My new job is slowly destroying me .. what can I so? I’m so desperate.

[cantstartagain]

My new job on paper sounded ideal to me. In a category I really enjoy, big global recognisable firm, good salary.

I’ve been there 6 weeks. It’s pretty much fully remote, my entire team is in a different country so even if I wanted to go into the office I’d be alone, there is literally no work to do.

I just can’t do it, I live alone and I don’t want to be sat in my house 24/7, I don’t want to sit staring at a screen with nothing to do, it’s 2am and I don’t want to sleep as it means I’ll be waking up to another day of nothing …

I’m in the office with nothing to do, day in day out. I have ADHD so I do not want to be doing anything unless I’m interested in it, so I’ve been drawing, reading, learning things. You could do literally anything you want at home and get paid for it!

Push for your team to have casual virtual chats. Half an hour once a fortnight with a different person each time and a cup of coffee and begin to build those relationships. Don’t talk work but get to know your colleagues/ have those chats you would have in the office

Not having an enough work to do is soul destroying. It happened to me a few years ago. Working for a start up, from home. The work was so boring and sporadic.
I gave it up in the end and went to work at an airport.

As its a good salary, and at what from the outside seemed like a good company, I'd start using the time now for some professional and/or personal skills improvement. As some others have mentioned, take some courses, learn a language, read some books, home exercise. During your normal working hours, I understand you likely have to be around your computer, but you are also likely to be able to keep on top of household tasks, bit by bit. Which leaves you more time and capacity outside your job to leave the house. You seem to need more social interaction, so whilst you don't have a stressful job, try and use that time and capacity to find a hobby outside of your working hours to help with the social side.

Moving on too quick isn't necessarily a good sign employment wise, and there are also many posts here about people struggling to find work. So if you can work out ways to help you feel more fulfilled, help you progress in your next role, and use the good pay to get yourself in a better financial position, you will help make your next career step better.

Of course, a job where you get nothing to do can be soul destroying,

Why is there so little? What’s going on at their end to get it that wrong

Rent a desk in a co-working space?

Join a Rotary-type organisation and get involved in local business-related stuff / mentoring?

Get a lodger?

I don't know what to say OP. Your job was mis-sold, you can address that with your employer, but it's not your job's job to create social interactions for you.

I also work remotely in a job that sounds incredible on paper (and which I know I'm very fortunate to have) but have struggled with the isolation of WFH and not having a concrete team, very little guidance and support etc. Here are a few things I've done that have helped me.

I joined a tonne of internal networks and working groups, basically stuck my hand up for everything going. Some of them I had not the remotest interest in. But visibility and connection they've given me has been valuable and I've made some good working relationships through them.

Started an apprenticeship through work (again, sticking my hand up for everything). It's given me something to focus on and even though I find the course deathly boring, I'll feel like I achieved something and have something new to add to my CV at the end. It's also meant opportunities to connect with other apprentices in the business and made me feel a bit less isolated.

I go to my nearest office once a week, even though it's inconvenient and none of my team actually work there. Something about the ritual of getting ready, commuting, leaving the house, makes me feel better and more connected to my job/purpose (and it breaks up the week a bit).

Worked really hard to build a life I love outside of work. If the 9-5 isn't fulfilling you, make sure your 5-9 is. I started a new hobby a night a week and make an effort to see friends weekly (not always easy if you're a parent, but worth it if you can make it work).

Good luck to you - hope you find a way to be happy, whether it's adapting to this job or moving to another that better suits your needs.

And this is me signing out.

I’m done defending myself to sniggering bullies. im not repeating myself.

Get another job and get two salaries.

If you're this rude to people in real life, is it a surprise you feel short of social interaction?

Good, I'm glad you're out. You've been rude to people, ignored perfectly good suggestions and spat venom back at people who tried to help. I'm glad I read all your responses before wasting my own time.

I understand why you are frustrated that the job you accepted isn't quite what was sold to you, but your anger at people's suggestions is weird.

The logical answer is to find a shared workspace and enjoy a bit of company that way until your work picks up. It won't take long before you spot the same familiar faces and you can start to align the days you spend there to build that same sense of everyday social interaction. I do get it - I work fully remotely, and you do miss the chatter about last night's TV. It can be replicated.

