My new job is slowly destroying me .. what can I so? I’m so desperate.

[cantstartagain]

My new job on paper sounded ideal to me. In a category I really enjoy, big global recognisable firm, good salary.

I’ve been there 6 weeks. It’s pretty much fully remote, my entire team is in a different country so even if I wanted to go into the office I’d be alone, there is literally no work to do.

I just can’t do it, I live alone and I don’t want to be sat in my house 24/7, I don’t want to sit staring at a screen with nothing to do, it’s 2am and I don’t want to sleep as it means I’ll be waking up to another day of nothing …

I have been working remotely for the last ten years and sometimes I will pay to go to a day office. For £25 I get to sit in a room of people who are regularly there. Makes a big difference.
I wrote a YA book during a six month stint where I had no work!
It can be lonely. I totally understand. Just do it for as long as it takes to get something reasonable on your CV and don’t leave until you have something else. If they aren’t monitoring key strokes and your screen etc(which I doubt if they’ve given you no work) then use the time to do an online course, many are free and some will involve zoom classes so you get to chat.

i entirely get why you don’t want to work fully remote and that is sensible.

talk to your boss and ask if there are options for more in person work.

and look for another job.

OP this sounds really tough, I have been in a job with not enough work to do and it sounds great but in reality it can really mess with your head and a lack of social interaction isn't good especially when you live alone.

I do think theres been some helpful comments here.

Can you share a bit more about the role- is it well paid, is it a step up from previous job, is it a niche role or something you could do at a lot of firms, do you have any qualifications?

It sounds like it would be a good idea to use some of your time for job hunting.

There are some good suggestions about going to shared workspaces or cafes, os that an option?

Also how tied to your laptop are you, and how flexible are your start/finish/lunchbreak times?

I really struggled with the panic of being "caught out" not being online so didn't feel I could get stuck into gardening or decorating. But because I had flexibility I was more comfortable popping out earlier or later in the day or anytime between 12 and 2 as if someone tried to contact me during those times I could legit say I was having an early finish/late start/on lunch.

So could you aay go to a yoga class or pop to a cafe for a leisurely lunch during the day. Possibly also use the time during the day to get chores done so you have more time to socialise or do classes in an evening?

Try to remember it's all temporary, you can and will find another job - it's just about making things work as best as they can to support your mental health in the meantime.

Have a chat with your line manager about your workload and ask for projects. Is there co-working desk space near you that you can hire a few days a week? I’d sign up for Coursera or similar and do courses in subjects in which you’re interested.

I strongly recommend that you look for a new role OP. I live and work in very similar circumstances and have now been doing it for 5 years because I took the job as a serious career move and have felt unable to change without falling off the ladder altogether. Over time, it's materially impacted my mental health and relationships. Others that are saying 'just use the time for hobbies' either don't care about career progression or don't understand how lonely living alone and wfh really is. I have found that the less I see people, the more I lose the instinct for it, which was never the case before now. I blame the pandemic but it's irrelevant at this point and I am committed to making a change this year. Make the change quickly before you grow accustomed to it and while it still reads as a 'just not for me' move on your CV.

I totally get where you’re coming from. I need to be kept busy at work. For various reasons I recently started a new job and have been wfh for the last two months - it’s challenging!

I had a similar job in Covid times. Fully remote. I was early 20s and lived at home with family so wasn’t alone in life, but the job was SO depressing, I used to dread logging on. I was fortunate enough be in a position to just resign without another job lined up (it was that bad). I lasted five months. If you aren’t happy, look for something else. Even if you need to take a salary drop, it’s okay and more common than you think (as long as you can get by financially). Good luck

I understand fully OP, it amazes me how many companies hire and then have no work! I love working from home, but have to be busy, so when I've been in the same position it slowly drives me mad.

Look for another job.

I left a completely wfh job within four months OP. It was too isolating for me as a person. I also live alone most of the time (kids at uni).

Wfh in a team that you meet/speak to online is completely different to wfh in complete isolation.

The lack of work feels like it is secondary for you. Most people need some sort of interaction with other people in their lives.

I'd be worried that you're missing something vital about your job, if you think you have no work to do.

But if you really don't, then use the time to look for something else in office or hybrid.

OP, I completely get where you're coming from. Being underemployed is horrible especially if you're intelligent, driven and/or ambitious, or naturally a grafter. Personally I get a lot of validation from a job well done or a heavy workload got through.
And people who live with partners and kids have no idea how isolated those of us who live alone and WFH can be. I make sure I have plenty of social interaction outside of work to compensate for lack of interaction at work.
Talk to your manager about your workload and if the situation doesn't resolve, start job hunting. And join some extra social activities while work is less demanding, to keep your mood up.

