Wendy Duffy heart breaking but understandable

[youalright]

What a brave lady i hope she's holding her son right now.

Well she's died so the future is irrelevant. I think both choices are brave. You don't know that she won't be holding her son right now nobody does. You may believe she won't but belief isn't a fact

I know two people who have lost only children . One around 20 years ago and one recently
I can guarantee that they loved their child as much as Wendy Duffy .
It's heartbreaking, of course you feel as though your life is no longer worth living, it takes a very long time to come to terms with it, longer than 4 years but it is possible .
The brave thing is carry on living and try and do something positive in memory of your child

Indeed. Shocking some of the stuff on this thread.

Wow. Some thoughts really should stay in your head

But just because this wasn't the right choice for your friends it doesn't give you or anyone to take that right away from others

I'm genuinely unsure what's offensive about that thought? Usually when people lose someone they love, they're understandably very keen to raise awareness that could prevent others from dying of the same thing, so it seems a reasonable thing to think? While advertising that you're going to kill yourself isn't exactly helpful or beneficial.

Its the state assisted suicide I find impossible to condone. In cases like this I just think it is morally wrong.
I can completely understand her wish to no longer want to live. It's desperately sad but i understand it
But I don't believe it's right for an organisation to make money by helping bereaved people die.

They'll have massive costs. Look at what funeral directors charge and they don't have all the legalities and medical experts to pay.

They should not make money no. How much do they profit you seem to know?

I have a son not much older than hers. I have often thought that if he died I'd struggle to continue. I have no partner, no other children. Perhaps all we can offer her is understanding and compassion ❤️

You can't tell people what to do with their own grief. Just because other people have made different decisions, and you feel you would too, doesn't mean this wasn't the right decision for this woman.

I feel the same. Had not heard of this before this thread.

I have for decades been a firm supporter of assisted dying. Not just for the terminally ill but also for those who have to live in suffering, which I imagined as being things like total paralysis. I had always imagined it to be for cases where most people would find life insufferable and where there is little chance of forging a life most people would find acceptable or enjoyable.

However, I cannot support it in cases like this. Grief is part of life. People can and do find ways to deal with it.

I have heard of other cases such as in Canada where homeless people have been told assisted dying is an option.

This gives me pause for thought that death is being offered or available as an option for people where ability to find ways to cope or live with grief is possible.

I always imagined assisted dying as being for those living in exceptional situations, with extreme physical limitations to improve their lives or those near the end of their lives who chose to end it with dignity on their own terms.

Cases like this in countries with assisted dying makes me really rethink my position if it ends up enabling people to die in situations where recovery or learning to live with grief is possible. Societies should not normalise this.

I don't think it's ever appropriate to call suicide 'the right choice' if a person isn't terminally ill.

But regardless, I also don't think it's offensive to suggest that a more beneficial use of her publicity would've been to raise awareness regarding her son's tragic cause of death.

Just because someone has killed themselves, it doesn't make their choices immune to criticism. And I thought that was a pertinent comment regarding awareness around choking, and lying down eating in bed - especially as it's not a risk I would normally think about!

It is valid to argue that the state and private companies should be involved in facilitating such decisions. Not everything is a right and not all 'rights' should be facilitated by the state. The state makes moral and legal decisions about what sort of society should exist under their governance.

Well I can think of lots of ways to describe it but ‘brave’ most certainly isn’t one of them.

There is something rather distateful about the tone of this thread. The OP has been pretty dismissive of other views on what is inevitably an incredibly complex and emotive topic - including at least one poster who shared her own experiences of having lost a child.

Wendy's decision is heartbreaking but I do understand it. It is incredibly sad that she doesn't see a future for herself. I have no judgement for her decision at all, as I don't know that any of us can say what we might feel in that situation. I also don't know what I think about the fact that the clinic will allow her to just end her life in these circumstances.

I can't help wondering if she might have found a different way forward if she had had better support. I guess we'll never know. Whatever happens next, I hope that the poor woman and her loved ones are somehow able to find some kind of peace.

I watched my Mother get over death of my sister. I just don't think you can say after 4 years that the grief would never get better. It's just too early. If she'd given it another 4 she might have been able to find a way through it.

I just posted a thread of a heart breaking story I see on tiktok that made me cry its not my responsibility to agree with or even listen to other peoples views

Sorry about your sister but I bet your dm did not get over it. Rather learnt to endure it, plus she had you. To lose an only child wouldn't be anything anyone would get over.

This is absolutely awful. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine the pain. ❤️

No, but on a thread of this nature, I personally think it is your responsibility to be sensitive towards others for whom this may be a very difficult topic.

Absolutely but it doesn't mean I have to agree im just stating my opinion and my opinion is that everyone should have the right to choose

Who haven't i been sensitive to. Or do you mean i haven't agreed with everyone

Hang on. If you don't want to listen to other people's views then starting a thread on a public site, and reading all 15 pages of responses, was a pretty poor decision.

@LadyMacbethWasFierce

I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Try to hold on.
Since my son died I have lost friends, but I have gained some too. Bereaved mums like me. They get it when literally nobody else does.
The mums on the bereavement board on here saved my sanity. There are a lot of us.
I am still keeping on, putting one foot in front of the other.

This is your thread though. Not Tik Tok.

You are insensitive, in a really bad way.