3yo DD says she's a boy

[mumtoa3yo]

I know MN is generally not a very trans-supportive space but posting here in case anyone has any experience.

My 3yo DD says she's a boy and has done for as long as I can remember. She has an older brother she adores, and I wonder if it's more idolisation of him (she even says she wants us to have another baby now, as she's the age her brother was when she was born, so that she can "be a big brother") or if there's actually something that might be gender-diverse for her.

She says she wants a short haircut like her brother but when I show her images of haircuts (for boys or girls), she doesn't want a boy cut but will pick something like a bob. She plays equally with boys and girls at nursery and has a variety of play interests (loads of pretend play, duplo, puzzles, play doh, outdoor play, but also lots of caretaking of animals and dolls, giving them bottles, breastfeeding them), and she does also model what her big brother does (he is very typically "boy," cannons, sword fighting etc.). Her clothes are mixed, she wants some old clothes of her brothers but also wants lots of pink and purple unicorns, rainbows, glitter (although refuses anything with frills or hearts!)

Has anyone gone through this? I sort of suspect that when she starts reception she might have more peer pressure and the glow of her big brother will fade a bit, but I also want to support her and let her know she is loved regardless.

Thought this bs had been left in 2022. My dc when they were 3 used to say they were unicorns, dinosaurs, chase from the paw patrol etc. by the age of 4 they’d moved on to something else. I said I was a boy when I was 6 thank god my parents didnt take it seriously and try to “affirm my gender” 😂
Mumsnet isn’t the place to be posting this either, too many older sensible mothers/grandmothers tbh with you I doubt even most reddit groups would be as supportive as they were five years ago

I thought I would like to be a boy till I was about 13 - then I discovered boys!

Are you ok?

Similar but slightly different. I wanted to be a nun till I was 13 - then I discovered boys

My 3 year old granddaughter often says she's a dog, and crawls about making barking noises.

I wanted to be a boy as I had a brother and ran with the boys to play out.

my daughter wanted to be a horse

my son a dinosaur

spunds like she is perfectly normal

Ds was a dog at that age.

When dd started school I was chatting to a mum and asked what her son was called. She looked very embarrassed and said actually a daughter, but she preferred to wear boy clothes. She was wearing shorts and a sweatshirt, and had a boy's haircut, at a point where all the girls had cardies and most wore pinafore.

Anyway she played with the boys, her friends were the boys, and she wore boys clothes and did a lot of sports etc.
In year 5 she asked her mum if she could grow her hair a bit. In year 6 she decided she wanted to wear a dress to the disco. And as she hit teen years she stayed mostly friends with the boys, still did a lot of sport etc. When she was playing sport she wore tracksuits and tied her hair back; when she was going out, she wore dresses, makeup and had her hair loose.

Thankfully she had a very sensible mum so she wasn't forced into something unchangeable at a young age. That's how it should be.

Accept her stance and don't encourage it.

She's 3!

This looks like the comment section the police use.

I agree that she might be testing a boundary and so it might be better to just keep making clear that she isn’t a boy, because she has a vulva and not a penis, and that you can’t change in real life. But if she wants to play a game where she is a boy she can? Just so she knows she can play but the reality is what it is.

I went through a George from famous five phase for a few years at primary and had a short boys haircut which I loved. I’m a straight mother of 2 now. Still not very girly but proud to be a woman.