My new job is slowly destroying me .. what can I so? I’m so desperate.

[cantstartagain]

My new job on paper sounded ideal to me. In a category I really enjoy, big global recognisable firm, good salary.

I’ve been there 6 weeks. It’s pretty much fully remote, my entire team is in a different country so even if I wanted to go into the office I’d be alone, there is literally no work to do.

I just can’t do it, I live alone and I don’t want to be sat in my house 24/7, I don’t want to sit staring at a screen with nothing to do, it’s 2am and I don’t want to sleep as it means I’ll be waking up to another day of nothing …

How is the person you're quoting sniggering and bullying?
I've read the whole thread, people seem to be genuinely trying to understand and help and give you suggestions.

Exactly! Bloomin' eck, I was thinking of suggestions but I'm glad I've read the whole thread first.
So snappy and nasty to others just trying to help.

She isn’t saying there isn’t any work she is saying she doesn’t want to be sat at home working

Of course it’s possible to feel lonely and bored when you’re sat on your own in a spare bedroom doing nothing for 8 hours a day! Just because that’s not your experience doesn’t mean it’s not possible for others. Like I’ve said in a previous comment, wanting a bit of social interaction throughout the day doesn’t mean you're relying on work colleagues for your whole social life.

I totally get this! I was in the same position I took a job that was a step away from what I had been doing and it turned out to be remote and very badly managed. I left after ten months but should’ve left sooner as it made me feel so awful. Spend your time looking for something else xx

This is really good advice.

In one of your postings upthread you mentioned that your boss had said something about passing you more work. It sounds like your job moves between slow and busy periods, as one of my past jobs did. After 6 weeks you havnt really given it a chance. Unless it was a truly toxic workplace where you were being bullied or micro managed I would say give it 6 months at least.

If your colleagues are disbursed internationally you will need to get into the swing of things. I do private tutoring and at present two of my grads have gone back to their homes in Taiwan and Singapore to write up, so I have to be awake sometimes at very odd hours if they need some help.. You get into sitting up chatting on zoom at 5 am! The consolation is that I can charge a high fee for all this. If you feel you have to be available 24/7 you need to put some boundaries in place.

Find another job; it is not going to get better

I am in the same boat but minimum wage. Currently been sat here since 9 with no work but I can't go away from the screen for too long at a time. I am not on my own (me and my DH) but my kids have all recently left home. I know I have to make some friends and get some hobbies but it's so hard isn't it? I feel for you!

@cantstartagain I'm so sorry that this job hasn't turned out to be what you expected, especially after it sounds like you had a bad time in your previous job, too. It sounds to me like you're very angry about that and I don't blame you - it should be up to your manager to help you make this work.

I think how you respond to your current situation depends on whether your gut is telling you this is workable with some adjustments, or whether you'd be better to cut your losses and look elsewhere

I've worked in partly and fully remote teams, and it's always a bit of an adjustment. The advice I would give you is to start to get to know your teammates a bit - you've only been there 6 weeks so it would be perfectly reasonable to schedule 1-1 getting to know you calls to understand their roles and start to see how yours might evolve. And then, once you've established contact, keep it up, using Slack or Teams or whatever tech your team use. I am in touch with very few people from the corporate (Big 4) job I left after 20 years, just before the pandemic, but two of them are and always have been based in other countries, so our friendship was built online.

I'd also say talk to your manager - not necessarily a big heart-to-heart but a call at least once a week, to keep up to date with what the team is doing and how you can fit in. And make sure she knows that you need her to task you in the early stages as you learn the job.

The best-run remote teams I've worked in have had regular get-togethers - maybe only once or twice a year, but as you already know, some face-to-face contact is really badly needed - we're social animals. Are the rest of the team in just a couple of places, or are they also scattered? Is there a natural cycle of events which could be a frame for you all to meet - industry conference, board meeting where you support/report to one of the board members, that sort of thing?

