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The Gym - oh god please don’t make me do it

127 replies

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:15

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 14/04/2026 15:17

I'm 64 and I do it, I have to. Its all bum scrunch leggings and bra tops and there's me in an ancient tracksuit puffing away. I've given up caring.

maslinpan · 14/04/2026 15:18

Find something you are actually going to enjoy, I do a walking bootcamp every week which is full of over 50s women, completely uncompetitive, and I really look forward to it. Don't set yourself up to fail by forcing yourself to the gym, there are loads of better options out there!

FoxRedPuppy · 14/04/2026 15:18

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:15

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

I’ve always hated gyms. I just lift weights at home. Can’t you just buy some weights? Or don’t worry about what other people are wearing?

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Tuuuuune · 14/04/2026 15:19

I go to a gym in a hotel. It's full of older people, probably because it costs more than the other gyms.

Thecows · 14/04/2026 15:22

Different gym and try and go daytime when all the cool cats are at work 😁

Freshair87 · 14/04/2026 15:23

I am probably one of those knobs in skimpy gym clothes (albeit im mid 30’s) but I started at 17 stone and I’m now so proud of my body. I couldn’t care less what anyone else looks like in the gym, I don’t even notice, I’m just focussed on my workout. There’s some older (much older than you) women in my gym and the only thought that occurs to me when I see them is “wow I hope I’m still coming to the gym when I’m their age”

Miranda65 · 14/04/2026 15:24

Nobody "needs" to join a gym. I'm about your age, OP, and I never have - same for a lot if my friends.
If you choose to exercise, you can walk, cycle, play golf, tennis etc. Life is definitely way too short to go somewhere you hate/do something you don't enjoy.

UnaOfStormhold · 14/04/2026 15:26

I'm 49 and training as a PT precisely because women like us deserve to feel comfortable in the gym. It has to be said there's been a real surge in strength training in women our age and older and you might be surprised how many are around.

JenniferJupiterr · 14/04/2026 15:26

I felt the same but now I don’t care. Literally nobody is looking at you and it’s as simple as that. I pop in my AirPods, listen to a podcast or some music and follow my routine on my app and nobody glances in my direction.

and I’m a member of a pure gym which doubles up as a youth club at certain times of the day!

ElixirOfLife · 14/04/2026 15:26

What about online in the comfort of your own home until you get the hang of it again.

FictionalCharacter · 14/04/2026 15:27

I’m in my 60s, am about to join a gym again and I don’t give two hoots what the other people look like. I’ll snigger inwardly (not openly) at anyone wearing look-at-my-bumcrack leggings and gym pros peacocking around. With age, I’ve found that just not caring about things like that has been a welcome life development!

Bridgertonisbest · 14/04/2026 15:28

Maybe this isn’t the gym for you. I like being a member of a gym but I hate actually doing the gym work. But at my age (58) I know it’s a necessary evil. I don’t do nearly enough housework to keep fit and I’d definitely rather go to the gym than do housework.

if you don’t feel comfortable joining, will you feel comfortable using it?

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 14/04/2026 15:29

God don’t even worry about what other people are wearing. I just wear tracky bottoms and a t-shirt. I am not noticed by anyone at all which is how I like it. Go in, get on with it. Leave.

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:29

Gettingbysomehow · 14/04/2026 15:17

I'm 64 and I do it, I have to. Its all bum scrunch leggings and bra tops and there's me in an ancient tracksuit puffing away. I've given up caring.

Good for you! I love your attitude to it. I want to be more like that. I want to care less about what I look like.
The odd part is in my day to day life, I could not give a hoot what people think of me. It’s just the effect the gym has on me.

OP posts:
cheesepasties · 14/04/2026 15:29

Kindly, as a fellow 49 year old woman, you are virtually invisible to the cool kids. They won’t even SEE you. Just go and work out and once you start getting stronger, you’ll feel amazing.

