When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

On mums net they certainly seem to be more expensive as they get older.....but then it often becomes clear that they are getting their lives bankrolled by their parents at no expense spared!
I'm sure some costs are impossible to avoid as kids grow up such as increased food consumption, however many such as designer clothes, expensive phone contracts and tech, multiple costly clubs etc.

Up to when she went to reception, then when she started GCSEs because holidays got a lot more expensive and she got some expensive hobbies. She’s still expensive now she goes to Uni because I’m subsidising her rent.

I dont think people understand how uni loans/grants work nowadays. Anyone no matter parental income can get a full LOAN about 10k now i think (repaid at silly rates once they earn a certain amount. Seperate to a loan for uni tuition (also repaid). A grant is seperate and based on parental income.
Mine get no grant , my income is too high but unfortunately as a single parent with high costs i cannot fully pay for uni 20k plus for tuition and living.
When DD1 went a few years ago outside London but expensive city, she has a full maintenance loan which covered accom and a little left over and I topped up her living about £300 / month. She also worked.
DD2 is going to London in sept. Her accom (not the most expensive at all) is £385/week!! Full loan plus London weigh in plus a minimal welsh grant will not cover her rent. They advice living costs of £ 200/WEEK which i will have to cover. She is hoping to work but is ND and has anxiety so we will see .
If I was covering tuition and accom it would be significantly more.

@BurnoutGP thats not correct for England.
anyone can get a loan of around. £5000, then another loan to cover fees.
any additional loan is means tested.
like most people I know, my children lived off the minimum loan and I payed their rent.

That’s not how it is in England. There are no grants and the maximum you can borrow is based on parent income which needs to be extremely low to get £10k. Most get £5k per year.

Welsh kids have different options.

Nursery period definitely! No choice but to pay choice to set boundaries for spending after.

Apologies I did not realise it was so different in England from Wales. That makes it even worse/more expensive!

Thats with a full maintenance loan which is seems in England is not available to everyone.
Just checked and if we were in England I would need to top up 400/ week (and that's just for 40 weeks). Yikes super gland were in Wales

DD got a grade related bursary of 1k off her first year of tuition fees (tuition fee loans are not means tested). She was looking at the other bursary or awards offered. The bursary for kids who parents household income was under 25k was about £300, which is pretty minimal considering the cost of going to uni.

I mean fine but that's your choice. It's not essential.

I think the teen years can also be pricey. Kids do a variety of sports which need membership and also substantial fuel and sometimes accommodation costs. Add on school trips, clothes, eating out they no longer eat kids meals so holidays and day trips etc a lot more expensive. Early teens need some holiday club entertainment too, but as they get older babysitting/childcare costs reduce!
Clothes and shoes can be pricey even if not designer. Adult prices, school uniform and trainers/football boots etc.

It does depend upon your parenting style, but for us it seems to have just got more and more expensive. The uni years x 4 - over the span of a decade that has literally just ended - was a huge drain. The two eldest got married and that was a big expense for the weddings, setting up homes etc. I expect the next phase will be babies and we will doubtless help them with whatever they need. The younger two will eventually be settling down, more weddings and babies, but in the meantime, cars, help with travel & holidays etc. My parents were very supportive and generous so I wouldn’t be any different. They’re all independent and perfectly able to cope financially without us, we just make it easier.

You seem strangely proud of actively disadvantaging your children. That's an unusual stance for decent, loving parents to take.

The government expects you to top up your children's means tested loans to the maximum loan amount (which works out at about £500/m parental contribution for those on minimum loan, household income of £65k ish or more).

This is an interesting read. I feel like we're about to enter the cheap years as our oldest is 7 and our youngest is starting school in September. Nursery was an absolute killer, at one point we were paying out over 2 grand a month. I'm assuming they'll be cheaper now until the driving lessons/car/uni/house deposit years.

@CurdinHenry @youalright the amount they can borrow is based on parental income. They can only get the full loan if you are on a low income. The more you earn, the less they can borrow.

And the terms of the loan are terrible. Very high interest rates.

University age.

I am surprised about the posters who say that their children's weddings were expensive. Are parents still paying for/towards it?

We planned ours according to our budget and while we received some cash gifts, we didn't know until afterwards when we opened the envelope from my PIL and DH's gran.

At that point in time a child is an adult with a job and for me that means they have to plan and budget it themselves and while I may gift them money, it would only if I can actually afford it without saying that year was so expensive.

University is totally different as most children won't be able to work so much in advance to fund themselves to make good on the shortfall fromm the loans for 3-4 years. After surviving A-levels last year, it takes a lot to work and manage the exams and plenty of DD's friends cut hours from Christmas onwards which obviously impacted how much money they could save.

Yes some extremely strange attitudes to university funding on here. Don’t you want to help and support your children? The “never did me any harm” attitude is depressing. Also incorrect - it’s a very different system and economy now certainly to when I was a student. It’s way tougher.

Can’t imagine folding my arms and shoving my 18 year old into the world on their own financially to sink or swim. Like some kind of dickens novel!

I certainly don’t know anyone with this attitude. Friends family and clients I see are going to huge lengths to support their young
people in this difficult time.

Very relieved we stopped at 2 so can help more. It’s worth keeping in mind when assessing family size.

@reluctantbrit yes, we went halves with dil's parents. Not a problem and nothing compared to a year's school fees. We'll happily pay for all of dd's next year.

DH and I are mid 60s, still working and few bills. The DC are starting out so of course we are helping with weddings. If we didn't have the money it would be different.

There's also an assumption that their child will be able to get a job/s that pays sufficiently to pay rent .
DD has had 3 jobs since starting uni and none have been enough that we dont need to financially support her, at all.
They have either been event work over a weekend/3 days, an 8 hour/week contract and a zero hours contract. (And this is after applying for 100+ jobs)

Same both mine zero hours. If they’re not busy they are sent home with no pay.

I don’t know if this is different now, but my friend sent her child to uni with the assumption that a part time job would top up his funds. The course required attendance on random days severely limiting his ability to work set hours in part time work.
If they’d known the details they may have chosen something closer to home.
Do they publish the days students are required to attend in person in advance of students accepting a place? (Yes, I realise that they’re supposed to use these free periods for self study, in an ideal world).

@GellerYeller DS's timetable wasn't published until about the week before the course, and indeed changed in the first few weeks of the course starting. Each term was different, and he then had different times allocated to lab work once he had started that part of the course. He certainly would not have been able to have a job with set days. He worked through the holidays but not whilst at uni.