You have had some good advice (or advice that I'd regard as good!) on here, but it seems to me that you're not currently in a frame of mind where you can use it. I second what several PPs have said about establishing routines of going into the office - yes, some people change the days they're in, but there will be others who regularly do the same couple of days, and unless the office is 100% staffed by sociopaths, there will be plenty who'd be happy to go for a coffee or lunch with a new joiner and talk to them. Work friendships don't have to be deep to provide you with company and structure. Good luck to you. I hope you can make it work for you.

So I would join a David Lloyd or similar fancy gym and park myself in the coworking space there, and take advance or a class, then check emails, then a swim, then check emails, sunbathe by the pool with laptop closeby just in case. They’ll need to give you some proper work at some point. Use the free time like you did on lock down - redecorate, daily walks, weservise, batch cook etc, have an extreme glow up

I get where you are coming from.
It is good you have an active outside work.
I think working from home can be isolating.
I kind of had had a crisis so I think I get, not completely the same but I get it.
This is what I am doing
First thing I would do is get a mouse jiggle, so you are never offline it gives you a bit of freedom.
I do 20/30 mins of weights every morning, then have a quick look at my emails then I go for a shower. Come back fresh smell nice and I can tackle a few more emails.

Try and go for a walk at lunch time.
Do a course - does your company have Linked in learning?

It doesn't solve the work issue.
Can you take on some project work?

Give yourself time to look for another job - but don't give us on this one just yet, it does sound it is in an area you like.

Can you go into the office once a week, you don't have to no anyone but it might do you good.

Are there any groups you can join at work - wellness group, the pension group, charity/volunteering work, women in the workplace, etc. That is a great way to meet people. My company is part of a wider group that works with children online to help them read. I haven't done it this year but have done it in previous years. Maybe be the champion that sets it up - Chapter One it is called.

You need to find an outlet, once you have found it things will become easier.
Acknowledge your negative thoughts, say thank you but no, I don't want to feel this way and do something positive (I have had some stress counselling)

Best of luck

So many great replies on here and this is definitely one of them. I think @Sassylovesbooks has likely diagnosed 2 of the issues here and I’ve been on the receiving end of both 3 times in recent jobs: poor planning by the line manager and a lack of work generally. Another poster - @Wordsmithery - referred to being “underemployed,” which I found very relatable.

It is perfectly normal to feel demotivated and that there is no point in switching the computer on if there isn’t purposeful and meaningful work to do. 1 or 2 days of “downtime” is ok but not when it’s most days.
I can’t see how anyone can really feel secure in a job like that. At some point somebody is going to question, “why are we paying a person to do very little?”

I’ve experienced being underemployed in a fully remote job, a hybrid job and an office-based job now. One tip I have for the OP is if the situation is due to poor planning by line manager or a lack of work generally, going into the office won’t resolve the issues. It might even exacerbate how the OP is feeling.
I’m going to echo others’ advice to try and have it out with the manager. Give them an opportunity to put it right but be prepared to look elsewhere if things don’t improve.

The more recent experience for me - the hybrid job - was in some respects worse. I was finding the days I went into the office, it was largely empty and nobody came in for help either. It was comparable to if you’ve ever been the last person to leave the office and carried on working when everyone else has gone home. All day, every day but apart from checking emails, I had bugger all to do. I might have been able to stick it out a while longer if it had been fully remote.

As I’d gone through 2 situations previously of being underemployed, I cut to the chase and asked my line manager what was going on. My suspicion was correct; there generally wasn’t work for me to do. I’d had this in the office-based job in 2019. Both jobs had been missold. I was very honest with the manager and said I was used to a pace of work where there weren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done, so I needed more work. She came back to me a day later and said unfortunately there wasn’t more work they could give me and the job was pretty much what it was. I left it and have no regrets.

The others that are employed with the company based around that office not necessarily your team but others from other teams?

Her OP says there is literally no work.