs have brains?

Young woman beautician chatting while doing my treatment said her mum and sister “both work for that NHS. I don’t really know what it is, but they like it. My sister’s a nurse. Have you heard of it?” 😳

And the Pointless episode:

Alexander Armstrong: Name a country that begins with a vowel

Contestant: Paris

They live among us

I work with a young lady who rocked up at work with the worst period pains

She was doubled over in agony (poor thing)

As i was sorting her out with painkillers,my (lovely,non creepy but male) manager told her to 'clamp it shut down there'

His logic being that if she could clamp her muscles shut,the blood would stop flowing and in turn,the cramps would stop

He really believed this until about 5 angry women turned on him and set him straight (he genuinely believed he was helping)

He's a married father to 3 kids-one girl and two boys!

Idiot

“Are there taxis in your country?”

No, the concept of taxis never reached mainland Europe.

I once asked my dad how long he'd had the birthmark he was showing me on his arm, that i'd never oticed.

You would be surprised how often I’m asked if me and my twin brother are identical. No, he has a willy 🙃

Someone at work once asked who Jesus’ mum was, fair enough she might not know, so we told her Mary. She replied “oh I thought that was his sister” Never heard that one before.
She also announced she’s never been to Spain, we informed her that she in fact had been there twice, she said “no I’ve been to Malaga”

I was once asked what the beaches were like in Leeds

Family Fortunes, years ago.

We asked our 100 people survey to name a bird with a long neck...

Contestant buzzes in... "Naomi Campbell".

Another Family Fortunes, years ago.

We asked our 100 people survey to name something red...

Contestant buzzes in... 'my cardigan'.

They should stick the old repeats back on, they were bloody priceless.

My mother while pregnant with twins was asked (more than once) 'how lovely-did you plan to have twins?'

'Nope,didnt plan on having one let alone two!'

I have two dc (now adults) close together

'Are they identical twins?'

'Well,seeing as one is a year old girl and the other a newborn boy,id say no'

Boyfriend who thought the moon circled around the sun, not the earth.

Family member -"Do I need a passport to visit you on the Isle of Wight?"
Me -"Of course and check with your GP about vaccinations for travel."
FM believed it.🙄

Can dead people inherit money isn’t a stupid question. I guess under the Commorientes rule that says if two people die together and the order of death is uncertain then the younger is presumed to have survived the elder for purposes of inheritance - a dead person (or rather their estate) could inherit.

When hitting kids was the norm...mothers often said...'Do you want a smack?'

No is the answer

I’ve just seen a clip of Amy Childs, very recent, and Denise Van Outen asks her who the American First Lady is.
Her reply? Margaret Thatcher.
And I thought how do you end up living in a mansion after earning a pile of cash without knowing basics like that?
Amy is privately educated as well.

My 44 year old sister last month when preparing for a weekend trip to Belfast (from Newcastle) said "I'm all good, I've got my passport and been to the bank for my euros". 😂