When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

University

My eldest is 8 and is delightfully cheap, apart from bicycles all big ticket items have been bought.

She goes to after school club and holiday clubs, but due to subsidy that comes to 80 euros a month (I live in Europe). Her big hobby is music, for which I pay 50 euros a month, she has a secondhand instrument.

She has remarkably modest wishes when it comes to birthday gifts, last year she wanted a Play Doh thing that cost 10 euros. We got her that and some extra bits and she was over the moon.

She is happy to have unbranded clothes or things sewn by me. No way will I be buying her 180 pound trainers.

I wonder how this will change when she is a teenager.

Teen years feel more expensive as whilst nursery years were actually the most expensive, once they went to school costs came down significantly so we got used to having more cash.

Suddenly the teen years hit and the amount of food they eat is eye watering. Then the adult size shoes that they grow out of so quickly. And then they hit a growth spurt and it’s new school trousers. It just feels constant.

The maintenance loan is means tested on what the parents earn. Parents are meant to top up the difference to the full loan amount.

Driving lessons, car insurance, tuition, counselling, uni (not all for the same child!). Definitely late teens is most expensive. It's very difficult to get a job in our area.

We don’t want our DC to have loans or work term time do give them 1100 a month each to cover rent and costs
In any case the loan does not cover even the rent
They all wanted to go away to Uni and we were happy to support

Nursery years.

With supporting university coming in second but its still a lot less than nursert. My ds is a hard worker but there's still a shortfall.

The pony years.

Nursery for us. We were paying £1500pcm at the height of it and that was with discounts and me being part time! Ours are 3 years apart so won’t be at uni at the same time, and we will not be paying £1500pcm to support them.

Unless someone has genuinely free childcare like grandparents, the pre school years will be the most expensive for most (remembering working part time or being a SAHM has an indirect cost unless you genuinely have never earned). People also seem to forget that the spending in teen/uni years is much more flexible and discretionary than childcare, which is a little more life and death!

Age 17: Adult-size clothes and shoes, driving lessons, car insurance, long overnight trips to visit prospective universities etc. All on top of the regular music and sports stuff.

My children are in their late '30's. We have just paid off their mortgages. This is more expensive than University so the most expensive they have been so far! I was a SAHM so didn't pay childcare fees.

Accommodation is 9k. Loan is 5k. There is a 4k shortfall. Child is covering living costs like food /clothes /transport / learning materials /socialising etc from their own earnings.

For me it was mid teen years for both. I’m still going through it with my son. He’s expensive. He’s grown a lot and his feet are huge so clothes have been adult sized since he was about 11 and shoes are extortionate. Whilst he’s not spoiled, he does like brands like Nike etc. He also has an expensive hobby that I don’t mind funding. He’s autistic and it’s a special interest and I encourage him. When they’re little, it’s easy to dress them in Primark or whatever and my kids both loved a charity shop for toys or trinkets! I have never had nursery fees fortunately, although I did have a childminder for my eldest. She’s an adult now and has left home so I spoil her at Christmas and birthdays and save up for that.

I was paying £1,600 a month nursery at its worst - in 2010 so £2,500 ish in today’s money.

I’m expecting to give them £1,000 a month each when they are at uni - and they’re only one school year apart so that will be £2,000 a month for two years.

So, nursery years.

I think they’re currently at their cheapest (mid teens) as no more swimming lessons, no after school childcare, no holiday childcare, and they don’t spend much themselves. Cheap phones.

Teenagers without a doubt for us.

School fees, tuition, hobbies, orthodontics, driving lessons, first car, more expensive clothes and tech and then university.

Two children 5 years apart, without family able to help with childcare meant the first three years of their lives were expensive. Now I have an 18 year old with uni costs, driving lessons, adult costs for clothes etc it's expensive again. Younger sibling is cheap by comparison. I know driving lessons are an optional cost.

When both were teenagers, we had three years when their combined school fees were £38k from net income. Uni was cheaper. That was 2010 to 2013. It would be well over £50k now.

You’ve just…. paid off their mortgages? All of it???

Because most people don't live in the middle of nowhere that doesn't even have public transport

When they were little they cost us more than any other time by a country mile. I stayed at home so it cost my salary and if I hadn't full-time childcare for 3 would have cost a fortune anyway. Even if they all to university at the same time and we have to give them £1000 a month each they will still be cheaper than when they were young.

Nursery years cost me over £50k of pre tax salary each year. I can’t imagine many other phases of him growing up will cost more.

Depends if you're like pp and paying your 30 year old children's mortgages

Mine are pretty cheap now at 4 and 6 as I work part time and they are in school/preschool, with minimum fees.
However, i have got savvier about hobbies. I recently capped my eldest at 1 hobby + swimming as he wanted to do EVERYTHING! Which obviously was getting expensive

Uni years. We are abroad so tuition is very cheap, but no loans available - so tuition, rent, phone, medical bills, dentist, food. I don't pay for any other stuff e.g. clothes or socialising, she's has to work to cover that. For food she uses my lunch voucher card, supplied by my employer. Though actually I currently spend roughly 1000 euros a month and I remember nursery in UK being £650 a month 20 years ago - so maybe it's about the same (or indeed less) in real terms. Hopefully (at least most of it) ending next month.

Uni years have been eye watering - ours are 3 years apart & we are in our 6th year of fees plus rent. We budget 25k per year per child. They have paid their own food and other living expenses through jobs. We have another 2 years to go b/c of placements and masters. They will come out of it with minimal debt thankfully - it made more sense than increasing bank of mum and dad deposits to get them on the housing ladder & meeting affordability checks.

Having said that it made more sense for DH to work part-time/ antisocial work patterns during the nursery years so we didn't have that pain, but a partial dip in incomes has hit our pensions.