The Gym - oh god please don’t make me do it

[Wellnowlookhere]

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

So true, you never skip a workout and think 'I'm so glad I went home and sat on the sofa eating crisps'. It's always that moment when you leave work after a shit day.... shall I go to the gym or go home and be miserable?

I have to just get up and do it first thing or it ain’t happening. I just achieved 26 weeks straight of going to the gym at least 4 times a week. I am ridiculously proud of myself

Track your workouts. I just do it on my watch nowadays but I used to use MapmyRun because I'm old lol... But people use Strava and other apps. Have a widget prominent on whatever you use so you can see what you've done over the last week and month. It helps keep you motivated.

I’ve often had this conversation with folks in my fitness classes. You might spend ages beforehand thinking ‘I REALLY don’t want to go’, but it would be really unusual to get to the end of your workout and think ‘I wish I hadn’t bothered’. You never regret going (unless perhaps you injure yourself 🥴), whereas you’re quite likely to regret NOT going.

Something I read on MN a while ago and thought was spot-on (I’m afraid I can’t remember the poster’s name) was something along the lines of: ‘If you’re waiting for the energy or motivation to exercise, you could be waiting forever. You need discipline, not energy or motivation.’

OP just do it at home.

I've got a selection of dumbells and kettle bells and trx straps and loop bands etc. I do Bodyfit by amy, or PMA fitness or the free caroline girvans.

In my garage. First thing in the morning before I can even think about it. My arms look tremendous.

Discipline is hard, doesn't come naturally to me (I'm lazy) Motivation - I either exercise daily or become a fat bastard, it's as simple as that. I'm not blessed with good genes - I have the metabolism of a sloth 🙄

Sounds like me.

I'm trying to hold onto the 'Consistence is key' mantra - if I go to the gym, then at least I'll do something.

Tomorrow, I'm booked in for the Musical Theatre Fitness class and I find that such fun. I've never been able to dance for toffee, but I can move around to music, even if I'm just clumping about.

I was at the MTF class and then Stretch class yesterday, and I can actually see muscles on my arms. (Don't ask about the rest of me!)

[ETA I also find having paid for (reduced) membership motivates me - I'm too much of a skinflint to waste it. I'm getting my money's worth!]

I also find the Mumsnet Keep on Exercising thread a great motivator.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/exercise/5496936-keep-on-exercising-2?page=8

@Wellnowlookhere I’m mid 50s and managed to make this happen by using a personal trainer within the gym environment.

Finding the right trainer was a big thing for me. Then committing just to be there once a week - no big goals or crazy targets.

18 months in and I’m still doing it - and even enjoy it.

But… I stick out like an aberration in the gym, and that sometimes feels hard to deal with. I don’t in any way fit their profile, and it can feel like I’m invisible to everyone except my PT.

I don’t agree with the idea that no one cares, and no one is watching you. Not true in my experience. Not in a bad way - just that people (including me) watch and have opinions about other people. It’s just how humans are.

But it is possible to know that and to carry on showing up to be present in the gym and lift what I’m told to lift.

if I can do it, you can do it.

I’m 70 and have been back at the gym for around six months. I do classes , body sculpt, body pump, LBT , those sort of classes. I’ve lost a stone and a half and my body has changed so much . There is a real mixture of women who attend these classes and all so friendly, maybe you could give that a try ?

I feel a bit like you, OP.
its not that anyone would take notice of me, but like it’s not a comfy environment to be doing this now and you don’t fit.
I would like a home gym in the garage one day. That’s about as far as I would go with that business.
I just want to be alone and do weird stuff when I work out.

Buy a Magic Mirror! They have so many workouts and you feel you’re with a personal trainer - game changer! Theres workouts to suit all levels of fitness and it corrects your posture etc to make sure you’re doing everything right. It also means I don’t need to drive to the gym.

Everyone will have their headphones on and really won’t be looking at you, maybe at the hot 20 year olds but not you.

My local, chain, cheap gym is a real mix of ages, sizes and level of fitness. No one is judging anyone. Headphones on and enjoy yourself!

