What are the most ridiculous things you’ve heard a grown adult say? (Lighthearted)

[MyTrivia]

‘Can dead people inherit money?’

‘If you put disposable nappies in the bin without removing the poo, they decompose’

It might be in ‘classics ‘ on here , but there was a thread about tour reps and the ridiculous things people ask them ( or moan about ) it was funny!

One of my friends didn’t know what a Native American was at nearly 30 years old. I said have you never seen Pocahontas? The Disney film? Apparently not.
When I was a teenager I once overheard two boys from school discussing where girls wee came from. One of them was adamant it was the same hole periods come from.

Yes, like the suns of the lands beyond Xanadu where Kubla Khan built multiple pleasure domes for his princelings Very spaced out stuff.

Haha - I’d like to read that.

I'm sorry but she sounds hilarious! I bet you are always wondering what she is going to come out with!

We are not gardeners and haven’t much idea , but we did make the man roll his eyes when we asked an him in the outside part ‘ where are the house plants , mate ?’ He hesitated a fraction before answering ‘ indoors ‘.
We scuttled off quickly. Everyone leaves their brains at home when in big stores ( is my defence lol)
😆

'Fat turns into muscle.'

'I'm not voting because I don't own a house so I don't need to.'

FFS.

On here, somebody once accused me of knowing nothing about autism. I took great joy in informing them that I had been formally diagnosed with autism twice.

My (very lovely) mum was booking a flight for me and asked me to send her my passport number and name. I told her she already knew my name. She said she needed to include my middle name. I gently pointed out that my middle name is her first name.

My sister: I can live without trees. They do nothing for me. I'd rather have more shops.

😂😂

When I first explained sex to my daughter, she found it hilarious, and kept asking me what would happen (pregnancy wise) if the man put his penis in different places - mouth, ear, eye. All while laughing hysterically.

A bit later, we were watching the sequel to Phantom of the Opera on TV, and discussing the fact that Raoul had failed to get Christine pregnant during their marriage, and she said, in all seriousness, "he must have been using the ear trick".

The phrase "the ear trick" is legendary now in our family.

'Do you have a dormitory mistress?' and 'Are there parents' evenings?' - my grandma just after I started at uni. No, gran, it's not First Term At Malory Towers. Bless.

'Could you look him up in the UK phone book for me?' - an American friend who was trying to trace a relative in the UK and evidently thought it was the size of the Isle of Man.

'I didn't know British people saw Luxembourg as a foreign country.' - another American friend. (I'm honestly not anti-American btw, I just get bemused by statements like these!)

'Have you been around any Chinese people?' - a friend's wife when he developed a sniffle right at the beginning of Covid, in the UK, before it had taken any kind of a hold here.

'Are you still a lesbian?' - contestant on Married At First Sight a couple of years ago, at the reunion. (And, in fact, any number of things I've heard reality 'stars' say...)

Can you see the moon in England?

When we were strolling around Hagia Sofia (before it was converted back to being a mosque) and looking at a mosaic of the Virgin Mary, I remarked to my husband that contrary to popular belief, Mary didn't remain a virgin for the rest of her life because it says in the bible that Jesus had some brothers. Husband replied "wow, I didn't know that. Were they older or younger?" He's actually quite clever believe it or not.

I once overheard in Mothercare - You have to get rid of cats if you have a baby because they go for their faces

A friend watching our other friend being interviewed on TV, said friend was sitting beside her. "Is this live?"

I dated a guy who thought breasts were squidgy because they were full of milk, just like all the time

A woman I worked with had a damp problem in her house. I asked if she had a dehumidifier and she said no, because if you're in a room with them and the door's closed, they suck all the water out of your body and you die.

"So what was Hitler's surname?" .
Said by an eighteen year old (so technically an adult) during an A level history class and a couple of months before they went to university to get a degree in the same subject.

When a friend who lived in England came to visit me in Wales: Rach, I'm going across a bridge, I didn't know i had to cross a bridge and oh my God, I have to pay?

Hahaha!

When my DD was 4 months old, someone asked me how old she was. When I said 4 months,she asked me if she was my oldest. I think it would have been a bit difficult to have a younger one when the one you have is only 4 months old!

I was going to respond and mention Turkey Bob! To be fair, 'turkey' was an excellent answer to one of the three questions and not an utterly ridiculous one to another question. His mortified wife offered then-producer William G Stewart £100 not to show the episode, but he refused and told her it had cost them £38,000 to make it!

I also love the episode of Family Feud (the US version), where they're asked to give another word for 'mother' (mom, mommy, mama etc.) and they all end up giving exactly the same answer - which they already know isn't there - but each pronouncing it very slightly differently!

My exMIL frequently came out with priceless remarks. Once, when I was trying to lose weight she said that I should drink pure lemon juice 'as it dissolves the fat'. Another time she asked me to remind her when my birthday was. I said the 9th of October. She said oh I thought it was on the 10th of October. Are you sure it's on the 9th? Erm,yes,I think I know when my own birthday is!

That reminds me that a dental hygienist once asked me if I knew roughly when I had had my c-section..