LappingLouisa · 14/04/2026 15:31

FoxRedPuppy · 14/04/2026 15:18

I’ve always hated gyms. I just lift weights at home. Can’t you just buy some weights? Or don’t worry about what other people are wearing?

This!

I’ve never gone to a gym but have sets of free weights at home and use them 4,5 times a week. Just make sure you have a variety of weights so you can increase as you get stronger.

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:31

Bridgertonisbest · 14/04/2026 15:28

Maybe this isn’t the gym for you. I like being a member of a gym but I hate actually doing the gym work. But at my age (58) I know it’s a necessary evil. I don’t do nearly enough housework to keep fit and I’d definitely rather go to the gym than do housework.

if you don’t feel comfortable joining, will you feel comfortable using it?

I probably definitely won’t feel comfortable using it but I need to just get a bit of a grip and be like those if you who don’t care and just get on with it.
I think once I start I’ll be ok, it’s just learning how to use the equipment again, and being clueless.

OP posts:
user765847363 · 14/04/2026 15:32

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:31

I probably definitely won’t feel comfortable using it but I need to just get a bit of a grip and be like those if you who don’t care and just get on with it.
I think once I start I’ll be ok, it’s just learning how to use the equipment again, and being clueless.

Could you do some sessions with a PT to get you on track?

Eyesopenwideawake · 14/04/2026 15:32

I started going to the gym at 62 (9 months ago). Today I lifted 87.5kg. No one noticed or cared and that’s just fine by me.

gamerchick · 14/04/2026 15:33

Could you find a little independent and do classes instead OP. I couldn't go into a public gym and do my own thing and I've been going years. Classes are the way to go.

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:33

cheesepasties · 14/04/2026 15:29

Kindly, as a fellow 49 year old woman, you are virtually invisible to the cool kids. They won’t even SEE you. Just go and work out and once you start getting stronger, you’ll feel amazing.

I quite like being generally invisible in my daily life, apart from when I’m trying to get served in a bar and then I may as well be the Invisible Man.
It’s just in the gym I feel so conspicuous. But you are absolutely right.

OP posts:
twilightcafe · 14/04/2026 15:35

I shall be blunt.

No one there gives a hoot about you in the gym.

Get back in there and focus on your own fitness journey.

Bjorkdidit · 14/04/2026 15:36

maslinpan · 14/04/2026 15:18

Find something you are actually going to enjoy, I do a walking bootcamp every week which is full of over 50s women, completely uncompetitive, and I really look forward to it. Don't set yourself up to fail by forcing yourself to the gym, there are loads of better options out there!

Ooh, walking bootcamp sounds right up my street, will look that up.

OP, Sally Gunnell seems to have recently started talking about a simple home work out to get you started - looks interesting:

Olympian Sally Gunnell reveals how beginners build strength | Woman & Home

What about a local authority gym, might that be less intimidating? Ours looks really good (not that I've ever been, mind) and they offer introductory sessions and regular check ins with a trainer to help with your goals.

Sally Gunnell

5 exercises, 3 rounds, 2 dumbbells - Olympian Sally Gunnell reveals how to build strength as a beginner at home

If you're new to lifting weights, this simple workout is a good place to start

https://www.womanandhome.com/health-wellbeing/fitness/sally-gunnell-build-strength-as-a-beginner/

Wellnowlookhere · 14/04/2026 15:36

Freshair87 · 14/04/2026 15:23

I am probably one of those knobs in skimpy gym clothes (albeit im mid 30’s) but I started at 17 stone and I’m now so proud of my body. I couldn’t care less what anyone else looks like in the gym, I don’t even notice, I’m just focussed on my workout. There’s some older (much older than you) women in my gym and the only thought that occurs to me when I see them is “wow I hope I’m still coming to the gym when I’m their age”

Well done on your achievements! 👏🏼

OP posts:
Tontostitis · 14/04/2026 15:36

I go to David Lloyd and honestly feel quite young. I'm 61 the average age in the gym is 50plus

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