Wendy Duffy heart breaking but understandable

[youalright]

What a brave lady i hope she's holding her son right now.

Brave is a matter of opinion but it is always a valid choice

Well, exactly, and that’s being seen already in Canada. Patients with treatable conditions aren’t being provided with the care they need - and requests for assisted dying are being accepted when not all options have been exhausted.

Also worth repeating that even Dignitas won’t carry out assisted dying in cases like this.

If there’s an assisted dying provider refusing to help, then I really do think that gives pause to question the ethics.

Omg @LiviaDrusillaAugusta that's brutal.

For the last 40 years absolutely nothing in your life has given you meaning and joy?

Christ, that really must be really hard. 🌻

Good lord, when did the world turn topsy-turvy?

But this assumes that there was once a consensus, an indisputable ‘truth’ that we have somehow drifted away from. I’m not sure that’s true. There may have been a prevailing opinion, but this is shaped by a whole host of complex societal factors which can, and, do, change. In these profound matters around life and death and existence, can we really say that there was once an agreement on these things? The point is, people are always going to disagree on this, and we are all entitled to our own opinion. We can profoundly disagree, but other’s opinions are still valid, there’s not necessarily a ‘right way up’ on this specific issue of assisted dying, partly because it is so complex, and also because it can be so painful for people whose view may have been informed by experience from both ‘sides’.

I feel sorry for her mother who has lost a daughter and a grandson. Just a very sad story all round. I spend my life worrying about the welfare of my kids even though they're in their 20s. They’ll never stop being the most important people in my life.

I didn’t say that. I’m probably at the best stage of my life right now. But I still kind of regret not doing it when I was 15

Without wanting to get into a discussion about methods, I can think of quite a lot of options.

If you make options even more accessible, I don’t know how you protect vulnerable people from being encouraged or coerced.

I’ve just seen your other comment and I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time 💐

Well she doesn’t have balls - it’s a very misogynistic view.

People lose children and people die all the time. Killing yourself extends the suffering. Should her parents and siblings now kill themselves?

Back to the days when wives had to throw themselves on funeral pyres with husbands.

She needed mental health support not suicide .

So do I.

Wendy went to Pegasos in Switzerland which does help people who don't have a terminal illness. Dignitas, the other organisation in Switzerland, will only help people with a terminal illness. So Pegasos were the ones that could assist her in her wish.

Like I said, it hasn’t been all doom and gloom and I have had good times. But I still kind of wish I had done it.

What are they then? These successful ways? If you were to advise a person how to take their own life cleanly, painlessly, peacefully, in a way that was guaranteed to work and to have the least worst impact on the people who sadly have to find you dead, what would you suggest?

Because it's just a hunch but I doubt it's easy to get a definitive answer on the internet to how much paracetamol and vodka you'd need to take to make sure you got the job done, without accidentally vomiting up all the pills you took and putting you back to square one, possibly with kidney damage. And it's not easy get anything stronger and properly sedative, without a prescription.

Obviously I don't expect you to answer this question and if you did it would probably be deleted. But think about what you said and how feasible it really is to have successful, non-messy, pain free options to DIY.

So are you saying the state should facilitate people taking their own lives using a 'guaranteed' method, on demand, if that's what they say they want?

"But I still kind of regret not doing it when I was 15"

Despite all the crap you may have had to go through over the years, you are at the best stage of your life now @LiviaDrusillaAugusta

You surely would not have arrived here had you not persevered.

Imagine the alternative if you had allowed your, obviously, very unhappy 15 year old self to succeed.

You're so very brave to have kept going. 🌸

Completely agree, Sirzy

Obviously this is a desperately sad case, though I'm confused as to why people are bringing the recent UK Assisted Dying Bill into it. We've been told all along that this was to be ONLY for the terminally ill, so even if the measure had passed it wouldn't have helped poor Wendy Duffy

Yes, agree 100%. For me it's about choice. People should have the right to choose.

The vast majority of people choosing an assisted death are people with incurable, debilitating health conditions, who've had a good life already and want to die with dignity in a supported environment.

I think it’s incredibly sad . I also think it is brave . She made a choice for herself to end her suffering - I can’t imagine her feelings at the point of going there and knowing she was falling to sleep to never wake up and that’s it , her life is done. She ended her own suffering which is scary and heartbreaking.. so , brave too.

Her family of course will be heartbroken, her parents are going through her pain of losing a child. But , I sacrificing a life of misery for their feelings - that’s also heartbreaking. I hope her family find peace with the fact they know this wasn’t her crying for help or making a snap decision, she wanted this and I think there was probably no other choice for her . To watch her only child die in front of her and be unable to save him is just unthinkable.

I have two children. The thought of losing one is horrendous, I wouldn’t want to go on in the world but I would have the other to live for and to try . I love mine equally and can’t even think about losing one and having to go on in the world so I can only liken it to losing both and I know if that ever happened there would be nothing else in the world left for me. I love my husband, but without my children… being honest I would say it wouldn’t be enough.

She must have been living in torture every day and I really hope there is something else after this life and I hope she is reunited with her boy.

She said herself she wasn't depressed. She tried counselling, medication etc anyway but had enough self awareness to recognise she wasn't mentally ill she just did not want to live without her only child. I can understand that.

A pp comparing it to a hypothetical 24 yr old whose baby had died, the difference is she would have her whole life ahead of her, the chance of more dc, the chance of joy etc. At 56 this lady knew she just had years of grief and what ifs.

What are they then? These successful ways? If you were to advise a person how to take their own life cleanly, painlessly, peacefully, in a way that was guaranteed to work and to have the least worst impact on the people who sadly have to find you dead, what would you suggest?

We wouldn't be allowed to provide the links on here, @Ididthistooanditwashell, but it's easy enough to google and there are at least two organisations who publish handbooks on precisely that

Right, so a 56 year old woman's life is worth less, and her grief is worth more, than a 24 year old's?

I'm not sure 'ehh, you can just have more kids to replace the dead one, don't worry about it' is really a great argument that everyone will agree with.

And at 56, she could've still had another 20-30 years left to live, while equally the 24 year old could die of breast cancer at 35.

I read the full article in the Daily mail. It was heart wrenching but who are we to judge how she feels ? She lost her only son in such an unimaginably tragic way and she just couldn't find any peace. She wanted to be with him and now she is.
God bless her and her son and keep them safe ❤️

Thank you but I’m really not. It has taken 40 years for me to get to this point that I am fulfilled and I got lucky there really.

i only ‘kind of’ regret it, tbf.

I have been diagnosed AUDHD over the last 5 years which has helped though

I'm a little bewildered that people think it's appropriate to be asking for detailed examples of how to kill oneself on a thread discussing suicide.

I'm not sure "brave" is the adjective I'd have gone for. I'm sure it wasn't the outcome her son would have wanted for her.

That being said, I wholeheartedly support her right to choose. I wish her the peace she seeks.

Yes, that’s my point really.

Dignitas won’t provide their services in these kinds of cases - despite being an assisted dying provider. If Dignitas draw the line here, I think that’s actually worth considering as clearly they’re in support of assisted dying as a general principle.

I think that actually says quite a lot.