What is fair in this situation?

[Swellingtonboots]

I’ve been with my partner for 2 years. We don’t live together and have no plans to as we both have children still at home.

He stays over at my house two to three nights a week. I have a small mortgage and he rents. I very rarely stay at his as he lives an hour away and I don’t drive. I’ve maybe stayed over at his a couple of times a year.

He pays for 98 percent of meals out/ days out and dates. If we go away for the weekend or on holiday we pay for our own half.

I earn about £20,000 and he earns £50,000. He stayed over this week and used my electricity to charge his laptop and phone, showered and enjoyed my cooking and it got me wondering if he should be contributing at all to the household bills in some way. I’m not sure if that would even be reasonable or how I would even bring it up! Maybe I’m overthinking it.

I know his rent is double what I pay for my mortgage and he also must spend a lot on petrol driving to and from his area to make the effort to see me. He is an amazing partner. Kind, supportive and thoughtful. He always washes up after I cook etc

Would love some advice.
Thanks

That's good! It is important to be getting something!
I think maybe mention you are having to cut back on food a bit it is not unusual. See how he goes with it. He might think!

You need to apply OP, if you have £10k savings you’ll get slightly less but it tapers it. You won’t lose entitlement completely unless you have £16k savings. I think having £10k in your situation would still mean you’d be entitled to around £350 universal credit plus child benefit. Still massively worth doing!

£10,000 of savings will only bring a £70 per month deduction.

Using the shower and using your electricity to charge his phone seem like very basic things one would expect to be able to do when sleeping over at their partner's home.

He travels all the time to yours, and pays for nearly all your dates, so if say it sounds fairly reasonable.

Would you rather he spent more time at his own flat? If so why won't you go there more than twice a year?