OP ignore the idiots who dont understand how awful it can be, to be sat alone with nothing to do day after day. I too have a job that can be incredibly isolating at times and completely boring. Im a well educated professional with years of experience of working from home (Ive worked at home for 20 years) but some organisations are just not good to work for in this way. Ive had jobs where I am busy and in regular contact with colleagues and Ive felt supported and part of a team and Ive also had jobs where I feel completely isolated and unsupported and bored out of my mind by lack of work. Youve not been in your role for long but if it doesnt improve you should definitely look for something else. You need a job that is interesting and fulfilling and not just something to pay the bills. Good luck.

This job isn’t for you long term

While you look elsewhere :

lunchtime gym/yoga classes etc for interaction
nip to supermarket (before work?) for same reason
use your own laptop do to online classes/webinars with interaction during the day

I also left a job as it was isolating - but try to find something else first

Yep 🙄
Clearly don't have much work to do if they are gardening and taking 3 hour lunch breaks what on earth?!

Unless they are doing it at stupid hours or morning / night

I don’t see any venom from OP? But I don’t blame her for leaving the thread with the amount of shitty responses she’s had.

What on earth.
You are paid a good salary to at the moment basically do nothing.
There are worse things in life than being bored.
It baffles me how ppl can use work as a social event. If you work in a job where you are so busy you barely have time for a wee or to grab lunch you are not at work for the social aspect.

Your social life should be outside of work. If you are lonely that is what you are lacking. Work should not be an extension of your social life. If yoh meet like minded ppl there great, but you need a life outside of work.

Sounds like job was mos sold to you, which is wrong and you need to use all this free time you have to find a new one. But you can do something about the loneliness outside of work also. This may help your state of mind.

Hang on in there. You just need to find another job where this is more team contact and more social interaction. I think it's a wise thing to do anyway because even though your boss might be trying to smooth things over now, it sounds like your job could be at risk within the next year. They sound like one of those global consultancy companies that create jobs without really knowing if they'll be able to generate enough work. They keep reassuring the employee until the very last minute because they don't want you them to leave on a premature timeline that isn't right for the company. I've seen this happen a few times.

For me, your job would be like winning the jackpot, but that's because I'm someone who could easily fill that time with something else if there's genuinely no work to do. Message me who the employer is!

Also, if you're getting unsupportive responses, it's because people are bitter that they don't have your job and they are blinded by this instead of actually empathising.

Can you work from a coffee shop/library/office space? I know its not exactly the same, but you may notice the same people, can strike up conversations etc.

Why not just ignore those that don’t get it and respond to those that do who have given you lots of useful tips to make it better?

You're only 6 weeks in, with a bit of effort, you can improve how you feel.

Of course there are worse things but being underemployed is soul destroying. Being not-quite-part of things at work feels really unpleasant. It makes you doubt yourself. It can ruin a career as you have no experience, accomplishments or achievements to build on in future job applications.

OP I apologise if my comment was unhelpful. It sounds like you either need to make the most of it for the short term while you find another jobs, or have a frank conversation with your manager to see what can change.

What? The majority of responses I saw were giving constructive advice on what you can do to make it better. It seemed you weren’t up for taking any of that advice though.

Of course, bring unfullfilled in a job can affect you. There are plenty of people who are unfulfilled but are also running around like a mad one under crippling pressure, demands and stress and who struggle to find the time to apply for other work.

The op at least had the gift of time and can be their own agent in this.

Their original post cites them being really lonely, but if you have a good network of friends and family outside of work, how can you be lonely?

I teach all day, with very short breaks, I dont have time to sit and chat with colleagues etc, my only company is my students. Im not lonely....I am a professional, I come to work, I do my job, I go home, I see my children, my partner, my friends, my family. Im not looking for social stimulation at work. Yes I get on with my colleagues and we have team meetings one morning once a week, but am I lonely in work because I dont interact with another adult during the hours of 8.45 til 3pm? No 🙄🤷‍♀️

That comment you are replying to was in no way at all sniggering or bullying. People have tried to answer your post and you have just got angrier and angrier. We can't magically imagine what answer you want to appease your issue.

I think in your shoes, I’d ask for a meeting with my manager. I’d outline what you’ve said here - that you don’t have enough (any!) work to do and ask what can be done to address this. That you understood the role required a working in the office a couple of days a week, but you’ve since seen that this isn’t apparently necessary as you have no team members who are office based. Say you welcome interaction with colleagues and can anything be done to foster / facilitate this. Ask for, and agree some specific steps and changes to be made.

I'd also make a point of going into the office each week and trying to get to know some of the other people who work there.

Evaluate your manager’s response and give them a little time to see if things improve/ change.

In the meantime. I’d start looking for a new job as it may be that this one just isn’t going to meet your needs and expectations.