My local, chain, cheap gym is a real mix of ages 16 to 70s), sizes and level of fitness. No one is judging anyone. Headphones on and enjoy yourself!

My local, chain, cheap gym is a real mix of ages 16 to 70s), sizes and level of fitness. No one is judging anyone. Headphones on and enjoy yourself!

Sorry 3 x 🤣🤣

My local council run gym is full of old biddies of which I am one. Many are very fit, others less so just doing their best. We definitely outnumber the gym bros and insta-girls who presumably are down the road at Pure or David Lloyd.

I don't understand this perception that you need a "home gym". You can exercise at home for free with absolutely nothing. I shared the Fitness Blender website earlier up. Free workouts. If you want weights, use some water bottles till you need something heavier.

Fits in with your timescales, free and no shame. I really don't understand why people feel they need "equipment" to work out. We even have an exercise bike and rower at home (my OH bought both and never uses them). I still just run and use online workouts. They just become clothes horses for most people.

I go to a gym that does small group weight training, it’s 25% women in 50s/60s, 25% blokes who are very polite and nice, 25% younger scrunch bum bra tops women who are also nice and 25% random.

it’s friendly non competitive unless you want to be and I go for 40 minutes and it’s done. I’m 58, dress in o,d leggings and t shirts and generally feel much better for going.

agree with everyone saying gyms aren’t the best all and end all, but I’d fallen off a cliff fitness wise in menopause and needed to get strength back to do the walking etc that I really love.

I was never into gyms and hate the vibe/smell/lighting of that kind of thing. But when I hit my 50s I wanted to do some weight-bearing exercise because the menopause. A friend recommended an outdoor CrossFit gym in the woods near where I live - there’s an over 50s programme. I had no idea what to expect - 2 years later and I’m still hooked! I love training outside, all year round, looking at the trees and seeing the sky. There are definitely no bum scrunch leggings in attendance, even in the younger groups - people are there to train. At 56 I’m one of the youngest in my sessions - working out with folks in their 60s and 70s is extremely inspiring! And we have a good laugh. I never in a million years thought I’d be into something like this - can you find something like that maybe?

It's the same at our council run gym/leisure centre during the day. Then there are the young mums at the baby and toddler swimming.

Presumably because of the need for weights. If you want to lift enough weight to actually build (or preserve) muscle, water bottles won't be much help. A rower and bike and a few light dumbbells won't do much for sarcopenia.

I agree - of course you don't need a full home gym set up to exercise at home, and there's plenty of useful stuff you can do with bodyweight only (planks, push ups etc). The NHS does recommend in their beginner programme using tin cans or water bottles as light weights to start off with, but if you want to resistance train even moderately seriously you will quickly outgrow that and want to move on to proper weights, and ideally a range of them too so you can work the full body. I'm only a beginner but I've already used a lot of different dumbbells from the teeny 2kgs for lateral raises to the 20kg for goblet squats, and lots in between - plus I use the barbell and plates in a similar range. I really wouldn't have space to keep 15+ different weights and a rack, barbell and plates at home plus I feel much more secure and able to push myself with someone else there for a spot/rescue (once embarrassingly I missed the rack after a bench press and nearly dropped it on my head 😬). So yes, home gym not needed but some kit probably is, and for a lot of people that's easier to get just by going a gym rather than setting up at home, once you get over the initial awkwardness of being a newbie in the gym? But I guess doing something is better than nothing so it's a balance between putting people off with the expense and off putting factors of setting themselves up to strengthen train seriously and the non optimal of exercising at home?

Sigh...

Where did I say that once you've started on a weight lifting programme it's not a good idea to actually buy some proper weights? Nowhere that's where.

But in terms of getting started, there is a perception you need all this gear to do so. And rowers and bikes are no better than running for muscle.

I started with small dumbbells and a bar bell. As I get stronger I buy heavier weights. I keep an eye on marketplace for some. It is possible without a gym.

I often squeeze a workout into the time between work and tea, and I wouldn’t be able to do that at a gym. I’d have to factor in the travel there and back etc.

Caroline Girvan does plenty of exercises with one weight or sometimes two weight dumbbells.

I can heavy weight lift anyway as I have a heart condition