I would first book in a proper meeting with your manager to discuss why you don't have any work.

I would also look up co-working spaces locally. I looked around recently as looking to separate work a bit and there are some lovely community wfh places that you pay for a desk but they look like they have a good office buzz to them.

I think it comes down to personality how well you get on with wfh full time.

I’m an introvert and love it. Was shocked to talk to a colleague who said she hates it and dreads weeks when she has no meetings and has to be at home alone every day (my dream!).

Do you have regular online meetings with your team? If not could you suggest it as a weekly catch up at least? You could explain it would help you to feel more involved.

If I was you I’d be vibe coding a hobby website. It’s a lot of fun, super easy and is really rewarding when you make something that works.

This was me when I first started in my current job. Lack of proper management meant there was nothing really for me to do, and no-one in my team worked at the local (90 mins away) office.

I decided to go to the office once a week anyway, sat with a completely different team but the same one each time and made some acquaintances.

I also looked at the kind of work that I would be doing, and used the quiet on-board time to upskill myself with work based learning for IT skills that I thought would be useful. (PowerBI being the main one).

Finally, I kept my line manager aware of my lack of work and suggested where I could help.

Eventually my job has turned into one I really enjoy, I collaborate remotely with colleagues and have quarterly in person meet ups, and I really like my adopted office "team".

If you see scope to do the same, I would definitely hold out, because for me, taking that initiative has meant I've really been able to control what my job is. I treated it as though I was self employed and had to market my skills to "get the job", alongside 90 day plans. It gave me a sense of purpose when I felt completely directionless and also helped me engaging my manager.

I see 2 issues.

1. Bone crushing loneliness which is exacerbated by
2. Soul destroying lack of work

If you're the type of person who gets your daily structure and validation from work then having nothing to do is awful. Yes you can take online courses to fill the time, but that is a sticky plaster. Not a long term solution. Book a meeting with your LM, spend time on LinkedIn, see if anything better comes along.

And then you need to get out of the house in the evening. Sign up for whatever activities you can. Plan ahead for weekends.

I know it's awful but the solution lies with you.

I fully understand how you feel - I would hate this. I think you might have to leave. You were mid-sold the job.

Can you say more about the situation, why isn’t there more work for you?

Maybe if they knew how much down time you had, they'd assign you some more work though?

I would really start going into the office and mingling with other teams. I work in a really friendly and chatty team and love having new people to get to know. It will help you secure other roles within the company if you are going to be looking for another role.

It just shows how different people are because this sounds like a dream job to me. How old are you though because that can make a difference? Also you must have some sort of manager that is checking in with you or you must be on a probationary period and that’s the opportunity to discuss these things.

I hate wfh!
I left a job I loved because it went fully remote and my MH cannot cope wfh.

Just carry on with it for now but apply for other jobs too.

In the mean time, make sure the hours you’re not working you are out of the house as much as possible.

Someone I knew in a similar position got a Friday evening job in their favourite local pub. They needed company. They also spent Sundays walking with a Ramblers group.

Do what you can to sort your work out, but also look to the rest of your time to rebalance your life.

I've had several jobs over the years - including many years with a big global organisation - where I've not had enough to do. I was well paid, and considered a high achiever in my annual appraisals.
I then ended up working for another organisation where they were so impressed with me that they created a new role for me, and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't make it work. I was so bored I was losing my mind. A project would get mentioned and I'd think "Finally, something I can get my teeth into!" And then it would turn out that the "12 week project" only required about 4 hours of my time. There wasn't enough of anything to do, and I found it all far too easy. But I still had to complete quarterly Board reports to justify my time, so I'd scrabble around thinking of enough bullshit to fill a slide deck.
Unfortunately, like a previous poster, it caused me to have a huge, protracted nervous breakdown, which I'm still recovering from.
I wouldnt automatically advise you to quit, as the job market is so dire. But I wish I'd been upfront with my employer and said "Honestly, I can't fill my time and I think you need to use me elsewhere". They wont get rid of a good employee theyve spent money to recruit as easily as you might think.

So slightly different scenario but we have an office where hardly any of my team are based but we advertise it as possible to work from. I have 2 people based there out of a team of 100. 1 of the 2 works from home all the time. The other actually goes into the office! They have met others from the same company and seem to have a nice network and people they can go out to lunch with from other teams (who do utterly different work incidentally).
So get yourself to the office on a regular day and say hi to people and maybe that will at least start you having a few people to chat to.
Does your company offer training ? It sounds like you are not wanting to stay long term so get whatever you can out of it.
Finally, is it possible that people in the company dont really know about you? Have you done 121s with absolutely everyone possible? Youve not been there that long and when I last switched companies I was still very much in the orientation stage for about 2 months